SAHD is an acronym for Stay At Home Dads. In some white suburban nightmares, SAHD is an entire subculture. In poor neighborhoods, SAHDs are just called UNEMPLOYED. Before I write about the SAHD Truth about stay at home dads, let me just first apologize to all you SAHDs out there that don’t fall into this category, okay?
Anyway, I did some searching online about SAHDs, and came away with some conclusions I’d like to share. You may be surprised how many SAHDs post on craigslist.
SAHDs by their very nature, are at odds with what society expects- nay DEMANDS- from a red-blooded male American. Work to put food on the table? Keep your emotions on the inside? Come home from a hard day’s work to a warm meal? Make big business deals and feel important? Make some office friendships? That’s not a SAHD.
When SAHDs post on the message boards they express their feelings and insecurities. Here is a sampling:
- SAHDs feel like they are lepers of society, and feel awkward with baby carriages, baby strollers, or backpacks carrying a child. They feel the stares of people during the day when they venture outside.
- SAHDs lose their masculinity very quickly. The first major blow occurs when a SAHD’s wife has a good job, and he doesn’t, and he is forced to quit it or remain unemployed. Ever since the feminist movement, this was seen to be totally acceptable in liberal circles, and has now been accepted as a mainstream entitlement. The only problem with that is…society still has been conditioned to expect both parents to be working. So in 2010, there is still a social stigma for being a SAHD.
- SAHDs learn to sacrifice their needs from the beginning as well. However, a function of this is also distancing himself from his wife. The baby becomes the #1 focus of his life. The baby is also very draining. So when his wife- the bread winner of the family- comes home at 6:00PM, the SAHD just sees her as a shift change. Oh, and according to some SAHDs, their wife isn’t that appreciative of his effort. Talk about a role reversal. It’s like SAHDs live on the planet Venus, which is rules by female Amazon Warriors.
- The SAHD will eventually enjoy changing diapers, singing children’s songs, cooking, cleaning up the house, and other activities that the late, great John Ritter would be great at acting. “Yes, dear.”
- SAHDs become very lonely. If SAHDs become too horny, the fully straight ones flirt with any women they see on the outside. Some straight SAHDs sign up in SAHM (stay at home mom) groups and are the only men at the park with them. Perhaps they can get friendly with SAHMs, and affairs occur. However the men that have been fully trained by their wives will not venture that way. No, SAHDs realize getting friendly with women during the day is a no-no. However, hooking up with other SAHDs as..uhm…friends- now that is accepted by wives. There’s only one problem: since both SAHDs relate to each other’s problems so much, and both SAHDs aren’t getting sex anymore, and both SAHDs have the time and opportunity to explore a fantasy…well….you do the math. Gay SAHDs are the underbelly of this whole movement. I am talking about so-called straight married men that engage in homosexual sex with other dads during the day. You think I’m joking. I’m not.
- Playgroups. “SAHD Playgroups” is a keyword phrase in this subculture. It’s a meeting place- usually someone’s house, where all the SAHDs dump their kids in the backyard or living room to play video games. A couple of SAHDs watch the kids, while the other SAHDs….uhm…socialize and take a break from their hectic day.
- Most SAHDs don’t know how to socialize well since they feel so embrassed. Many hide in their houses. Part of hiding in your house is surfing the internet. And if you’re a SAHD, you probably have looked at porn during the day. And the next thing you know, you are looking for other SAHDs in your local area to “hook up”. Maybe you want to meet a zoo.
Okay folks- confession time. I’m just joking, okay? SAHDs have none of these psychological issues, and are perfectly happy raising their little son or little daughter (or both) during the day. The gay stuff about SAHDs and making fun of the SAHD lifestyle and sex life: it’s all a joke on my part. There is nothing to see here, keep moving along. Uh-huh.