Here are the Enneagram Growth Recommendations By Type, as per Don Riso and Russ Hudson in Understanding the Enneagram (in my own blunt words). I like to call them the Enneagram Ten Commandments. One reason why the Enneagram Personality system is so much more valuable than standard personality assessment tests is that once you know your type, you can know your path to happiness/contentment/inner peace/mental health. By always remembering these Ten Commandments, you can break your bad habits that you have been wired and conditioned to fall into. At the very least they help with acceptance.
Enneagram Type 1 Recommendations (The Reformer)
- Find time to RELAX.
- Do NOT expect others to change quickly after hearing your lectures.
- Lay off the harsh criticism.
- Get in touch with your emotions and feelings you keep hidden.
- Step back and analyze your self-righteous repressed anger.
- Stop imposing strict rules when teaching and become a wiser teacher, as opposed to a teacher that has to be “right” all time.
- Become a better LISTENER.
- Understand not EVERYTHING has to be done a certain way, and give the perfection obsession a rest every once in a while.
- Instead of becoming obsessed with ORDER to the point of self-destruction, find out what’s really bothering your unconscious and deal with it constructively.
- A person doesn’t have to be perfect to be good.
Enneagram Type 2 Recommendations (The Helper)
- Take care of YOURSELF before helping others.
- Strive to become aware of the TRUE reason why you are helping someone.
- Ask people what THEY need and respect their wishes, as opposed to forcing your brand of help.
- Resist the temptation to call attention to yourself or things you did in a relationship for a pat on the back.
- Do not shower people with gifts or undeserved praise with the expectation of something in return, and then withdraw when not received.
- You MUST honor your pre-existing family commitments before rushing into new relationships and friendships.
- Understand that not EVERYONE IN THE WORLD is as emotional expressive as you are, and it doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate you if they are as not demonstrative as you are.
- Stop being possessive.
- Avoid rescue missions to fix someone so they can be with you.
- Remember, your unselfish love is your greatest power, and people are attracted to it.
Enneagram Type 3 Recommendations (The Achiever)
- TELL THE TRUTH.
- Take a pause in your busy day and make an emotional connection with someone, and COOPERATE.
- Take a break.
- Develop social awareness outside of your projects.
- Stop trying to live up to other people’s expectations- it is the road to ruin.
- Support and encourage others instead of looking for that for yourself.
- Use your natural skills and talents (high energy, organization, humor, etc.) to enhance a group you belong to.
- Lay off the unrealistic expectations impose on yourself.
- Become aware of your limitations.
- Stop comparing yourself and your success to others.
Enneagram Type 4 Recommendations (The Individualist)
- Your feelings are current SNAPSHOTS and not true reality.
- Stop putting off things if you’re not in the right mood.
- Commit yourself to doing something that will bring out the best in you, no matter how small it may seem.
- Become SELF-DISCIPLINED.
- Please stop living in the world of fantasy and imagination, by constantly talking to yourself and rehearsing conversations in your mind.
- Talk OPENLY (no holds barred) with someone you can 100% trust.
- Get involved with community service or an activity that will make you less self-conscious.
- STOP with the self-pity, eh?
- Don’t take everything personally.
- Become aware how over-the-top your self-criticism is.
Enneagram Type 5 Recommendations (The Investigator)
- Notice when you over-think or speculate which takes you out of reality and the present moment.
- Relax- without alcohol or drugs.
- Get advice from someone you trust when you are overwhelmed by the infinite possibilities of a problem.
- Realize when you are investing too much time in something (which turns into a distraction) that has no rewards to your confidence or production.
- Stop rejecting people trying to get close to you, and stop withdrawing from others.
- Be COOPERATIVE and stop working solo all of the time.
- Get a handbook on how to TALK to people and be social, because you really have no idea how intimidating, scary, or weird you come off in social settings.
- STOP looking DOWN upon people whom you deem have a lower intelligence or “inferior” philosophy.
- Ask yourself if YOU were the antagonist in a relationship.
- Use your heart more instead of just your head, and show compassion towards others.
Enneagram Type 6 Recommendations (The Loyalist)
- Anxiety is normal, so learn how to channel it to be productive, as opposed to using drugs or alcohol to deaden it.
- Please STOP with the pessimism and self-doubt, because it comes out as frustration and anger towards your loved ones.
- You can’t always manage things out of your hands, but you are the only one in charge of managing your emotions- so STOP being so fearful and STOP overreacting to stress.
- Work on trusting others, and risk rejection.
- People really aren’t out to get you, and there is no cosmic conspiracy.
- Don’t pass the buck out of fear of making a mistake.
- Have a realistic belief in your capabilities so you can become grounded and more secure.
- Ask yourself why you react to authority figures a certain way and see if it’s logical.
- Don’t be shy-tell people what’s on your mind, otherwise be ready to be called a flip-flopper or defensive.
- Strive to lean on yourself more than the various authority figures, guides, and advice givers.
Enneagram Type 7 Recommendations (The Enthusiast)
- Try to let an impulse pass without acting on it, so you can judge them better.
- Listen to others, you may learn something.
- You don’t have to do EVERYTHING or ACQUIRE everything right now.
- Choose quality over quantity, a nice easy cliche you can remember.
- Always think long-term, and if your current plan has long-term benefits.
- Happiness comes INDIRECTLY, you can’t just “get” it by having sex with everyone, buying the latest phone, drinking with your friends, or working out in the gym all the time.
- Beware when you GET OUT OF CONTROL due to your enthusiasm on a project.
- WATCH WHAT YOU SAY (off-color jokes, comments to get attention or solicit a reaction).
- Seek out friends where you can just relax, be yourself, and not feel obligated to entertain or motivate.
- Take the time to appreciate the things you already have, and the joy of life.
Enneagram Type 8 Recommendations (The Challenger)
- Show restraint.
- The world is NOT against you.
- Stop ALIENATING others.
- Power, status, and materialism are overrated.
- Get a higher purpose besides your own self-interests, you know, like showing love and generosity to you family, friends, or employees.
- Surrender or submit to a higher power.
- Turn your life around NOW, even if you burned bridges and have fallen down into the depths of darkness.
- Create good opportunities for people, and they will never forget the positive things you enabled them to achieve.
- Would you rather cause harm or good?
Enneagram Type 9 Recommendations (The Peacemaker)
- Strive for independence instead of going with the flow, bowing to peer pressure, or acquiescing to others in relationships.
- Work hard to focus on productive things, and push yourself for mental, emotional, and physical challenges.
- Get the negative feelings out in the open- they are normal, and they are disrupting your inner peace.
- Honestly examine your past and current relationships, and work on commitment even if it means sacrificing your inner fantasy world of peace of mind.
- Exercise- please.
- EXPRESS YOURSELF, because repressing your emotions will cause PHYSICAL AILMENTS.
- Do not- REPEAT DO NOT- use drugs or alcohol to dull your anxiety.
- Stop sleepwalking and LIVE LIFE NOW before it’s too late!
- Show some confidence and stand up for yourself to your friends, family and co-workers- you may be surprised how much they will respect you for that.
- Be attentive to the needs of others- just don’t pretend to listen.
For more details:
Understanding the Enneagram: The Practical Guide to Personality Types