Yo, this is T-Ractor coming at you from Deep Side. Just got back the Lauderhill DMV. You gotta bring FOUR proofs to the DMV now. This is what you gots to bring with yourself if you gotta get your driver’s licence renewed or if you have to get a new Florida’s driver’s license:
- Birth certificate or passport! Can you believe that? Now I been stayin at Deep Side my entire life? Why the hell I need a PASSPORT for? And my birth certificate? Man, I gots to ask my moms about that. I think she has a hospital birth certificate, but you gots to bring your state birth certificate.
- Social Security Card. Yeah, I lost mines, too. So instead you can bring your paycheck or W-2. If you old or disabled you can bring in your SSA-1099. Now the problem with me is that I ain’t work, you know. So I don’t have any of that. So, like, I was told I had to bring a letter from the Social Security Office. Then after I get the letter, I can bring like my concealed weapons permit or the court order when my girlfriend went crazy on me and got a restraining order against me.
- Okay, now this should really be #3 and #4. Because this is where it get REAL confusing for all us poor folks out there. You need to show TWO…and I repeat this because good ol’ Carlos only brought ONE…TWO…UNO, DOS…PROOF OF WHERE YOU LIVE. Now, my name ain’t on any of the bills because my baby momma pays all the them bills, you know what I’m saying? So my name ain’t on the lease, and we obviously don’t own a house. Her name is on the phone bill and electric bill. Also, I don’t have car insurance no more, so I didn’t have any proof of automobile. I don’t have a bank account statement neither ’cause I don’t trust banks. But the good news is that I had saved a letter in the mail from the District Attorney saying I owe child support money. But I didn’t have the fourth one, which could had been a Voter’s Card, Health Insurance Card, Car Registration, or other stuff that White People have.
- Oh, and here’s a very special thing that THEY don’t tell you, but I’m gonna tell you right now: YOUR ADDRESS HAS TO MATCH ON ALL FOUR OF DEM THINGS!!!!!!!!!
Okay, here are a few other tips for you brothers and sisters:
- Florida DMV DON’T ACCEPT VISA NO MORE!! So you got to bring CASH or check (hehehehehe).
- If you bring a Mastercard or Discover credit card, they will charge you $1.50 more!
- You gots to make an appoint on the internet before you go, but it’s kinda hard to. Like when I went on the internet from Kinko’s, I saw that the next appointment was March 11, but my driver’s license expires tomorrow, so I was like DAMN. So I had sat there for 7 hour straight. And the white people who had made appointments just walked in and out in like 20 minutes. So my point is AS SOON AS YOU GET THE LETTER SAYING THAT YOU NEED TO RENEW or AS SOON AS YOU KNOW YOU GOT TO GET A DRIVER’S LICENSE, you need to do it on the internet. If you try to call you never gonna get thru!
- Yo man, you won’t believe who I saw up in there at Deepside! I saw Pokey Reese. He used to play baseball. I also saw Queen Latifah. Oh, and I saw the hottest Venezuelan chick. But she was SO firecrackin that she MUST have been one of those shemales, you know what I’m saying? ‘Cause God ain’t make girls that naturally beautiful.
ANYWAY, these are T-Ractor’s Tips for what Proof You Need to Bring for the DMV in Florida.
Oh, and if you a IMMIGRANT…HAHAHAHA you need to bring MORE stuff even though you can’t even read or speak English. So you better bring your girlfriend to do everything for you. Like, it ain’t just green cards only anymore…you gotta bring a whole bunch of other stuff.