Truly Savage Rant about Lehman Brothers Crash

I can't remember the exact words Michael Savage said, but basically he said:

"You're addicted to porn, or sports ... and you're stupefied by all the celebrity sluts ... you're a slave ... you smoke your pot and then you don't know what is happening ... why aren't you marching on Washington? Why is no one calling for an investigation into this? It's Black Monday ... 9/11 happened when Bush first came in ... and now, we're having a financial 9/11 as he leaves, on 9/15 ... the title of today's show is 'From 9/11 to 9/15: Whodunnit?' Imagine you were reading a novel ... they write these books, years after the fact, about how Rockefeller or J.P. Morgan did this or that, and the economy crashed. And now? NOBODY'S questioning this? This was done by, what, NOBODY?

"I watched CNBC for hours today. They do a great job there. One thing was missing -- they didn't call for an investigation ... Jim Cramer almost did it once ... I like Cramer ... but they know that if they call for an investigation, they lose their access to information.

"Four years ago, people were walking away in handcuffs b/c of Enron ... that's nothing compared to this. I hope the FBI is investigating....

"Normally when there's a plane crash, the first question is who did it? Was it pilot error? Well, who is the pilot here?

"I'm not saying he's guilty, but Henry Paulson, former head of Goldman Sachs ... and Goldman Sachs is the last bank standing. There were five investment banks, and now there are two. I'm not saying it's his fault, but he should resign for the APPEARANCE of impropriety."

Damian Hospital Quits Enneagram Council of Twos

Ministry of Truth
BREAKING NEWS

Damian Hospital, who previously turned in his honorary membership to the Enneagram Council of Sixes, has officially resigned from caring about the Enneagram Council of Twos.

"Just blowing off steam now in this rant, but I'm done with Twos. I ran out of patience, and believe me, I have been dealing with Type Twos for over 30 glorious years," Hospital said via telescreen.

"How much do I loathe thee? Allow me to list the ways: Twos are possessive, forgetful, overbearing, predictable, spurned, demand justice for helping, and refuse to be held accountable like everyone else."

"Nothing happened to spark this rant of mine. It just built up."

"Type 3's may be evil manipulators, but Type 2's just control differently to fill their self-esteem. They are excellent underdogs, too. They refuse to be "judged", and will lie, lie, lie to achieve their means."

"I've just had enough. I've had enough with their meaningless chatter when I'm trying to work, and I'm tired of female relatives automatically being stereotypical 2's. They all hate pain, but they all love pain killers."

"Most Two's I know must be liked and loved. It's like they are stuck being kids, and that's why they don't age as rapidly as others. Two's want to be Fours, so they act like Free Spirits. What winds us happening is that their karma and irresponsible actions ("it sounded good at the time") cause more misery and stress in their lives."

"Now, I just nod my head when they ramble about something that is truly insignificant, but seems like a major catastrophe to them. Nag, nag, nag. All card carrying members of the TDA* too. "

"I mean, they aren't productive with real things. They think they're productive in relationships, but after the break up, that guy or institution or family member is DEAD."

"I nod my head. Agree. Try to block out what they are saying or are attempting to e-mail me, and move on. I mean, heaven help me if I actually respond with the truth or point out a logical flaw in their predicament. And if I ever- EVER- once expressed a feeling how THEY acting in a selfish and not-helpful way, forget about it- I'm the New Public Enemy #1. They don't listen to me anyway- bunch of freakin' Drama Queens- the lot of them. They *always* have problems in relationships and money? I WONDER WHY."

Click here and here for info about the Enneagram that DailySkew wrote.

Here's a clip about a Type Two. Believe me, this has to be the most CALM Two I've ever seen (of course the interview is an advertisement, but you get the idea.)



*TDA: Time Displacement Authority. Ever have someone who "makes" you be late? Don't you ever just want to do your own daily routine without being sidetracked? Did you ever wish you could throw your cell-phone in a river? Well, if you find your time-line getting screwed up by someone over and over, there's a great chance they are members of the TDA. They exist solely to ruin your original time-line. They are the people that call you up and cause you to forget something or kill an hour of your productivity. They are the ones who force you to watch Star Wars marathons when you really need to be going to sleep. They are the ones that keep saying "goodbye" when you try to leave their house, and wind up causing you to be late or get into an accident. Sometimes it's perfectly harmless; other times your time-line can be ruined.

Crisis on Earth-Star Wars

Crisis on Earth-Star Wars

by a former Jedi Master

As a former superhero-turned-family man, I appreciate history and continuity. These two things are very important to me.

Take Star Wars: the books actually make an attempt to stay in continuity with the movies. George Lucas approves any new storylines, so you know what you're reading is actual storyline, not just pages and pages of stuff that can be deleted at a whim by someone in the future who decides they want a new ending to your favorite Timothy Zahn book, or whatever.

The movies, on the other hand ... have gone in a direction I don't like. I speak of the original trilogy, which I bought on DVD when it finally came out.

The first shocker was seeing the young Anakin at the end of Return of the Jedi, instead of the aged Anakin. Do you know what that means? That actor has been ERASED FROM THE CONTINUITY.

Does Lucas not respect his older fans? I mean, sure, for kids, it makes sense to have Anakin at the end of RoJ, since they'll recognize him from the new trilogy. But, hey! We didn't have a young Anakin and we loved and appreciated the movies! Hasn't Lucas ever heard of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it?"

The real shocker, and what inspired this article -- was watching Empire Strikes Back last night. I've seen bits and pieces of the movie, while coloring with my toddler, but last night I paid attention for the first time ... and I saw the REAL Emperor.

That's right. Ian McDiarmand -- not the other guy who was the original emperor. There Darth Vader was, kneeling and saying, "What is thy bidding, my master?" when the Emperor from Return of the Jedi appears!

My jaw hit the floor. I had always wondered why they hadn't inserted him in after the fact, like in the Special Edition. I couldn't breathe, I was so stunned and pleased.

And they added dialogue! They explained how Vader comes to know he has a son! Wow!

And to hear the REAL Emperor say "Yeeeeesssss," instead of the original Emperor actor with his quick, "Yes, yes," was great...but then, I got to thinking.

There was something about the original emperor, and knowing that wasn't the guy from Return of the Jedi. There was something about accepting that little quirk, and being able to chuckle to yourself about it, as you attempted to imagine the similarities between the original guy and the new guy when watching Return.

And then the thought hit me -- my son will never see the original Emperor. And he will never see the old Anakin. They are now BOTH ERASED FROM THE CONTINUITY FOREVER.

That's because the original movies, as they were first released in the 1970's and 80's DON'T EXIST ANYMORE. So, unless you happen to have a video copy of it (which, much to my regret, I lost several moves ago), you are out of luck.

Imagine -- you're sitting with a friend your age, and your offspring. A scene from Star Wars pops up, and you turn and say, "Hey, you remember when Han shot first?" or "Remember when Anakin stood there next to Obi-Wan and Yoda?" and your friend will laugh and your kids will stare at you, absolutely dumbfounded.

"What are you talking about, dad?" they'll say, genuinely perturbed. "There was no such scene," or "That never happened," or "What Anakin?"

Your kids will think your nuts ... and eventually, you, too, will forget that scene ... and you will accept what George Lucas has recreated as THE ORIGINAL.

I'm reminded of issue 11 of Crisis on Infinite Earths, when only the heroes who stood before the dawn of time remembered the old timeline. I feel like a man without a planet.

Or without the old Anakin.

Users are losers

Users are losers

Message to Drug Users

Hey stoners, s'up?

Dude, did you know marijuana contributes to slow reaction times, memory loss, and decreased cognitive thinking? Not to mention slower erection time. Unfortunately, all of you are in denial and simply REJECT the research.

Bro, long-term use of weed can contribute to lung cancer.

Oh, and one more reason: it’s illegal, and you can get into unnecessary trouble. You put a burden on our judicial system and rehab centers. In fact, you are supporting Columbian drug lords, and contribute to slave labor, organized crime, and death.

You think that drug use is a personal choice, and that not only should it be legalized, but those who speak out against it should keep their mouths shut and stop being "judgmental" or "holier than thou". We should "mind our own business".

Here’s a counter argument: any sane person realizes that driving a vehicle while being stoned is just as bad as driving while under the influence of alcohol. You’re driving on the road and highways, and you’re endangering yourself, family, friends, and animals.

Here's another one- your WORK PERFORMANCE SUCKS- you're LATE, you're FORGETFUL, and you start Jonesing when your dealer runs dry. You have no MOTIVATION and you get offended when the people that DO want to work get their "panties in a bunch" for wanting to perform their jobs.

Some of you think that since weed is “natural” that there are no harmful effects. Ever touch poison ivy?

Studies have shown that being a user- even a “recreational user”- increases the chance of you experimenting with even more messed up drugs, like Ecstasy and coke.

What are you running from? Are your lives so stressful that you have to use artificial means to achieve happiness or relax? Are you that bummed out about something? Do you just cave in to the peer pressure? Do you think it’s cool to pollute the air and mess up your body and mind? Trying to increase the chance of getting laid?

It leads to this...

Ya think it makes you focus better. All it does is push you down further in your own misery. You can't handle the responsibility, so you do something even more irresponsible, which further creates more problems in your life.

Here are some patterns I've seen:
1) You all think it's your right to break the law, and endanger others, without admitting it.
2) You think it actually increasing your focus (I guess because you were really, really, really into that 70's movie you rented from Blockbuster..what was it's name? I forgot, dude, but that was awesome.
3) You think anyone who doesn't use is uncool or an authority figure.
4) You feel you need it to "get in the mood".
5) You convince yourself that smoking weed every Friday night will NOT lead into harder drugs, and that you can stop any time.
6) You're in a fog most of the time, but you deny it.
7) You think it's just sooooooooo much funnnnnnnnn.
8) You have ALL the arguments that support using it.
9) It's the only thing that really motivates you.
10) You enjoy using the "lingo" and talking about it like a hobby.

Don’t like what I’m saying? Move along, then, I'm just trying to help.