The Original DailySkew

Parodies, commentaries, short stories, reviews, opinions ... you never know what you'll read next.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

In Memoriam: Charlton Heston

Click here for a fantastic blog post that memorialized Heston and his great career, complete with classic movie clips.

Click here for a great eulogy by Damian.

Click here for a dream I had of Heston this morning, prior to hearing of his passing. I'm sure it's just a coincidence hahahahaahahahaa.

Finally, I'd like to reprint a satirical-yet-serious piece from a few years back. We here at the Skew officially endorse this message:

Earth-Never: President Heston Speaks on September 12, 2001






The following is an official Earth-Never transcript of a speech delivered by President Charlton Heston the day after the 9-11 tragedies:

The bombing has began. In response to the COWARDLY acts that occurred yesterday in New York, Washington D.C., and Pennsylvania, we are destroying all-known terrorists in the Middle East.

We know who the terrorists are. The hijackers were members of Al-Quaida. Al-Quaida's leader Osama bin Laden is currently located in Afghanistan. His organization trains there. Now, his organization is being wiped from the face of the earth.

As with any war, innocent victims will die. Many innocents died yesterday, while trying to go to work. Today, many more will die. Any person living within 100 miles of a known terrorist is likely to be dead after tonight. Please pray for these souls -- that God will help them understand and give them peace.

We are the world's superpower. We do not tolerate these GUTLESS attacks. And we are responding in kind.

As the world's superpower, we have a responsibility -- to stand for freedom and democracy, and to crush tyranny when it exists.

Yesterday, we were attacked by a new kind of tyranny. As a superpower, we have the ability to counter-attack and wipe this new kind of tyranny off the face of the earth. And we are.

It is unfortunate that the Middle East governments were unwilling to fight the terrorists head-on. Their lack of diligence has lead to this day, and makes them equally accountable for the thousands of deaths on American soil.

After the bombing, the Middle East will be largely inhabitable for years to come. This will obviously have an affect on our economy, as well as the world's economy. We believe that this is a NECESSARY hardship that we MUST endure in order to insure that terrorism will CEASE to exist.

One nation has been spared: Israel. Israel has been the only partner in that area to stand by us 100%. We have assurances from Prime Minister Sharon that the Palestinian terrorist problem will also be taken care of over the next 24 hours. We trust Israel, and we applaud their actions.

We understand that the actions being taken today will be upsetting to certain members of the Islamic community here in America. In order to assure that no retaliatory attacks take place within our borders, all mosques will be asked to close until the terrorist problem is solved, and all Muslims will be asked to voluntarily hand themselves over to local military or police officials. We need to get to the bottom of this, and root out terrorism in all forms from our country. If your Muslim, I say to you now: your cooperation will be greatly appreciated.

Finally, my fellow Americans, we must look to the future. The men and women who died yesterday will not die in vain. We will insure that terrorism will cease to exist in our country, and in the world. By doing so, we offer a peaceful planet to our children, and their children.

Goodnight, and may God bless us all.

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Friday, January 18, 2008

Advanced Enneagram Studies -- Rewiring

In the past, we here at the DailySkew have written about the Enneagram and the Animalgram (an alternate version of the Enneagram that we use in the Dream Seeker stories) ... one of the things I brought up with the Animalgram is the theory of Rewiring. I'd like to explain rewiring in terms of the Enneagram.

First, let's define rewiring:

Rewiring occurs when a person is under extreme duress from factors in the environment. An example would be living in a 20th-century country where the individual is oppressed by a totalitarian regime, with no basic human rights. Being imprisoned and interrogated for extended periods can also cause rewiring, as well as intense, prolonged treatments for physical or mental ailments.

Rewiring can occur at any stage of a person's life -- childhood, adolescence, adulthood. An overbearing parent or spouse can trigger the process of rewiring, for example. Any pressure that is too much for the person to bear for an extended period of time can and will lead to rewiring.

We now know that the process of rewiring is gradual -- much like a frog being boiled slowly to death, the person may not be aware of the shift until it has already occurred.

Now, let's define the rewiring path:
3---> 8---> 7---> 9---> 5---> 4---> 6---> 2---> 1--->


Up until this morning, the only thing that had confounded me, in terms of the rewiring path, was how to account for wing types (example, 6 with a 7 wing). Do the wings follow their own separate path? I woke up today with the insight.

Basically, the Enneagram is 360 degree circle, with points along that circle that stand for a personality type. The paths of integration/disintegration/rewiring guide us to points in the circle -- but it's still a circle.

I realized that, when you're dealing with a person who has a wing type, the circle shifts, much like the way you would slightly adjust the a dial on an oven.

The dominant personailty type travels along the paths of integration and disintegration, as well as rewiring. The wing merely tags along, and morphs into another wing type, depending on where the dominant personality type lands on the circle.

So, starting with type 3w4, you would have this rewiring path:

3w4->8w9->7w8->9w1->5w6->4w5->6w7->2w3->1w2->

Starting with 3w2, this would be the path:

3w2->8w7->7w6->9w8->5w4->4w3->6w5->2w1->1w9->

I will not comment on the symmetry of the numbers at this time.

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