A History of Pro Wrestling Book Review (2006)

Jim Londos was one of the first mainstream world champions

Ringside: A History of Professional Wrestling in America is written by a college historian, not a pro wrestling fan, so the fresh perspective is a good change of pace.

The Good

• Scott Beekman goes way back and shows that American MEDIA had previously revealed that pro wrestling featured predetermined matches since the late 1800’s and the story really broke during the first few decades of the 1900’s. So much for the NEWSFLASH that Vince McMahon told the world in the early 1990’s about wrestling not being a sport.
• Excellent analysis of the Death of the Territories, and Vince McMahon’s rise to power and crushing of the other wrestling leagues.
• Great NWA history and Golden Age pro wrestling featuring Ed The Strangler Lewis, Jim Londos, Lou Thesz, Frank Gotch, and Gorgeous George.

The Bad

• No wrestling personalities are really featured here. It seems as if shady promoters are the true visionaries and controllers behind the scenes, and the pro wrestlers have a limited effect on the industry. In fact, the focus of the book is the promoters. Granted the major champions are featured, but it’s a shame that say, Ric Flair and Harley Race just get honorable mentions in a pro wrestling history book.
• A bulk of the beginning of Ringside: A History of Professional Wrestling in America was dedicated to tracing pro wrestling back to Greece and pre-1800’s, when Mr. Beekman should have started with the carnivals.

Conclusion: A great reference book that delivers on its title. It answers the question: how did pro wrestling get where it is today? However, it doesn’t paint any colorful pictures about the various personalities that makes pro wrestling so great to fans around the world.

Ringside: A History of Professional Wrestling in America

Posted in wrestling | 1 Comment »

Top 10 Reasons Why TNA Will Fail

Is TNA biting off more than it can chew?

10. TNA- the place where wrestlers go when Vince McMahon fires them: TNA originally was a refreshing alternative which tried to focus on high-flying, fast paced modern pro wrestling, with a good mix of B-List veterans or well-known NWA, AWA, and WWF retired wrestlers with on-screen roles. Although TNA still has young guns, the rest of the roster is made of of former WWE workers who should have retired years ago. Instead they hog the main events and interview times. Last week the Nasty Boys faced Team 3-D (Dudley Boys) in the year 2010. In other words, the veterans have the appearance of being discarded from WWE.

9. Bad PPVs- I guess people have expendable incomes. Originally, TNA’s business plan was a pay per view every week for $10, but now they are back at $30 monthlies. If the PPVs were hot, like Ring of Honor (the 3rd “major” U.S. wrestling promotion) events that are sold on DVDs, that’s another story. But TNA PPVs have a reputation for having boring angle segments with the booking team, Mick Foley as Commissioner, NO-SHOWS, and a 6-man tag team main event featuring old guys.

8. Copying the ghost of WCW- Anyone in the pro wrestling industry should have read the Death of WCW by now. It’s a week by week analysis of everything WCW did wrong with their company. WCW had over $50 million dollars in profit one year, and then wound up losing money the next year. TNA seems to be copying “How Not to Run a Wrestling Company”. In fact, they hired the SAME CAST OF CHARACTERS that killed WCW.

7. Welcome to Orlando- Yes, I know TNA sometimes goes on tour out of Florida, but it’s totally based in Orlando. It’s hard to have World Titles when you film from Universal Studios every week, and ask fans not to start hardcore chants.

6. Bad storylines- They don’t make sense. They push older guys who have no in-ring skill anymore. No one likes them except the front office. There is a huge disconnect with fans and management. TNA tries to copy WWE and the late WCW instead of creating an identify of its own.

5. Jeff Jarrett- Let’s face it, he only became a regional star because of his dad, Jerry. He’s Vice-President now, and out of touch with the modern fan base. He finally jobs when he wrestles now and then, but TNA was definitely “Jeff Jarrett’s league” when it first started. Now that Dixie Carter bought it over, Jarrett’s power has decreased, but he’s still influential behind the scenes.

4. Vince Russo- The Long Island native that makes Michael Savage look sane and rational. He’s a script writer on a power trip. Truly, truly an egotistical little man, who has had a number of books written about his actual role in the WWE Attitude era and the downfall of WCW.

3. Kevin Nash- One of the worst bookers of all time, and one of the worst in-ring workers of all time. This Enneagram Type 7 believes he is a master strategists and intelligent, but his IQ is probably around 70. So what does TNA do? He tries to wrestle when his legs hold him up, collects checks from his home in Florida, and, oh, he books.

2. Eric Bischoff- ’nuff said

1. Hulk Hogan- He hasn’t had a good match since……uhm….probably 1992. He has shown he has no skill for booking matches and creating storylines. His ego is larger than the sun. His salary demands are sick. He can’t tell the truth. He brings “his boys” in. When it comes to manipulation and backstage politics, HHH looks like an amateur.

The Death of WCW: WrestleCrap and Figure Four Weekly Present . . . (WrestleCrap series)

Posted in wrestling | No Comments »

Missy Hyatt: First Lady of Wrestling Book Review

Missy Hyatt: First Lady of Wrestling is really a memoir full of sex stories and the world revolving around Missy (real name: Melissa Ann Hiatt). She has an Enneagram Personality Type 7, and she’s not mentally stable. Look, we live in a society where I get heat for being “judgemental”, but Missy is pretty clear about how she broke in the wrestling industry: it all started with oral sex. Many guys online simply don’t want to come clean about labeling Missy like that since she gives shoot interviews to wanna-be “wrestling journalists”. She broke in as an obsessive fan and became a ring rat (groupie) in Florida (of course).

Missy Hyatt: First Lady of Wrestling

1- (THREE WAY CHAMPS) Ric Flair/Chris Jericho/Bret Hart
4- Mick Foley I
5- Dynamite Kid
6- Billy Graham
7- Fred Blassie
8- Lou Thesz
9- Shawn Michaels10-Batista
11- Ted DiBiase
12- Jerry Lawler
13- Mick Foley II
14- Harley Race
15- Dusty Rhodes
16- Terry Funk
17- Ivan Koloff
18- Bobby Heenan I

Posted in wrestling | No Comments »

Ivan Koloff Book: Is That Wrestling Fake?-The Bear Facts Review

Is That Wrestling Fake?-The Bear Facts is written by Ivan Koloff and Scott Teal, 2007. Ivan Koloff is one of the most well known “Russian” pro wrestlers; he is known for defeating Bruno Sammartino for the WWWF Heavyweight Championship in 1971 and being Nikita Koloff’s “uncle” in the NWA in the 1980’s.

Ivan Koloff’s autobiography reads like his oral history- he sounds like your old uncle or grandfather telling you his unbelievable life story. The book starts off with Ivan Koloff describing his childhood and growing up in Canada [his real name is Oreall Perras and he has nothing to do with Russia or communism...but hey it's a living, and everyone needs a gimmick in life]. In fact the bulk of the first few chapters is about his brothers, parents, work ethic, climate, and going to prison for cattle rustling.

Ivan tells his life story chronologically but once he hits his wrestling career, it jumps around a bit, and is not as detailed as some other wrestling books. Ivan is an Enneagram Personality Type 8. He keep things simple and some of his stories are really out there in a humorous (and morbid) way. Ivan is a walking conundrum and full of unintentional contradictions. He seems like a good-natured person who just wants to mind his own business, but his stories show that he usually got into fights, and was addicted to the road life (drugs, alcohol, women, fighting at bars, etc.) He’s extremely lucky he never was imprisoned after his cattle rustling days in Canada, and frankly, he’s very lucky to be alive today.

Ivan is from a different era and setting- he had to learn how to survive at an early age, so I can’t judge or condemn him for repeating his mistakes and going down the wrong path, especially since he was having a great time most of his life, and always had a good heart. He’s doesn’t feel sorry for himself and just wanted to work for a living as a pro wrestler.

Unlike other books, Ivan Koloff is not negative at all and doesn’t bash promoters or wrestlers. You really have to read in between the lines to detect if he felt slighted in any way (for example, head booker Dusty Rhodes did not tell Ivan he was turning Nikita Koloff to be a good guy, even though Ivan trained Nikita and was his tag team partner).

The only time Ivan felt low in his career was when WCW (the NWA) phased him out in the late 1980’s because they couldn’t find a spot for him anymore. But Ivan knows that “business is business” and is still friends with Dusty Rhodes to this day.

Ivan can’t say enough good things about The Living Legend Bruno Sammartino- Bruno was kind, compassionate, and classy. Ivan also preferred Vince McMahon, Sr. to Vince McMahon, Jr., which falls in line with many veterans who worked with both promoters feel.

Funny story- The first time Nikolai Volkoff wrestled Ivan Koloff, Nikolai- who is Croatian- was calling moves to Ivan in their matches, but Ivan had no idea what he was saying. Nikolai finally yelled at him in English since Koloff was messing up all the moves: “Are you an IDIOT???” Nikolai shouted. Koloff said, “Yes.”

Since Is That Wrestling Fake?-The Bear Facts is mostly stories told from Ivan’s memory, and his career spanned 29 years, it goes without saying that it is not an accurate or very detailed pro wrestling history book. However it is still entertaining. There is even a tidbit that I have never heard before, and many wrestling “experts” online never mentioned before. According to Ivan Koloff, Vince McMahon had it planned for Ivan Koloff to beat Bob Backlund for the WWF World Title to Hulk Hogan in January 1984, but Ivan didn’t know that at the time, and had moved on since he wanted to switch territories. The Iron Shiek was the #2 choice.

Ivan wraps up the last few chapters discussing how he became a Born Again Christian thanks to Nikita Koloff. Ivan had been heavily into drinking, smoking weed, and snorting cocaine. Ivan is happy now and spreads the Word of the Lord now.

Blackjack Mulligan provides an additional chapter at the end discussing why we should devote our lives to Christ. Ivan Koloff is not as preachy as Blackjack since Ivan is more down to earth and simple-minded. Blackjack turned me off when he said homosexuality is a sin (and a choice).

After reading this book, I have respect for Ivan Koloff as a person and a wrestler. His gimmick was SO HATED by wrestling fans (including myself) that we really never thought there was a human being behind that communist gimmick, and I certainly never analyzed his matches with the other greats from his era [I grew up with Ivan Koloff teaming with Krusher Khrushchev and Nikita Koloff in 1985. I saw his early WWWF matches on video tape when I was a kid, and last year I finally saw his later WWF run against Bob Backlund in 1983].

I have read other pro wrestling books and did a ranking. Here is my updated list of Best Wrestling Autobiographies of All Time:

1- (THREE WAY CHAMPS) Ric Flair/Chris Jericho/Bret Hart
4- Mick Foley I
5- Dynamite Kid
6- Billy Graham
7- Fred Blassie
8- Lou Thesz
9- Shawn Michaels

10-Batista
11- Ted DiBiase
12- Jerry Lawler
13- Mick Foley II
14- Harley Race
15- Dusty Rhodes
16- Terry Funk
17- Ivan Koloff
18- Bobby Heenan I

19- Jesse Ventura
20- The Rock
21- Roddy Piper
22- Bruno Sammartino
23- Arn Anderson

Is That Wrestling Fake?-The Bear Facts

Posted in Review, wrestling | No Comments »

How politicians work us (Politics = pro wrestling)

With Vice President Biden and Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel both going on record and telling the American people that the stimulus plan is working, I’d thought I’d take this time to restate that politics = pro wrestling, especially since President Obama will be pitching Obamacare tonight on Prime Time Wrestling, I mean on national TV. (Click here for my list of Pro Wrestling Jargon Terms).

President Obama’s “People’s Champion” gimmick will be tested as he is pitching to regulate private health insurance and sell to Washington (through the American people) to spend over $1 trillion dollars to reform healthcare now, not later. (Editor’s note: I have no opinion either way; debating health insurance is outside the scope of this post.)

President Obama does his best to come off as a regular guy who loves sports and pop culture, a comically whipped husband, and a loving dad. He does this at townhall meetings, interviews, and press conferences, although trying to make sense of the pretzels he twists is hard. He wants us to identify with him as “one of us” and a “Washington outsider”. Never mind that Average Joe Six Pack didn’t make millions from book sales and never graduated Columbia University and Harvard Law School. But that’s what a gimmick is- to create an image (personae, character) and have people buy into it. Heaven knows the American people were tired of President Bush’s outdated rich cowboy gimmick. The Common Man gimmick had to be created.

Half of Americans went with it- half bought Obama’s platform of Hope and Change. Half politely allowed him some time to settle in and figure out how to handle the recession. We all waited for our checks. We still see unemployment rising, we still see small businesses closing, and we still detect the smell of fear from people when it comes to the future.

Many people will listen to President Obama tonight, and he will describe how the new health care policy will translate into affordable care for all Americans, and how this bill will actually stimulate the economy. Then we will listen to the news, and read the websites, and listen to the radio, and your local stations and you get various opinions as to what the bill actually has in store for us. Even FactCheck.org isn’t sold on Obamacare.

I mean, why healthcare reform now? Obama will say it is such a important issue that it can’t be pushed back 12 years. But the reality is the people that run Washington behind-the-scenes, the people who have some power stake in reforming healthcare, want Obama to cash in on his political capital now, before his popularity rating drops further.

I speak to clients about Obama, and I know a few that are his staunch supporters. You know what they are reduced to saying now? “Bush ruined the economy; it’s not Obama’s fault. Just give it time.”

Anyway, whereas the Bush Administration was pro-corporate America and run by Saudi Arabia, the Obama Administration is run by Green-shirted Chicago Union thugs whose experience comes from fund-raising.

As much as Obama preached about changing the way Washington politics works, it’s still status quo- Washington advisers, the Chief-of-Staff, former campaign managers, Green lobbyists, speech writers, and press secretaries run Washington and always will- it doesn’t matter what the platform is. It’s all a “work”.

I thought since the Democrats run Washington now, any Obama/Pelosi bill would pass instantly. But the truth is, every politician in Washington needs their palms greased to add provisions in the bill to help their state or to help a major company in their district. Politics as usual. Other Democrats are afraid to stand behind a fishy bill and push it through instantly because of responsibility and accountability (no more hiding behind a split House, where you can vote one way but feel another).

Everyone outside of the actual political arena makes money off bills being debated, as well- from the CNN analysts, to millionaire Rush Limbaugh complaining about it, to Politico and DrudgeReport for getting clicks, to whichever companies will be getting budget money…everyone except the People.

Speaking of Politico, it’s amazing how up-front and open people in Washington are about the public relations aspects and image building that goes into making the Obama Image. It’s just like reading an inside wrestling newsletter. The Obama PR machine has not stopped since the campaign.

So who benefits from pushing this healthcare bill? Those in power who want to propagate their status and power by growing and feeding the Government Machine (Bureaucracy). They want to create such a Government controlled system so that the People will continue to vote Democrats in office to continue the “Unlimited Five Year Plan”.

It’s all a show; it never changes, just the faces change. It’s all about keeping in power and creating more government agencies and keeping Washington as the power center. It’s very entertaining to see how creative they get with gimmicks, angles, and interviews, but it’s all predetermined. So don’t get your hopes up about “change”. The only change you will continue to see are the pennies and nickles that somehow fell into the side of your car door.

Posted in politics, wrestling | No Comments »

Damian Hospital: Before they were Champions

And now the premiere of “Before they were Champions: The Untold Stories…” ™

Posted in ccb3, parody, wrestling | No Comments »

Hulk Hogan totally understands O.J.

“I could’ve turned everything into a crime scene, like O.J., cutting everybody’s throat. You see a 19 year old boy driving your Escalade, sleeping in your bed, with your wife. I mean, I totally understand O.J.” – Hulk Hogan interview Rolling Stone Magazine

Followers of the DailySkew and the Enneagram already know that both Hulk Hogan and O.J. Simpson are Enneagram Type 3’s.

The difference between them: Hogan loves himself too much to go to prison. Hogan will do or say anything for publicity. Even though his divorce with Linda has been covered by the tabloids and both of their lawyers are fighting each other, and Hogan’s assets were made public, I still think it’s all a work to avoid getting sued for the Nick Hogan situation.

Terry Bollea (Hogan) has been through so much on paper these last few years (his wrestling career is over and Vince McMahon “won” their rivalry, his TV and movie projects bombed, his daughter’s music career stalled, his son recklessly put his best friend in a coma, he gets ridiculed in the MEDIA all the time, and he was involved in one of the ugliest public divorces, and his wife is with a teenager) that a normal guy would probably avoid the spotlight and maybe even think about suicide.

Instead, Hogan deals with all of these problems by doing what he does best: make money on his name on B-TV shows and cries to the MEDIA about his cheating wife (meanwhile, he cheated on his wife for years while WWF champion).

For the record, I was a Hulkamaniac in the 1980’s and think he would be one of the coolest guys to hang and bang with. I would go as far and say that he was the most popular professional wrestler of all time, and drew the most money.

Maybe one day, Bollea will look in the mirror and realize the illusion he created for himself wasn’t real.

Until then…pass.

Posted in Enneagram, wrestling | No Comments »

Review: The Wrestler movie (2008)

The Wrestler is an authentic compelling emotional drama. It’s no wonder that the Associated Press awarded this the 2008 Movie of the Year even in limited theater release. (As a Golden Globe nominee, it will be released in more theaters this month).

This movie may be fictional, but the life story and internal struggle that an older wrestler deals with after the spotlight moves away from him is real. I’ve read too many autobiographies and inside wrestling newsletters, and seen too many DVD shoot interviews to know that this movie was 100% authentic-down to the most tiny details.

Plot:
A has-been, physically broken-down wrestler named Randy “The Ram” Robinson who was at the top of the pro wrestling industry in the 1980’s, is now working independent matches in the Northeast to pay rent for his trailer, where he lives alone. He’s forced to work at a deli, and moonlight as a wrestler on the weekends. He finds comfort at a strip club, where he finds a “romance” in the subplot.

As his body further breaks down, due to steroids, drugs, alcohol, and hardcore matches, he seeks out to reestablish a relationship with his grown-up daughter. Randy had left his family due to the price of fame, but his daughter is not forgiving. Randy makes no excuses for his fatherhood negligence, but ultimately he only feels at home inside the wrestling ring.

The background plot is Randy getting signed to have a rematch with his arch-nemesis from 1986- The Ayatollah. Unlike Rocky or other boxing movies, the match itself is not important in the grand scheme of things (after all Randy works for small time indy leagues, in front of at most 200 people). The point is how addictive and lonely it is, and how a wrestler is willing to put his body, mind, soul, and life on the line for a few bucks to please the fans and fulfill his unconscious desires to be somebody.

It truly is a touching movie that appeals to adult men and women. Randy is “done”, and he knows it. Heck, his daughter even says it! Like many older wrestlers who work way past their primes in high school gyms, and like many active wrestlers in their primes, they sacrifice themselves to make a living and to have a sense of identity.

There is no cheese in this movie. There’s nothing “fake” or juvenile about it. Unlike previous attempts at fictionalized wrestling movies, this movie is dead serious and genuine. In fact, it plays like the critically acclaimed wrestling documentary Beyond the Mat, which had cameras follow around has-beens Jake “The Snake” Roberts and Koko B. Ware, in addition to filming hardcore icon Mick Foley getting bloodied in the WWF.

The Wrestler finally shows the world what actually goes on in the locker room at these shows- although the matches are predetermined and there is male bonding and comradeship in the locker room, the blood and hardcore damage (chairs, tables, thumb tacks, staples, etc.) are real, as are the bloodthirsty fans who encourage it.

As someone who has attended many small-time wrestling events in my life, I was amazed at the 100% genuine fans and backstage workers in this movie- from the midgets to handicapped fans to fast talking Italian bookers- everyone was there.

The actual matches and arenas were legit- they were from CZW (Combat Zone Wrestling) and ROH (Ring of Honor)- two independent promotions. The wrestling magazines and newsletters shown at the beginning of the movie all looked from the 1980’s, creating the most realistic fictional universe for a “sports movie”.

Actor Mickey Rourke is magnificent in his poignant portrayal of the broken down Randy The Ram. The sense of loneliness, addiction, and being a man out of time is deep. As I said, man and woman alike can sympathize with his emotional turmoil, and although you would think you couldn’t care about a man who is so self-destructive—you will. And that’s why this movie is so powerful.

That’s the key to The Wrestler being a timeless movie: Director Darren Aronofsky and lead actor Mickey Rourke both understood and conveyed why wrestlers are addicted to fame. Although to Average Joe it doesn’t make sense to wrestle in front of 40 people in a backwoods town, Average Joe would now understand and accept that by watching this movie. Viewers will have sympathy and empathy for The Ram’s internal and external struggles and self-inflicted predicaments. The bottom line is that Randy’s poor choices were not made out of intentional malice or true selfishness, but rather because any type of fame is addicting. Wrestling becomes the “real world” to Randy, and while our “real world” is too cold and hurtful to him. It is very similar to Bret Hart’s autobiography- in terms of quality and the struggles. Those fans who like to ask “Why doesn’t [insert name] retire” and “Why can’t he move on with life” will finally find out the answer to those questions.

The Wrestler is being praised by wrestlers, and a couple are envious to see their story on the silver screen. Others are grateful that “the truth can be told”. Actual wrestling fans on the message boards forums universally give this movie two thumbs up. The person who had the potential to be the most threatened would be the most powerful man in the history of wrestling- Vince McMahon of the WWE, the last major promotion, and which is on the stock market.

Here’s the WWE kingpin’s official statement:

“While ‘The Wrestler’ is a very engaging movie, it portrays how wrestling was conducted in some independent wrestling circuits, unlike WWE, which is a global brand with millions of fans.”

And that statement should tell you that this is the best and an accurate portrayal of the business!

Posted in Review, entertainment, wrestling | 3 Comments »

Review: Hulk Hogan’s CCW Wrestling Reality TV Show

I had heard rumblings that Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff (promoter of WCW and nWo fame in the 1990’s) were forming their own wrestling alliance (implied to compete with Vince McMahon’s WWE).

To my dismay, I had stumbled upon Celebrity Championship Wrestling’s website and saw that this was Hogan’s “promotion”, airing on CMT.

CCW- not be be confused with the Coral Springs wrestling league, is a reality TV show where F-List celebrities train and “compete”.

Here’s the cast:

-Danny Bonaduce – television and radio host, reality star and actor The Partridge Family

– Todd Bridges – television personality, actor Different Strokes

– ButterBean – super-heavyweight boxer

– Trishelle Cannatella – television personality, reality star Real World: Las Vegas

– Dustin Diamond – television personality, actor Saved by the Bell

– Erin Murphy – television personality, actress Bewitched (Tabitha Stephens)

– Dennis Rodman – five-time NBA champion

– Frank Stallone – actor, singer, Sylvester Stallone’s brother

– Tiffany – chart-topping ’80s pop singer

– Nikki Ziering – actress, Playboy playmate

Sick yet?

Dennis Rodman needs money? Damn.

The judges are Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Jimmy Hart.
The trainers are Brutus Beefcake and Nasty Boy Brian Knobbs.
Tampa DJ Bubba The Love Sponge did play-by-play.
Another show where Hogan gets his friends to play along with his power fantasies.

Did you vomit yet?

The goal? Survive and win the CCW title.

So..I watched it.

Beefcake and Knobbs train and coach these has-beens and never-weres on the basics. (Although I suspect other more professional trainers were involved and not shown.) The actors then had to work tag team matches against each other in front of a live audience (who were not true fans- they were prompted to cheer or boo, and probably had free tickets…kinda like the Chinese Olympics.)

There were some interesting parts- for example, I enjoyed the inside scoop on how to take a clothesline and kick to the stomach. [For those of who who don't know, I wanted to be a baseball player or pro wrestler when I was a young boy.]

However, with so many reality shows on TV, there is nothing here to make this show unique, besides it being a show that exposes that wrestling is choreographed, and how the wrestlers pull off the moves.

In many ways, the show mocks pro wrestling- after all a bunch of losers with no athletic skill were able to work a (basic) match together after some training (because the show was heavily edited, I had no idea how long the training was- possibly weeks).

Anyway, inside wrestling fans such as myself know that Beefcake, Hart, and Knobbs are Hogan lackeys and kiss ups. Bischoff burned so many bridges that this is all he has left. They all deserve each other. Inside fans also know that Beefcake and Knobbs never had any skills and have no business training anyone.

The three judges graded the contestants on technical ability and showmanship, and at the end of the show voted off Tiffany, although Todd Bridges (Enneagram Type 9) was in danger, too.

If there was anything positive about the contestants, I was impressed with Bonaduce’s intensity in the ring. But like most reality shows featuring “celebrities”, it was painful to watch these people. But a job is a job, right?

Pass.

Posted in Review, entertainment, wrestling | 14 Comments »

Review: The Rock Says…by Dwayne Johnson

Released in 2001 after the success of Mick Foley’s pro wrestling industry shaking “Have a Nice Day“, “The Rock Says” falls short in many ways, but it is a good biographical and personality sketch of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

The Good

• Childhood upbringing and family. His father is Rocky Johnson and his grandfather was Peter Maiva, so he comes from a weird and traveling wrestling family.
• He was bad in school, and a jock in college. He was recruited, and tried to make it with the Miami Hurricanes.
• Described the lowest point in his life (getting cut from the CFL), and how he crawled out of it.
• Generally entertaining book.
• Johnson admits wrestling is pre-determined, and writes a little about inside stuff.

The Bad

• Ghost writer Joe Layden.
• Sponsored by Vince McMahon.
• Details are non-existent with his 6-month pre-WWF career in Memphis, when he was called Flex Kavana in Jerry Lawler’s wrestling league.
• Whereas the ghost writer was able to make things interesting with the Rock’s pre-WWF life, it went downhill once he joined the WWF.
• He praises Steve Austin, Bret Hart, the late Owen Hart, Undertaker, Pat Patterson, Jim Ross, and Vince McMahon, and only hints that he had some problem with Shawn Michaels, but otherwise there is NO trash-talking or inside accounts about his behind-the-scenes relationships. In fact, if you take his words literally, there is hardly any mention that politics play a major part in the locker room.
• Too politically correct, and edited. I hope one day we can find out his real thoughts on Vince McMahon and The Clique.

The Ugly

• Pretty bad when you resort into going back into character in an autobiography: The ghost writer actually has random chapters where he writes like The Rock in the 3rd person describing the matches and pay per views as they were real. It reads like an old Pro Wrestling Illustrated magazine where wrestling was pitched as real.
• Dwayne’s jock sex life: not a role model.
• When this was released in 2001, I passed on it because The Rock was still in his prime and was only in the business around 3-4 years. I don’t believe you should write an autobiography being so new to the wrestling business. I was right.

Final Conclusion:

There’s a reason why I waited 7 years to read this. Pass.

Dwayne Johnson’s Personality:

Dwayne is an Enneagram Personality Type 3w2.

He is very confident, has a big ego, but also knows his role and has respect for people. He has the utmost love for his family and friends whom he feels comfortable with. Single child. He enjoys the male bonding of wrestlers who are professional and know it’s a business. He doesn’t have the best technical skills, but is the smoothest talker and has the looks to rise to the top of any entertainment profession.

He was always bigger than other kids, and wasn’t a good student. He had a violent streak, and like most Samoan families, his parents had to discipline him hard. He gives respect and demands respect. Like Ric Flair (3w2), he didn’t mind losing to other wrestlers, whereas Hulk Hogan (3) took it personally and wanted something in return.

Unlike many straight Type 3’s that tend to manipulate, lie, and plan crazy scenarios, he doesn’t do any of that. He’s actually down to earth, although a little selfish at times (this is the Type 2 aspect of him). He really is a fan of wrestling and football. Frankly, he doesn’t have the intelligence to be a mastermind anyway- he’s more of a fun-loving cool jock you would envy in school.

It is easy to blur Dwayne Johnson and “The Rock” character, and I hope he is able to keep those two personas separated, something Ric Flair was unable to do with “The Nature Boy”.

A lot of things have happened with Dwayne since 2001. First of all, he’s a movie star and out of the wrestling business. Secondly, he and his Cuban wife divorced. Many fans and wrestlers think he “sold out”, but when reading the book, I saw the signs:

1) He only got into wrestling because he failed as a pro football player in the Canadian Football League.
2) He had 0 dollars in the bank (his dad lost a lot of his own money after the business ate him alive after 20+ years).
3) Like many Two’s he likes new and interesting things. Like many Two’s, I imagine he prefers making 1-2 movies a year than to travel and work 300+ days in the WWE.
4) Regarding the divorce: he met his future wife in Miami when he was 18 and she was 21. Dwayne liked and got girls since he was 10. I don’t think we need to guess what happened in their marriage.

Posted in Review, books, wrestling | 1 Comment »

Negative Message Boards

Former WCW professional wrestler Disco Inferno was on Main Event Radio and had this to say about Internet message board fans:

All Internet wrestling fans are basically critics. You don’t see a lot of praise online. Not even only wrestling forums, but you look at political forums, sports forums, any type of message boards and it just breathes a very negative atmosphere. I’m convinced that what people do is that they cut promos against each other. A message board or forum is a free way to go online and basically argue and cut promos on each other. The problem that I have is that some of the ideas that people talk about online have a snowball effect and so many people start writing about them that they become fact. To me, they become erroneous facts.

The fact is…he’s right. I have a lot of hobbies (probably too many), and every time I go on a message board forum or blog (including my own), I see some similar themes and patterns:

1) There are apologists and bootlickers who support the website administration.
2) There are posters full of hate, anger, and frustration.
3) They usually get into illogical “SHOUTING” debates with the apologists.
4) No one actually wins these “arguments”.
5) The “facts” are all wrong, and generally change as you keep reading a thread.
6) Tony Vahl and Damian Hospital believe that most of the posters are sock puppets.
7) Being anonymous is an addictive feeling, and leads to people to be impolite, sarcastic, and mean. The person that rants, raves, and is “confrontational” online is teh same geek that can’t even look at you straight in the eye in real life.
Having an “online identity” HAS to be hazardous to one’s health.
9) The atmosphere is extremely negative.
10) If there is a positive thing about message boards, it’s that they easily unravel scams and tear apart conventional or mainstream thinking: NOTHING and NO ONE is sacred from criticism. Although most of the time, it is unwarranted, occasionally it can be very helpful.
11) Another positive aspect is that people with similar interests can swap information and get questioned answered very quickly, and it’s a great place for like minds to stroke each other’s ego. However, back in my day, people did this in “real life”. We as a society are headed down the road (or may already be there) where human interact becomes secondary.

Posted in LME, rant, society, technology, wrestling | 1 Comment »

Hulk Hogan Jail Phone Call Recorded (Nick Hogan Prison Call)

“I’m working you marks!”

First, here are my previous posts about the Hulk Hogan jail phone call drama:

Nick Hogan Jail Phone Call Recorded
Latest Hulk Hogan Jail Phone Call

I’ve been getting a lot of e-mails about what secret language Hulk Hogan was speaking to his son for the latest prison phone call.

Carny slang was used back in the day because circus performers were always tricking paying customers. This was later carried on to professional wrestling, which started at carnivals, and kayfabe was created. Some carnies use something that sounds like pig-Latin (by adding iz or -erza in between syllables) too. Hogan KNOWS you can find this out. For those of you who are trying to decode what Hogan says, here is an edited list of carny slang:

* Agent – Operator of a joint.
* Alibi – A technique used where the player has apparently won the game, but is denied a prize when the jointee invents a further, unforeseeable, condition of the game. For example, a player may be disqualified on the grounds of having leaned over a previously undisclosed “foul line.”
* Bally – A free performance intended to attract both tips and visitors to the nearby sideshow.
* Blow – Cocaine
* Blow Off – Rush of customers out of an exhibition.
* Bone yard – Place at which employees stay when not working.
* Burn the lot – To cheat players with little or no attempt to conceal the subterfuge, in the carny’s expectation that the same town will not be visited again.
* Butcher – A carnie that will take every penny from a mark by confusing them and then forcing them to pay
* Call – The act of yelling out slogans and interacting with passers-by to attract business.
* Circus “jump” – Term used to describe the need to tear down, drive, set up and work in another town, the very next day.
* Donniker – Bathroom
* Flat – A game that is rigged so that you cannot win. Illegal in most states.
* Flash – To make your joint look ready for business. To make it look “flashy”
* Forty Miler – A greenie who is willing to travel, but only short distances from their home base. Also used to describe anyone or anything that is perceived to be fake or phony.
* Gaff – To rig a game so as to make it unwinnable
* Green Help – Employees hired at a new location that are only temporary (a.k.a. greenies).
* Hammer-Squash – Used to describe an individual as dumb or stupid (used interchangeably with Larry when used to describe a person).
* Hey, Rube! – An exclamation used to summon help by a carny in trouble, either from police or disgruntled players.
* Ikey Heyman – A wheel of fortune that can be secretly braked by the carny
* -iz or -erza – Inserted between the syllables of words to serve as a cipher or cryptolect.
* Key To The Midway – An object a carnival worker will ask a younger customer (or new initiate) for when asked for a free game or prize. The idea is that the ‘mooch’ will go onto the next game and ask for a “Key To The Midway”, only to find out that this new carny has one, but can only give it up for some other far fetched item. Examples of such items include: A cordless extension cord, a solar-powered flash light, an underwater lighter, tack glue, a left handed screwdriver, light bulb grease, purple fuzzy tape, glass hammer etc. The idea is to have fun at the customer’s naivety.
* The Kitty – Budgeted amount of finance, regulated by the management of a carnival for purchasing food and supplies for its workers. (“We wanted a new tent, but there’s no more scratch in the kitty.”)
* Larry – Defective
* Loc(ation) – Location of a joint or ride as determined by the carnival manager. Usually laid out before set-up.
* Lot – The Lot is the carnival midway area where the rides & “joints” are set up
* Lot Lizard – Describes a carny (usually female) who has multiple sexual partners (also carnys) Or one who tends to “sleep-around” or cheat with other carnys on the lot.
* Mark – A target for swindling, especially one whose gullibility has been demonstrated. Derived from the covert use of chalk to mark the backs of especially ripe targets. The term has entered the popular lexicon, usually as “easy mark.”
* Midway – Center strip of the carnival where the games or rides are located.
* Money
ace ($1)
fin ($5)
sawbuck/saw ($10)
double ($20)
half-yard ($50)
yard or c-note ($100)
large or K ($1000)
* Mooch – An individual who asks for a free game or prize. It is also used to describe someone who watches others play, but does not play themselves or asks a lot of questions with no intention of playing the game. Sometimes used as an insult between carnies to connote cheapness.
* New – An insult used by carnies, against carnies (newbie). Used in instances where a carnival worker should know better, with the insulter asking “What are you, new?”
* The Nut – The sum total (in cash) of a performance, or group of performances. The nut (or kernel) is also sometimes used to refer to the basic operating expense of the joint (including the “patch”). To “make your nut” is to break even, anything beyond that is your profit (or tip).
* Oats – Stolen money from a concession.
* Patch money – Money used to induce police officers to turn a blind eye. Also known as juice or ice.
* Plush – Stuffed animals to be given away as prizes
* Poke – The Mark’s wallet is known as their Poke. When a carnie tries to see how much is in a marks wallet they “Peek their poke”
* Possum belly (sometimes possum gut) compartment under a truck or trailer
* Ride jock (or jockey) – Someone who operates the carnival rides (vs. jointee).
* Rousty or Roustabout – A temporary or full-time laborer who helps pitch concessions and assemble rides.
* Scratch – The revenue from a concession, or money in general.
* Score – Any scratch won by any means, fair or foul.
* Sharpie – The opposite of a mark: an experienced player who is wise to traditional carny scams and is skilled at the games themselves.
* Slough – Tear down your “joint”. Get it ready for the road.
* Slum – Stuff that makes you want to kill the person selling it to you. small cheap “stock”
* Speak the language – Used as a test to see if someone is really “with it”. Many carnies “qualify” outsiders by using the jargon. A string of jargon or carny-talk is spoken to determine if the other person understands.
* Spring – Open the carnival.
* Stick Joint – Homemade wooden or metal booth.
* Stock- Game prizes
* Straight – A game that is played by the rules
* Sugar Shack – A concession or food-stand that doubles as a front for drug commerce & trafficking.
* Store – Can mean any joint, but is usually used to refer to a “straight store” where there’s a winner every time. The store is basically selling stock, usually slum, for a handsome profit.
* Tip – Tip generally has two meanings, depending on who you’re talking to and where. Old-timers usually mean the crowd that gathers around a caller or mike-man to hear the spiel before the start of the next show, or the crowd that hangs around a joint, watching others play. A more general meaning is any scratch the agent wins from his game as in “I just won a real nice tip from that last mark”.
* Two-Way Joint – A game that can be quickly converted from a fixed, unwinnable game into a temporarily honest one when police officers come by.
* With it – A carny, to identify one another, as in “I’m with it”, or “Are you with it”? (With the show).

For those of you who want to learn about pro wrestling kayfabe slang, click this link.

Posted in wrestling | No Comments »

Latest Nick Hogan Jail Phone Call

The Hogan clan continues to sink in the general public’s eye. (Inside pro wrestling fans have already known all about Hulk Hogan behind the scenes.) Even Linda Hogan was wearing a indecent outfit to jail.

Here are some highlights from the latest jail phone call recordings:

Linda Hogan tells her son Nick that she’s suffering more than victim John Graziano’s mother:

“I knew him more than his own mother knew him. She has no other recourse than to be nasty and vindictive now… She’s not sad. She’s just acting angry like she wants the money. John never meant anything to her or Ed… I miss John and I miss you two. She’s not suffering, I am. She didn’t give two shits.”

Nick spoke to Hulk about meeting with an evaluator regarding a transfer:

“I’m not going to put on my court clothes, I’m going to come in my jumpsuit for the sympathetic factor.”

Hulk Hogan speaks about John the victim:

“Well, I don’t know what type of person John was or what he did to get himself in this situation,” I know he was pretty aggressive and used to yell at people and used to do stuff. For some reason, God laid some heavy shit on that kid, man. I don’t know what he was into.”

Nick responded:

“John was a negative person.”

Hulk and Nick discussed their plans for a reality show that would feature Nick attempting to bounce back following a stay in jail. Hulk proposes the name “The New Nick” and told that his son work on names. Nick says:

“I want to do it where I’ll make the most money.”

Hulk suggests that he, Eric Bischoff, and Jason Hervey will team up.

Recently, Hogan and Nick spoke in “carny” a secret pig-Latin language to fool the MEDIA.

Posted in Crime, entertainment, wrestling | No Comments »

Bobby Eaton Heart Attack: Wrestling Tribute

Just wanted to post about a true professional inside and outside of the professional wrestling ring- Beautiful Bobby Eaton, most famous for being part of one of the greatest NWA tag teams, the Midnight Express.

Eaton had a heart attack recently, and is recovering. He also had some heart complications in 2006. He’s only 49 years old. Let’s hope for a nice recovery. Bobby took a lot of bumps and bruises in his career to please fans.

Eaton had ring psychology, mat skills, and was one of the best tag team wrestlers ever. Because he hardly spoke on the microphone, and wasn’t muscle-bound, he spent most of his career carrying others and being a role player; he never had any complaints about that.

Although he was mostly a heel (bad guy) in the ring, he is rated by his peers as being a generous and nice family man in the locker room and on road trips.

Eaton had paid his dues when he first entered the wrestling world. Born in Hunstville, Alabama and trained by the legendary Tojo Yamamoto, he wrestled in NWA Mid-America (a small time league) from 1976 to 1980. Although he was 17 and a “jobber” (guy who loses a lot), he quickly trained more experience wrestlers, had a great work ethic, and his in-ring athleticism and showmanship was obvious. (Eaton climbed to the top rope, which was rare back then). Eaton started off as face (good guy).

Eaton had feuded with future Fabulous Freebirds Buddy Roberts, Michael Hayes, and Terry Gordy, fought the future Honky Tonk Man (Wayne Ferris) and teamed with a variety of partners, including Lanny Poffo, Randy Savage’s brother. His feud with Chris Colt was legendary in that territory, and included Eaton turning heel, and back to face again.

1980 saw Eaton wrestle in Georgia, and then CWA in Memphis, Tennessee, which was a wrestling hotbed then. As a heel, he teamed with Koko B. Ware (then known as Sweet Brown Sugar), and was managed by Jimmy Hart. This team (The New Wave) was ahead of its time because they were heels who used death defying agile moves, and created new combo moves. Eaton and Koko then had a bloody feud with each other. They eventually teamed up again. During his CWA days, he teamed with, or fought against, the Moondogs, Fabulous Ones (Stan Lane and Steve Keirn), Dennis Condrey (rival), and Jerry “The King Lawler.

Eaton went to promoter Bill Watts’ Mid South wrestling, a very tough and exciting league. Manager Jim Cornette had a three-man heel stable named The Midnight Express (Dennis Cordrey, Randy Rose, and Norvell Austin). Eventually, Eaton and Condrey became The Midnight Express exclusively under Cornette, their mouthpiece. The Midnight Express had memorable, violent, and wild feuds with Magnum T.A. and Mr. Wrestling II, The Fantastics (Tommy Rogers and Bobby Fulton), and began a decades-long feud with the Rock & Roll Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson).

Eaton became famous on a more national stage in 1985 when The Midnight Express and Cornette joined the NWA’s most famous promotion (run by Jim Crockett), which was broadcasted on TBS and nationwide local affiliates. The first two years, the Express had high-quality matches against the New Breed (Sean Royal & Chris Champion), the Rock & Roll Express, and the most famous tag team of all time, The Road Warriors (Hawk & Animal).

In 1987, Condrey quit, and was replaced by Stan Lane. This version of the Midnight Express actually was more successful and more famous. This run was the peak of Eaton’s career. In 1988, although they were brutal heels, were managed by the most hated manager in the NWA, and attacked such fan favorites as Dusty Rhodes, The Fanastics, Rock & Roll Express, and Ronnie Garvin, they were being cheered by audiences. They beat heel rivals Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson (the Four Horseman), while fans cheered. In late 1988, the Express finally turned face in a match against the Road Warriors, in which the Warriors turned heel.

They feuded with “The Original Midnight Express” (the returning Dennis Condrey and Randy Rose), who were managed by Paul E. Dangerously. Lane, Eaton, and Cornette left NWA around the time when Ted Turner bought it over and renamed it WCW.

They returned and feuded with the Dynamic Dudes (Shane Douglas & Johnny Ace), Brian Pillman and Tom Zenk, and the Steiner Brothers. Many experts say the Express were no longer considered one of the best anymore, and due to behind-the-scenes politcs, Cornette and Lane left WCW in October 1990, while Bobby stayed.

Bobby was left alone, and became a singles wrestler. The bookers did not give him a push, and he was a lower midcarder, just pretty much having solid matches that no one cared about. He had no manager or microphone time.

He turned face, and was finally given a slight push, having excellent matches with Arn Anderson, Ric Flair, Ricky Morton, Mike Rotundo, Terry Taylor, and Steve Austin.

In 1991-1992, he turned heel, and joined the dominate stable The Dangerous Alliance, lead by Paul E. Dangerously. He teamed with Arn Anderson, and was a stable member with Rick Rude, Larry Zbyszko, and Steve Austin. After Paul E. left WCW in late 1992, Arn and Bobby were managed by Michael Hayes. New head booker Bill Watts fired Eaton to cut costs.

Eaton was hired and managed by Jim Cornette to wrestle in (SMW) Smokey Mountain. Eaton joined the Heavenly Bodies (Stan Lane & Tom Prichard). After Bill Watts was fired in WCW, Eric Bischoff rehired Eaton, and paired him with youngster Chris Benoit. Although they had the best technical skill of any team at the time in WCW, and had super-quality matches, they were lower midcard, never had interviews or videos, and hardly ever won. Benoit went to Japan, and Eaton was teamed with former rival and former partner of Stan Lane, Steve Keirn around 1994. They became jobbers as well.

In 1996, he was in comedy sketches with Lord Steven Regal. They were called The Blue Bloods, and were joined by Squire David Taylor. They were funny and technical wrestlers (yet boring) heels, and wrestled at the lower midcard. In 1997, he turned on them, and was never in any storylines anymore. He became a backstage road agent, jobber, and trainer until 2000, after he was laid off. He wrestled at independent shows.

In 2003, he formed the short-lived New Midnight Express with independent wrestler Ricky Nelson. Eventually, Eaton reunited with Lane (sometimes) and Condrey (a lot). Eaton made one appearance on TNA, where he jobbed out to Kid Kash.

Major Titles Held

• NWA United States Tag Team Championship (3 times) – with Stan Lane
• NWA World Tag Team Championship (2 times) – with Dennis Condrey and Stan Lane
• WCW World Tag Team Championship – with Arn Anderson
• WCW World Television Championship
• NWA Georgia Television Championship
• AWA Southern Tag Team Championship (4 times) – with Sweet Brown Sugar (2) and Duke Myers (2)
• CWA World Heavyweight Championship
• NWA American Tag Team Championship – with Dennis Condrey
• NWA Mid-America Heavyweight Championship (11 times)
• NWA Mid-America Tag Team Championship (7 times) – with Lanny Poffo, George Gulas (3), Mexican Angel, and Great Togo
• NWA Six-Man Tag Team Championship (4 times) – with George Gulas and Jerry Barber , George Gulas and Arvil Hutto George Gulos and The Mexican Angel, and Secret Weapon and Tojo Yamamoto
• NWA Mid-America Television Championship
• Mid-South Tag Team Championship (2 times) – with Dennis Condrey

Posted in tribute, wrestling | 1 Comment »

Hulk Hogan’s son, Nick Hogan, sentented to prison

For those of you who do not follow the world of professional wrestling, 17-year-old Nick Hogan was DUI and drag racing (although he denied it) back in August, and left his best friend critically injured. Hulk Hogan tried everything in his power to get the MEDIA on his side, pay off the victim’s parents, and may have been at the scene to try and cover up evidence.

Ultimately, Nick, who actually got speeding tickets previously (and according to some reports, he got a ticket that night), was sentenced to:

• 8 months hard time
• DUI school as soon as he’s released from prison
• 5 years probation, which includes a no-alcohol condition
• 500 hours community service

Does Nick deserve this? Yes. This sentence is normal, especially since he had a poor traffic record, which both of his parents tried to downplay. With Hulk away for most of his upbringing, and his mother being a ditz, Nick has gotten away with a lot of stuff, and it’s about time it caught up with him. He truly is a spoiled brat, not smart, and his parents have been enabling this behavior for his entire life.

Let’s hope he learns his lesson.

Posted in Crime, wrestling | 4 Comments »

WWE Obama Raw Rock

Told ya.

DailySkew had reported The Rock = Barack Obama.

Last night on WWE Monday Night RAW, the brains behind pro wrestling, Vince McMahon revealed this secret to the entire world.

The Thought Police will be taking this video down soon, so be sure to watch it quickly:

Told ya.

Posted in wrestling | 3 Comments »

Obama and The Rock

Frequent DailySkew poster R.A.W. asked the question:

Why do you keep showing pictures of “The Rock” [Dwayne Johnson] that accompany articles about Obama? what gives? you’re confusing everybody. if the rock and obama are involved in some sort of web of conspiracy together, then it is your duty as a “journalist” to tell the public what you know instead of using these subtle clues. (even if your life has been threatened because you know too much) the public has a right to know the TRUTH….

SO..without FURTHER ADO..

I bring you-

THE ROCK and OBAMA

CLOSE YOUR EYES, and LISTEN:

In addition to voice parallels, also consider:

1) High charisma (humor, aggressive, looks)
2) High peak value, relatively short careers, as opposed to long careers like George Bush I or Ric Flair
3) They like cute catch phrases for crowd reactions
4) Fantastic actors
5) The Rock called himself The People’s Champion
6) The Rock’s family is mixed ancestry, like Obama’s
7) Both have ties to the South Pacific
Both are VERY determined
9) They both have egos but keep them in check by being productive
10) The ladies love them
11) They love to taunt and insult rivals with wit, and maintain control
12) The Rock was THE FIRST black WWF World Champion, Obama can the be first…
13) The Rock was not the best technically gifted wrestler in terms of in-ring skill, but he sure was POPULAR with fans and ratings.
14) Obama became a “made man” when he gave his first inspiration speech about the future, change, and hope at the Senate. The Rock was put on the map when he changed his character, and was finally given permission to give his own speech, which reflected his true attitude and feelings, on Monday Night Raw.

Posted in Obama, politics, wrestling | 5 Comments »

"12 Rounds" John Cena’s Next WWE Movie Bomb

WWE announced: “Detective Danny Baxter [John Cena] is about to have the worst day of his life when an evil crime lord kidnaps his girlfriend and forces him to go ‘12 Rounds’ around the streets of New Orleans”.

Well sounds like another WWE movie bomb. Vince McMahon should just stick to what he does best- wrestling. Granted these movies make a lot in DVD sales, but a lot of money goes into movie budget, filming, salaries, and distribution. Making a Hollywood movie is not cheap or easy. Let’s take a look how previous WWE Films went:

See No Evil, starring Kane: $15,019,200 box office, $16,490,000 rentals
Rotten Tomatoes: 8% critics, 31% fans

The Marine, starring John Cena: $18,719,747 box office, $30,020,000 rentals
Rotten Tomatoes: 21% critics, 29% fans

The Condemned, starring Stone Cold Steve Austin: $7,327,940 box office, $22,300,000 rentals
Rotten Tomatoes: 15% critics, 47% fans

Looks pretty bad in terms of critical review, fans’ input, and box office. However, it seems pretty clear thanks to WWE’s DVD production, that they make all of their money with that. Depending on their movie budget and the other costs, it seems that if you consider DVDs, rentals, and T-shirts, WWE could actually be making a profit on these bombs.

Here was the trailer for “See No Evil”:

Posted in entertainment, wrestling | 5 Comments »

2007 Pro Wrestling Memoriam

2007 Pro Wrestling Memoriam

Wrestling Halls of Fame, Internet shrines, legends reunions, newsletters, magazines, streaming videos, and DVDs all try to recognize the achievements of the workers who contributed to the industry. Due to the nature of the business, past accomplishments are forgotten. Here are my very brief personal thoughts about the wrestling deaths that occurred in 2007. Rest in peace, everyone.

Phil “Flash” Barker- A great old-school British scientific grappler. Was still in the industry as a referee for independent shows. Had some famous battles in England back in the day. I never saw his matches, and he was never mentioned in WWE.

“Cowboy” Lang- Former Midget’s World Champion and star; wrestled from the 1960’s to 1990’s.

Cocoa Samoa- Broke in the late 1970’s in southern promotions. Was once billed as Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka’s brother. Also called himself Sabu the Wildman (before the current Sabu). Had a great feud with Jerry “The King” Lawler in Memphis. Never made it big.

Bam Bam Bigelow- The first “mainstream” wrestler death in 2007. He seemed so alive when he was active in the Mid-South, AWA, WWF, NWA, and ECW. Bigelow was arguable the most agile big-man in modern times (Big Van Vader and the late Big Bossman were also agile for heavyweights). I took Bigelow to be a serious contender in the WWF during his first brief stint there (only 1987-1988, can you believe that???); he was pushed for a while and was awfully popular before he abruptly left. He was one of the top faces (“good” guys) during this period (most big brutes were heels- bad guys). His ECW run (1996-7) was memorable. He also made a return to the WWF and had a huge paying WrestleMania Main Event vs Lawrence Taylor. Bigelow ran into personal problems in Florida after he retired, and his death was suspicious and was way too young to die. He was addicted to pain killers, cocaine, and anti-anxiety drugs.

Mike Awesome- The former ECW World Champion hanged himself in his Florida home. He had to retire due to injuries, and hit his wife. He was suffering depression and took his life. Mike was big, tall, and strong, and in addition to his monster ECW push, wrestled in WCW, WWF, and Japan. I never really liked his character that much, since he dominated opponents, but I did respect his size and hardcore matches.

Ray Stern- Ray was an old-time wrestler born in Brooklyn, but made a name for himself on the West Coast with his high-flying maneuvers. A rag-to-riches story, he was famous in other endeavors as well. He was inducted into the Pro Wrestling Hall of Fame (the one that recognizes skill).

Bad News Brown- One of the toughest SOB’s ever. He was already famous in Japan and Canada before coming to the WWF. I was very impressed with his mainstream run in the WWF, although he brawled to double-disqualifications too much. One of the first workers to be a “tweener”- a cross between a face and a heel. Bad News didn’t like to “sell” his opponents moves, since he believed himself to be a legitimately superior athlete due to his martial arts training. He was the only wrestler to actually challenge Andre the Giant outside of the ring, after Andre made a joke about African Americans. He had legitimate heat with Bret “Hitman” Hart, as chronicled in Bret’s autobiography.

Black Shadow- His match with El Santo in 1952 is considered by many to be the most famous match in Latin American history.

Ernie “The Big Cat” Ladd- Former pro football player turned to wrestling in the 1960’s. He was tough as nails, and was one of the first African Americans to enjoy acting as a villain during this era. Immensely popular, this giant of a man drew a lot of money thanks to his charisma and look. He was very famous. He feuds with Bob Backlund, Andre the Giant, and the Junkyard Dog are legendary. He lived long enough to be inducted into the WWF Hall of Fame.

Arnold Skaaland- The famous manager of WWWF champions Bruno Sammartino and Bob Backlund, he was a WWWF-lifer (thanks to being a shareholder with Vince Senior). Actually famous (or infamous) for throwing in the white towel causing Backlund to “quit” under the Iron Shiek’s “unbreakable” Camel Clutch. This lead to the Birth of Hulkamania, as Hogan squashed the Shiek after shaking out of the Clutch. Skaaland was a good guy manager He was inducted in the WWF Hall of Fame in 1994, and to finally tie up the loose unresolved plot line, Backlund turned heel and attached Arnold that year. I remember Arnold as being the quiet and highly respected “adviser” to Backlund and old footage of him with Bruno in the 1970’s. He rarely interfered or did anything to steal the spotlight from them.

Abe Coleman- “Hebrew Hercules” wrestled in 2000 matches, mostly a mid-carder for regional promotions around the world. He had a famous bought against Golden Age master Jim Londos in Mexico City.

Sonny Myers- Mostly known for his various NWA championships in the 1940’s. He was involved in the industry for over 60 years, as a trainer and backstage worker.

Sandy Barr- The only U.S. promoter from back in the day to actually took care of his wrestlers by paying them as promised. He was in the Pacific Northwest, and trained Doink the Clown and Jimmy Jack Funk, among others. He also was a referee and booker.

Sensational Sherri Martel- I was shocked when the best female valet of all time died at such a young age. Sherri was one of the few valets to actually adapt to the gimmick and style of her man. For example, when she managed “Macho King” Randy Savage, she became “Queen Sherri”; she was “Peggy Sue” when coupled with The Honky Tonk Man; “Sister Sherri” with Harlem Heat, etc. She sang the vocals for Shawn Michaels’ “Boy-Toy” song when she managed him. She also managed such stars as Ted DiBiase, Ric Flair in WCW, and Shane Douglas in ECW, She was a great female wrestler with the AWA, trained by the Fabulous Moolah. She was very wild and charismatic. She partied hard- drugs and alcohol, and I guess it caught up to her in the end. Although she always played the witch, I liked her because she put her body on the line to save her man in the ring, unlike other women back then who did not take any bumps.

Biff Wellington- A minor Canadian wrestler who debuted in 1989, now known for being an occasional tag team partner of Chris Benoit. Had a brief stay in ECW in 1996, where his eye was injured while fighting Taz. He retired and became addicted to pills. He died young, and had numerous strokes.

Woman- Strikingly attractive valet in the 1980’s Florida (“Fallen Angel”) with Kevin Sullivan. She was part of Sullivan’s entourage of “Satanists”. They married in 1985. Thanks to her friendship with wrestling photographer, Woman was plastered all over the magazines in the 1980’s, which is how I first saw her when I was a kid. She had a great feud in WCW with the Steiner Brothers and Doom. She had a great run in ECW with The Sandman and Raven. Also managed The Four Horseman and Randy Savage in WCW. She met future husband Chris Benoit in WCW. She was murdered by Benoit.

Chris Benoit- Chris was a small yet tough Canadian, with runs in Japan, Canada, ECW, and around the world, as the man with the death-defying moves. He may have been short, but his physical stamina, aerial moves, mat work, and hardcore brawling were superior than 99% of the wrestlers of the modern era. He had to pay his dues, and since his microphone skills and charisma were low, many promoters did not push him into the Main Event picture. In fact, although he was part of a later-version of The Four Horseman in WCW, Benoit was delegated to the lower-midcard for his WCW career, under Eric Bischoff. He finally became a made man in WWF, since the fans loved his intensity and attitude. He finally got his break in the WWF by winning the Royal Rumble, and the WWE World Championship at WrestleMania. He held numerous titles in the WWF, and was one of the most respected wrestlers in the business. Chris killed his wife and son, before committing suicide. This travesty caused the MEDIA to investigate the wrestling industry, and hopefully there will be reform, since many workers need to take steroids and illegal drugs to work the tough schedules and to keep their positions. I personally followed and respected both Benoit and Woman’s careers, and can’t understand why he’d kill her and his son.

John Kronus- Known for his cult ECW run with Perry Saturn, “The Eliminators”. Kronus was a hardcore daredevil. He was very popular with the Philadelphia crowd at the ECW arena. I thought he was VERY hardcore, with his aerial moves and tables and chairs. He had a brief opening act with WCW. He died of an enlarged heart at a very young age.

Ronnie Gossett- Famous southern manager, who worked with such Memphis legends as Jerry “The King” Lawler, Jimmy Hart, Percy Pringle III (Paul Bearer), Jeff Jarrett, and anyone else who passed through that territory.

Tor Kamata: Great 1970’s “foreign heel” who had a memorable program with WWWF Bob Backlund, and was managed by Freddie Blassie.

Karl Gotch: Called “The god of Pro Wrestling” in Japan, he worked with and trained Japanese superstars, and was revolutionary in the purosu-style of athletic wrestling as opposed to the Western “entertainment” products. When people mention in-ring technical legends, they tend to forget about him because his influence was in Japan, not the United States. Suffice to day, he was in Lou Thesz’s class.

Bronko Lubich: Solid tag team wrestler in the 1950’s-60’s, who became more known as one of the legendary referees in World Class in Texas. Truly a Hall of Fame referee.

Dewey Robertson: Best known for portraying the Missing Link in the 1980’s in the Mid-South, Texas, and the WWF. The Missing Link was like George The Animal Steele. Ultimately, Dewey’s drug lifestyle may have created the means for his to have cancer, but we’ll never know.

Posted in steroids, tribute, wrestling | 2 Comments »

DailySkew’s 2007 Year in Review

2007 Skew Review
Damian Hospital 12-31-2007

Going into 2007, Tony Vahl and I had high expectations that the Year of the Pig would be a year of chaos and unpredictability. Sure enough, we were correct. Below is a list of some events from 2007:

Politics

• The battle for Presidential nomination started at the earliest point ever. Candidates have been using the Internet more than ever to spread their message, and live debates gave YouTube all the recognition and validity it needed to be an instant way to reach out to the people.
• New Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi sure set expectations high that the Democrats would put this nation back on course after taking over Congress.
• Senator Larry Craig got busted in a men’s restroom, and denied making homosexual advances to an undercover policeman. Former male prostitutes or other men Larry came onto in the past have since come out, to verify that he is gay, but Larry stands firm that it was all a misunderstanding.
• President George W. Bush: his popularity is the lowest for any president, and many senior advisers resigned from his administration. I will not waste anymore space talking about all the things GW and his cronies did this year.

Crime

• Shootings grabbed headlines- from Virgina Tech to children’s school to a mall. In all cases, the Internet played a key as a forum for the killers’ rants. And the MEDIA had a field day with it.
• The MEDIA still focused and gave way too much attention to missing persons and alleged kidnappings for certain families. The MEDIA has continued to pick-and-choose who gets the coverage. MEANWHILE, thousands of others never get MEDIA attention because they are not marketable enough.
• O.J. Part II.
• Craigslist and MySpace’s murder, rape, kidnapping, and prostitution rates have increased.

Global

• China has been accidentally poisoning and exporting toys and dog food to the United States.
• China has been testing long-range missiles, and space weapons.
• China continues to execute government officials and dissenters.
• The military regime in Myanmar severely beat and arrested protesters, many of them monks. The world shrugs.
• The President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, continued to have a pissing contest with the West over its right to harness and produce nuclear energy. He had threated to destroy Israel several times, but always denies it when speaking to Western reporters. His public Iranian speeches always contain his threats that he would destroy the West, but he seems to change his tune when talking to the U.N.
• An earthquake in Japan released 300 gallons of radioactive water into the sea. Can Godzilla be far behind, now?
• Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize and two Oscars for spreading the word about the dangers of Global Warming.
• Pakistan’s President Pervez Musharraf was forced to step down as military leader, but was sworn in as a civilian president. He has been losing control all year.
• The death tolls and unrest due to the war in Iraq has increased.
• Bombings in Iraq and Israel are commonplace.
• Boris Yelstin passed away.
• So did Jerry Falwell, Lady Bird Johnson, Tammy Faye Bakker, Ingmar Bergmann, Tom Synder, Bill Walsh, Hank Bauer, Joel Siegel, Clete Boyer, Phil Rizzuto, Merv Griffin, Leona Helmsley, Richard Jewell, Pavarotti, Jane Wyman, Norman Mailer, Evel Knievel, and millions more.
• War in Somalia: And still going…
• Hong Kong continued to create laws to be environmentally-friendly, now that it is a economic superpower.
• Doomsday Clock was set to 5 minutes to midnight. Alan Moore smiles.
• Microsoft released Vista and became under fire for forcing this operating system on all new Dells and other computers instead of Windows XP or a “blank” system.
• Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez was granted the power to rule by decree, publicly attacked capitalism and democracy, allied with Cuba and Iran, and unsuccessfully tried to rewrite the constitution.
• Russian leader Vladamir Putin has been headed back to his KGB roots…
• Osama still releases video tapes.
• British leader Tony Blair resigned.
• The Euro is worth more than the U.S. dollar.
• Military police in Brasil massacred a bunch of criminals.
• Greece was plagued with heatwaves and fires.
• Apple’s IPhone took the world by storm.
• Dubai is the in-vogue place to invest in real estate and visit- just don’t commit any crimes there…or get raped.
• Former Pakistani Prime Minister Bhutto was assassinated.

Pop Culture

• Harry Potter is still hot.
• Pirates of the Caribbean is a FRANCHISE.
• Ana Nicole Smith…why did her death get so much MEDIA attention?
• American Idol took a major hit in ratings and relevancy. So did most TV shows.
• The music recording industry has turned to the Internet to try and make profits, after experiencing record lows in CD sales.
• Network television has been offering free TV shows online for the same reasons.
• Spider-Man 3 grossed a world-wide total of $890,871,626, yet other Marvel movies (Ghost Rider, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Surfer) weren’t as hot.
• Michael Moore’s Sicko opened a lot of eyes about the U.S. healthcare system.
• The Transformers live action movie made over $300,000,000 in the U.S. TMNT wasn’t even close.
• Don Imus was fired for making racial jokes on air.
• He eventually got a new show.
• Bob Barker retired from the Price is Right. Was replaced by Drew Carey.
• Led Zeppelin reunited.
• Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen still running strong.
• Britney Spears is officially recognized by the MEDIA as being done.

Comic Books

Marvel

• Winter Soldier (Bucky Barnes) is the new Captain America, after Steve Rogers was assassinated by Crossbones, who was hired by the Red Skull.
• With the world knowing that Peter Parker is Spider-Man, the Kingpin put a hit on Aunt May. With Aunt May dying, Peter made a deal with the Devil (Mephisto) to save her life. The deal: Peter’s marriage and memories of love for Mary Jane Watson would be erased from continuity. Mary Jane also makes a deal with the Devil to erase Spider-Man from ever removing his mask in public. So: everything is back to status quo. Harry Osborn (Green Goblin) is also back in this new Marvel time-line, since he would have never died if Peter and Marry got married.
• Tony Stark (Iron Man), who, for all intents and purposes, had been portrayed as a villain (George Bush style) in 2006, is now in charge of S.H.I.E.L.D., and has a movie coming out next year.

DC

• DC has continued to fill in details about it’s New Earth and New Multiverse. It is NOT the same as the old multiverse, and many fans are still confused, complain..but still buy the comics.
• The Anti-Monitor has returned, and former Green Lantern Kyle Raynor is Parallax.

Professional Wrestling

• John Cena was given a huge WWE Champion’s push for the most of the year, defeating all comers, but was sidelined with an injury. Women and kids love him; guys hate him.
• Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker are still Main Eventers.
• A week after Vince McMahon faked his own death for ratings, Chris Benoit killed his wife Nancy (former valet) and son, before committing suicide. This was the #1 pro wrestling story of the year.
• Other deaths: Bam Bam Bigelow, Bad News Brown, Ernie Ladd, Mike Awesome, Arnold Skaaland, John Cronus, and more….
• Keywords: Vince McMahon, Congress, steroids, MEDIA, drugs
• Hulk Hogan and his wife Linda filed for “divorce” after their son Nick got involved in a DUI, seriously injuring his friend, whose parents are suing the Hogans.
• Chris Jericho returned, after publishing his awesome autobiography.
• Bret Hart published his tell-all autobiography in Canada.
• The growing popularity of Mixed Martial Arts (UFC, K-1) is threatening WWE’s grip on the Pay-Per-View market and young male demographic.

United States

• A bridge collapsed during rush hour in a major city, and it was revealed that MOST of the nation’s infrastructure is POOR and ready to crumble.
• Race relations are still easily stirred in any case where the police uses force… or if any comedian makes a joke.
• Keywords: Wildfire, Malibu, rich folk, MEDIA
• $1.2 TRILLION dollars worth of property value decreased, and the number of home foreclosures DOUBLED from last year.
• Terrorist plots were prevented (thankfully).
• The Writer’s Guild goes on strike. TV shows goes on hiatus. Jay Leno can’t write his own material. Can we please get hired?

Sports

• Barry Bonds made history by breaking the all-time homerun record, and only the San Fransisco fans and a certain blog cared.
• Bonds was indicted on perjury.
• Football quarterback Michael Vick originally denied any wrongdoing in running a barbaric dog fighting venture, but finally plead guilty. He also killed dogs that didn’t fight well.
• Former Marlins closer U. Urbina was sentenced to 14 years in prison for murder in his home country.
• Tiger Woods won the PGA Championship.
• An NBA referee was caught betting on games.
• Marian Jones pleaded guilty to steroid use after denying it.
• The New York Mets had their biggest collapse.
• Yankees relief pitcher Joba Chamberlain became an overnight sensation, although flying ants ruined his moment.
• Roger Clemens’ return was overhyped, and didn’t translate into a ring.
• A-Rod was MVP.
• Red Sox win! Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Red Sox win the 2007 World Series over the Colorado Rockies.
• The Boss, George Steinbrenner, was revealed to be a non-entity. His son Hank took over, and proceeded to pay hardball with the team.
• Yankees manager Joe Torre quit, followed by bench coach Don Mattingly. Joe Giraldi was named new manager.
• The Mitchell Report reaffirmed that we live in a Grim Earth, as 88 players were named. Roger Clemens’ legacy is forever tainted.
• The New England Patriots finished 16-0.
• Former Yankees World Champion Jim Leyritz killed a woman while DUI.

Tashman Technologies (tm), a fictional universe

• After The Loyalist finally retired, he had achieved a dream…and then lived through a nightmare.
• The Lone Teleporter was killed, brought back for a one-shot cameo, and forgotten about.
• The Lobo Bros. disappeared.
• The Latino World Order invaded Tashman’s office, had a coup, and demanded “Fair Play and Fair Pay”. They got it.
• Tashman had its slowest year, and tensions were high, as backstabbing and cliques were solidified.
• Luthor lost everything.
• Third shift stopped for a while after V. quit when work was slow, and Raw went to 2nd shift.
• C.E.O. and Overmind had a major, final, career-threatening blowout in January, but things cooled off (mostly) for the rest of the year.
• Tashman’s main rival folded.
• Captain Fascist, Arse, Character Assassin, and Gazelle are still running strong in another company.
• The Fossil and The Stork are looking for work. So’s J.A.P.
• Mrs. Overmind celebrated her one-year Tashman anniversary.
• Overmind somehow survived nine.
• Phive was fired.
• Christmas party was BYOB.

Feel free to add your 2007 events in comments! And your predictions for 2008- The Year of the Rat.

Posted in Crime, MEDIA, Review, baseball, comics, deaths, entertainment, news, politics, society, steroids, tashman, technology, tribute, wrestling | 8 Comments »