I was a freshman at Boyd Anderson High School in 1991 (graduated in the Class of 95), and had Henry Milton (“Mr. Milton”) for History. He was Caucasian, very slim, tanned, had nice blondish/light-brown hair, liked his green vest sweater, and seemed to be of English descent. Although his gimmick was having a dry, poker face sense of humor, and made jokes like Jon Stewart, he was known to lay down the law, and had zero tolerance for immaturity. I was in the IB Program (International Bacculate) which was like AP classes on steroids- the coursework I was taking was light-years ahead of “regular” classes in Florida Broward County public schools. History was more than memorizing facts, and Mr. Milton encouraged analysis and discussion.
He did a great job in masking his own political views- he really kept students guessing about his own beliefs, because he was very objective. Looking back, Mr. Milton was probably an
Enneagram Type 4 (the Individualist), which is also my personally type. So I guess you can say I looked up to him (especially since I had no male role models in my life at the time).
I could tell Mr. Milton was pulling punches sometimes in 9th grade when it came to certain topics. When I had him for Theory of Knowledge (ToK) and an advanced History class when I was a Junior or Senior, he was able to explore topics that are generally were not handled in high school, such as the existence of God, religion, the Holocaust, nihilism, and existentialism. I could tell he was open-minded about Eastern religion, and wouldn’t be surprised if he had a Jesuit background.
I don’t claim to understand or have knowledge of a teacher’s curriculum, but I always wondered how Mr. Milton was able to get away with us watching all of Monty Python’s movies- not that I was complaining, of course. He also used Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes for coursework, and tied it in to some deep topic. Heck, that was a lot more useful than when I watched Terminator in English class in New York in 1989.
I always wondered why Mr. Milton worked at BA, because he acted like a college professor, and didn’t seem cliquish with the other teachers. I mean, why would such a learned and deep guy work in Lauderdale Lakes, Florida?
Although I was a huge fan of Mr. Milton, I’ve heard murmurs and gossip from students and teachers that he was mean or cold. I didn’t really see any of this in 9th grade, although I sensed he played favorites with those students who scored straight A’s on his exams and pop quizzes. He also allowed some students to play teacher’s pet, like the Englishman Ben Earnest-Jones (he had a unibrow and freckles, yet girls liked him). My best friend (I only had two friends in four years) who shall remain nameless was Indian, and he wasn’t a Mr. Milton fan, so I heard some criticism from him- basically that Milton played favorites. Milton also supported two openly gay students, which was a no-no with some of the more traditional teachers.
Although I would have liked to think I was a favorite of Milton’s because he allowed me access to use his classroom to eat my lunch (since no one would sit next to me in the lunch room- jeez, I was more of a pariah than Peter Parker) it never translated into higher grades with me. In fact, I was just one of a sea of thousands of students he saw. I doubt he even thinks of me, and certainly wouldn’t be writing a blog post about me.
I forget the exact year, but there was a cheating scandal in Mr. Milton’s History class. Basically, photocopies of all of his exams were tucked away in his unlocked closet. An Indian girl and white boy stumbled upon it during lunch, and I was trying to mind my own business among the empty seats. But they had found gold, and since I was a witness, they let me in on the secret. At that time I was getting 76’s, 82’s, 88’s and 90’s on my History exams- mediocre and disappointing grades for World History, but acing these tests could have put me back as a major player. The bottom line is that I didn’t have the focus to get the grades of my best friend or Adam Hickey or Meredith Grossman or others. Looking back, I was a sick misunderstood teenager with so much inner turmoil. I felt inadequate in my favorite class, and I wanted to please Mr. Milton, so I cheated.
You have to understand that for a nerd like me, that was a high crime, in fact most students thought it was illegal or at least worth a week suspension with parental notification. I got a 98 on the exam, and a 92 on the one after it. I was riding high until the cheaters were exposed by a rat. The ringleaders were punished, and they gave my name up.
Mr. Milton came in early when I was still alone in his classroom eating lunch (before his class started) and sat down at his desk. He let out a semi-humorous sigh, looked at me directly in the eye, and asked me straight up if I cheated. He said now that the ring leaders were caught I would not get punished; he just wanted to know. “No,” I lied. His lips were tight as he paused for what seemed like an eternity, and his eyes stared at me knowingly; so many emotions were going through me. “No, I didn’t see those exams,” I dug the lie further.
“Okay!” he quipped. “Just let me know if you see anything suspicious around here lunch time.”
And that was it.
Of course, my grades went back to the 80’s and it was fairly obvious I had cheated. The next year when I didn’t have him, we did smile to each other in the hallway, but he eventually avoided eye contact all-together and walked right passed me.
In other years, things were back to normal when I had him in Theory of Knowledge, and the cheating was never revisited. I was his student when he became “Dr. Milton”, and for some reason after he got his doctorate, the rumors were buzzing that he became a detached snob who demanded more money and was looking to move on. I know where this gossip came from- it was from a teacher who didn’t like his style. I believe he was at BA until at least 2004, however, so the facts support that he liked his run at BA.
There was one other embarrassing incident one year- it was in the Advanced History course I was taking. He allowed me to use his room for lunch again, and there were some incidents of vandalism inside the classroom. I was technically the prime suspect, but he gave me the benefit of the doubt, and I blamed it on a black gangsta named “T-Ractor” (a figment of my imagination) even though I did it. However, by then he ran out of patience for coincidences and locked up his classroom for lunch. So I ate my bag lunch sitting down in the hallway, back leaning against the grey wall.
All of the bad karma finally caught up with me after Boyd Anderson, a reporter went back to my high school for a biographical sketch for a human interest news article, and Dr. Milton gave an underwhelming statement that was neutral at best, and damning at face value. I remember that hurt when I read it, but I was used to the bad reviews by then. I know my mom wanted to go back there and yell for painting me in a bad light in a local human interest story, but I defended Milton. At least he wasn’t as bad as the other teachers, especially Dr. James Monroe, who buried me, even though we was much more warmer than Milton when I was student (Monroe would certainly say that he was “misquoted” or “taken out of context”). In later years, I would meet another two-faced Monroe-type at Tashman Technologies, by the name of Captain Software II.
Anyway, that’s my trip down memory lane. Hopefully this gives insight to somebody out there about…something.
VAHL’S INSTANT COMMENTS: Vahl-edictorian here (yeah, right):
That was an intense, ultra-realistic description of your teacher, as well as a confessional of deeds committed during formative years. I felt like I was a reading a chapter of L.I.A.M..
What an ebook that would be. The Amazon Kindles out there would live up to their name — those screens would melt.
I believe in L.I.A.M.! I’d buy it in a heartbeat!
It’s a lesson for book publishers! Sign up our man Damian!
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Dr. Milton sounds a lot like a history teacher I had at John Adams High School in Queens … he was the one who’d ask a question in class, and if one person would raise their hand, he’d say, “One lonely hand in a sea of ignorance.”
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I think Dr. Milton would BUY L.I.A.M.!
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As for cheating … I’ve told you the story about the year I was struggling in Chemistry class (terrible teacher — one of the few times I had a hard time passing a class) and the New York Post published the answers to the Chemistry Regents Exam answers on their front page as PROOF! of how easy it was to cheat.
Of course, when I heard the news, I bought the paper and studied.
It’s AMAZING how successful young students like us will succumb cheating when they encounter a tough class. I mean, it’s not like we were looking to cheat, but when the opportunity presented itself … we’re not talking traditional cheating; we’re talking stumbling upon the exam, or the exam printed on the front page of a newspaper!
Your story is definitely an early example of teenage L.M.E. (Lazy Man’s Ethics)!
Man … that Chemistry teacher I had was LOUSY. She was not a teacher … she was, like, some career Government worker who was WAAAAYYY past her prime. Looking back, I think she was a washed up scientist who the school hired to head their Math Science Institute simply because of her resume credentials. I think she was like that Brazilian QA Manager we had at Tashman who worked for IBM and had all those degrees.
Anyway, in my case, I think I was coincidentally given a big break the year I had a lousy teacher in Chemistry … as it turned out, we didn’t even have to take the Chemistry exam, so I didn’t get to cheat.
Thank you, New York Post. Long live, Rupert Murdoch!
