Sorry, the No Index, No Follow tags are (you'll need to add the opening and closing html operators): META NAME="ROBOTS" CONTENT="NOINDEX, FOLLOW"/ META NAME="GOOGLEBOT" CONTENT="NOINDEX, FOLLOW"/ Salut! […]
OK Damian, I have it working now. I also use Go Daddy, and Justin's "all in one" code also caused my server to crash, so it looks like a Go Daddy thing. I love Go Daddy though, the service is great, and this is no reason to switch (believe it or not, I also host over at Network Solutions) As for the fix: First, I did not put the rewrite code i […]
Man, thanks for the great review and info. I love that it could be argued that this movie is targeted at social workers and teachers who practice LaME. On a side-note: I hope to have that indexing turned around in 36 hours at the latest. Lots going on tomorrow. Moving furniture for wood floor dude Grandma hired for us (Christmas gift). […]
Thanks..I always wanted that comment follow-up plugin but always forget about it when I'm online. You'd think WordPress would have put that in their default code by now...How are you checking to see if it really redirects? Check Justin again and try to follow his steps. I think you may have got in too deep with the move and created a unique situati […]
At least it used to be. What the f- happened to my city? Where do I start? We used to have blue skies and green parks for the kids to play in. That all changed when Mr. burns brought in his life-choking, pollution belting, cancer plant. Sure, they said it would bring more jobs, but at what cost? He loves to squeeze da little guy.
Well Mr. burns, this time you’re gonna get the squeeze-like a colgate tube down to its last dollop-it’s not gonna take much for me to snuff out your greedy soul. And smithers-frollicking about town like this is Greenwich Village. I’m gonna slash his eyeballs with his own eyeglass lenses. Spreading your putrid rainbow message to our kids. Our kids! Well, Smithers, this ain’t Kansas anymore, and I’ll have Toto and Santa’s Little Helper knibbling at your rotten gonads after I gut you like a fish.
The only decent family in town is Ned Flanders brood- ’nuff said. I will bypass his home.
Let’s move on. Barney-who always hangs out at Moe’s Tavern. A weak- minded blob who gives in to his body’s whims. He wreaks like 5-day old goulash. I’ll send him out the same way he lived his life. I’ll buy him a beer-laced with rat poison.
On the bright side, we do have Krusty the Clown and Sideshow Bob. I like these guys. Thinkin about makin’ them my apprentices. They’ve got the rage, but I don’t think they have the drive. I’ll just help them channel that negative energy into doing something useful for society. After all-I gotta sleep too, ya know? heh, heh…hurm..hrmph. They can fill in for me while I grab some shuteye.
Apu is pushin’ the envelope with me. Nice guy. But this Pakistani piece of s–took away an honest American’s job. He’ll put a knife in your back with a smile on his face. You think you’re laughing all the way to the bank with your outrageous 7-11 markup prices? Well, the next time you open the store vault, maybe you’ll find your brother’s lips, ears and a— made into a fine necklace. What’s the price of that, s———?
That little runt Nelson has it comin’, too. You cant be a bully without a cause. He does a lot of action with no purpose. I’m not gonna off a kid, though. Just teach him a lesson. Maybe I’ll just force him to eat a pound of wasabe. Hurmph. That kid Nelson picks on-I think martin is his name. I started out like dat. Weak, timid and afraid of the world. But now I’m Springfield’s pariah.
Homer is the epitomy of all 7 deadly sins. His death will be a slow one.
Moe is a low down, dirty, stone cold scumbag. Why do we put drug pushers in jail, while a guy who peddles liquid drugs makes money hand over fist? I’m gonna slice his face off like a honeybaked ham.
Chief Wiggum is a gutless man with a gut. He’s only a police officer in name. That badge might as well be a webelos badge. It means nothing to him. Hiding behind that shield won’t cut it with me, Wiggum. If you don’t uphold the law, how do you expect Springfield’s citizens to respect the law? No more shortcuts, donutboy. I’m gonna make you the centerpiece of my Hawaiian luau, while you squeal like that fat pig in Deliverance!
Groundskeeper Willie is a solid guy, though. He does an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. Unlike those bean fartin w—- from Mexico. Lazy ingrates! Willie just has some emotional baggage ,but hey, don’t we all. Well, it’s gettin late, time to don the mask.
Retribution awaits.
Rorschach vs The Simpsons
Written by DailySkew contributor CCB3. Edited by Damian Hospital. 2010 Copyright. You may link with excerpt, but do not copy in full, unless you want to see CCB3 in court.
Today you may know General Hospital as the high-flying, brash, enigmatic and controversial WWE Intercontinental Champion, but let’s take a look at him…Before they were Champions ™. Facts verified by ccb2, narration by Geraldo Rivera.
The untold story: the General had a laundry list of juvenile indiscrestions before his rise to stardom.
August 1988: At age 11, Hospital started to ply his wrestling skills by challenging and defeating older kids at “mercy” on Sistrunk Blvd. This was at first, harmless fun. But as his mercy prowess grew, he started challenging senior citizen and unemployed men at mercy. At stake-their social security checks and foodstamps. Hospital defeated so many of these underpriveleged, that he was reported to the Medicaid agency.
At age 11, Hospital would clear about $331 per day in the form of much needed disability checks and foodstamps. The last straw was when he shattered the wrists of a 61-year old homeless man. The police came and a witness pointed the finger at Hospital. Hospital became enraged and grabbed a stick of government cheese that he had won from the 61-year old. This type of cheese is long, very hard and very yellow. Hospital slammed the government cheese into the spine of Johnny Mimms and shattered his vertebrae between c4 and c5. Mimms, a 47-year old unemployed, aspiring ballroom dancer, would never dance again.
September 1990: Age 13, after a local wrestling show at Taravella High School, Hospital posed as a pro wrestler. He told patrons that he would teach them how to properly execute a suplex for free. One patron, Charles Clemm, a 39-year old tow truck driver from North Lauderdale, took up his offer. Hospital said he would suplex Clemm onto a mat. The problem was the suplex occured on a 1/2 inch thick yoga mat on the asphalt of the parking lot. Clemm had a ruptured kidney and Hospital drove off with his towtruck.
March 1992: Age 15, after watching a video about the Von Erich family, Hospital and friend baby Kuma Roberts ran barefoot into a park in upscale Parkland. They ran towards a family reunion picnic and proceeded to drop kick John Thames, 37, Rily Thames, 58, and Lester Thames, 79. Three generations went down in 3 dropkicks.
April 1993: Age 16, while waiting at a bus stop, 51-year old baker elio hechanova gave hospital the evil eye for no reason. hospital then applied a half nelson to the portly cuban man, partially rupturing elio’s goiter on his neck. hospital then finished with a belly to belly suplex on the bus stop bench, puncturing the portly man’s spleen.
July 1994: Age 17, Hospital had lunch at the Beverly Hills Cafe. While he was leaving the cafe, he overheard 67-year old Morli Lipschitz commenting that the Aeinfeld show was a slap to Jews. Hospital then delivered a forearm shiver to the retired Jupiter Island podiatrist.
November 1994: Age 17, Hospital finished dining at the char hut. The Haitan cashier, 19-year old Ricky Jean Francois accidentaly gave Hospital incorrect change. Hospital demanded the rest of his money. Ricky Jean laughed and shrugged. Hospital then applied an iron claw to Francois’s face. After 4 long minutes, Hospital released the hold. This disturbed Ricky Jean so much, that he rode a raft BACK to Haiti.
I’m actually composing the theme song for the Urban Warfare ring entrances. They have paid me in the form of a 47-year old toothless crack ho, a pot of re-fried beans, and a six pack of colt 45.
“ratatatatatatatatat!” “305 till i die, 305 till i die, 305 till i die! Nigga!” “Son, what u know bout Miami pride?! It runs from Gator Alley down to I-95″ “From Carol City to Opa Locka, u know dem Miami boys gotcha” “Gotcha what? Dey got yo back, when ya hear dat sound, ratatatatatatatat!” “305 till i die, 305 till i die, 305 till i die! Nigga!” ” In da South, we keep it dirty, our rap is tight and not too wordy.” “South beach is where its at, where the rims are tall and da booties are phat..” “and dont forget bout Overtown, where whitey gets beat down by the mighty brown.” “white girls actin like you princess leia, gonna take a ass-poundin from da boyz from Hialeah.” “305 till i die, 305 till i die, 305 till i die! Nigga! dats how we ride!”
305 till i die (blacktop remix with DJ Hosni Ho’pital and A-Rob (aka Arnold Roberts)
“Let me set da tone ,Miami’s home, where big ballas and shot callas roam,
tres cero cinco, my project nympho,
this city’s buslin,everybody’s hustlin,
what’s da American Dream? white picket fence,2.5 kids, and a 2 story house?
this aint Orlando, it’s Miami!, Mickey Mouse
American Dream, I think not
in Miami,you put food on da table and try not to get shot.
BLAM!
when dat shot rings out,better drop to the floor like you got gout.
tres cero cinco,my project nympho,
this city’s buslin,everybody’s hustlin
life is hard,it aint easy
and we aint movin on up like George and Weezie
from Little Haiti to Little Havana
all dem chicas wanna taste of my hairy banana
like jimmy hart,miami’s da mouth of da south
ask you sista,i turned that bitch out
while yo ass is smokin endo,playin Nintendo,dj,bring on the crescendo
tres cero cinco,my project nympho,
this city’s buslin,everybody’s hustlin
comin up as a youngsta,i rode my bike and sold crack
CCB3 graduated in the middle of his class in animal husbandry at the Mutt Center in Wake Forest, NC. Served in Southeast Asia with Damian Hospital and the two developed a “don’t ask, don’t tell” military relationship.
CCB3 is proficient in eating Chinese, Italian, Mexican, Cuban, and Pinoy dishes. He is also skilled at eating without the use of silverware. Qualified expert: CCB3 has an uncanny memory when it comes to porn stars, sitcoms, 80’s action movies, and sci-fi.
“Nice guy…tough to motivate, but great with the animals.”
When A-Rod proclaimed to the world that his “cousin did it” (supplied him with drugs from the Dominican Republic), my first thought was CCB3. [For those of you who don't know CCB3 is one of my best friends who is now running from LA gangs thanks to a DailySkew post, and was in Korea before getting kicked out of a band for hitting on the lead singer.]
The reason being: in the official CCB3 Handbook, it says to use your “cousin” as an excuse for anything. “Cousin” is a very ambiguous term anyway, as it can refer to 1st cousins from either side of the family in addition to 2nd or 3rd cousins. When you add remarriages, you have access to half-cousins as well. Many “cousins” are out-of-state and many are out of the country. Throw in some in-laws, and you can have a whole host of new cousins via marriage. Additionally, some close friends can be considered cousins. SO, to say your “cousin did it” is CLASSIC.
But lo and behold- the MEDIA has actually uncovered A-Rod’s cousin. He goes under the name of Yuri Sucart, and lives in Miami.
“Yuri is his driver,” the source said. “He takes care of him all the time. His clothes, his food; he’s with Alex every day.”
The problem: it’s CCB3. I don’t know what kind of scam CCB3 in running now with Alex Rodriguez, but the last time he made contact from me after Korea was from Africa (he had a Pan the Goat sighting there, but I didn’t get around to publish his report.) As far as the name “Yuri Sucart”, that is an anagram of “A Curry Suit”, which means CCB3 is probably in India now.
Anyway, here is the photographic PROOF Yuri Sucart = CCB3
This is how the official Broward County websites describe Tradewinds Park:
“Tradewinds Park is an approximately 627-acre Broward County regional park and is located on both sides of Sample Road at 3600 W. Sample Rd. in Coconut Creek, just west of Florida’s Turnpike. The park is open daily from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m.“
This is what they don’t tell you:
The livestock pen at the farm (some people mistakenly believe it is a petting zoo) is run by one of the most powerful and magical goats of all time. His name is Pan, and he is colored black and white, with penetrating eyes and sharp horns.
Last Sunday, CCB3 and I observed how Pan and the other goats and sheep live and interact with each other. Whereas some families simply walked by the open stables and pen and saw a bunch of animals lying on the ground resting, CCB3 and I stood for hours watching the nuancies and details of Pan’s World.
Here’s our report:
Every society is run by alpha males, whether it be at your workplace or the livestock pen at Tradewinds Park. Pan is the dominant male in that society. At first we saw Pan patrolling the area, and he stood out because of his unusual color and mesmerizing eyes. Not only was Pan the most physically active, but he charged the other goats and sheep who dared lie down on the wooden Lookout Point (a stair/slide) in the center of the stable. After Pan cleared out Lookout Point, he proceeded to strut, grandstand, and stare down the female animals and any male animal foolish enough to challenge him.
Pan sharpened his horns, flexed his chest, and exercised his hooves. When a female goat approached CCB3 and I after I made a goat call, Pan ignored us, and sent mental telepathy to the female to “keep on movin’ bit_h”.
In fact, CCB3 and I heard Pan taunt and threaten all the males there. Pan, who sent these communications while he stared them down, said such threats as “Step down, punk”, “What?”, “I thought so…”, “Whatcha gonna do, boy?”, and “Sit your @$$ down”.
We also overheard Gar-Gar try to rally the sheep and goats to overthrown Pan again. Gar-Gar used to rule the pen years ago, before Pan rose to power by crippling Gar-Gar’s legs.
We also observed the mischievous Pan, Jr. Junior is an unstoppable force who knows he is protected by his father. Only Pan, Jr. was allowed to ascend Lookout Point with Pan’s permission. The pathetic Gar-Gar resents Pan Jr.
GAR-GAR: “Sheep, I bring news from Aldaron- news that can defeat Pan! Wait, please, you must listen!”
Pan allows Mexican chickens and roosters to make brief cameo appearances from the other pen. He also is well aware of the pigs next door to his area. As long as they have food, they are not a threat to his society. Birds are allowed to rest in their nests in the shade.
Pan seemingly was taking a rest in the middle of the day, as he lied down at the entrance of Lookout Point. However, we watched and chuckled as Pan sensed when one goat approached the other end of Lookout Point. All Pan had to do was slightly adjust his weight, and the other goat was caught in mid-step, and pretended that he was just “passing by”.
Pan’s life is tough because he must always supervise and be aware of everything. The sheep and other goats are not productive enough for Pan. We felt Pan sigh as one goat jumped into their water tub and fell asleep. Pan has been grooming the undisciplined Pan, Jr. but is not ready to turn over the reigns of power to him. Indeed, Pan will not transfer power willingly. Years from now, Pan Jr. must slay his father to claim his throne at Lookout Point.
At the end of our day, Pan put on a majestic and regal demonstration of his masculinity and power: he began to bang his head on lookout point, stood up and sharpened his horns. All of the female animals froze and worshiped him. After 6:00PM, when Tradewinds Park closed, Pan has his way with his preferred mates.
Gar-Gar did his best to look away from Pan, and pleaded with the humans that passed by to help his rebellion to overthrow Pan. Many times Gar-Gar looked at CCB3 and I with his sad and defeated eyes begging for us to help. Little did Gar-Gar know that we support Pan’s reign.
It pains me to report frequent DailySkew contributor, poster, and close friend CCB3 is now involved in allegations that he abused his authority as a priest to have an affair.
This is just extortion, the accuser is over 50 years old. She was not forced to do anything with him. They loved each other.
He allegedly ordered Viagra over the Internet for $89.
In addition to being a reverend, CCB3 also gave famous lectures on Judas of Iscariot, and is involved in TV and movie scripts.
My thoughts and prayers that CCB3 will continue to have the faith of his church followers.
Edit: I changed the typo from “CCB2″ to “CCB3″. My mistake. CCB2 is CCB3’s father, who is a known terrorist (and Obama supporter) in the Philippines.
CCB3: DAMIAN HOSPITAL IS A RABBI MINISTRY OF TRUTH EXCLUSIVE
through my sources, i have managed to obtain a receipt from damian hospital’s recent trip to a grocery store.this confirms what i thought all along,my brother from zion.
Publix 4213 Dixie Highway Bal Harbour,FL 33674 4/5/08 6:47pm
Baba Ganoush (Deli) $4.79 Artie’s Bagels 2@$3.99 $7.98 Avi’s Blintzes $2.99 Challah from Mannah $3.95 Latkes 3/$1.00 $1.00 Honey 5 lb. Jar $7.99 Knishe (Bakery) $1.39 Knishe (Bakery) $1.39 Knishe (Bakery) $1.39 Lox (for Stormy) $5.98 Matzah Balls $4.19 Pomengranate 2/$4.00 $4.00 Macaroons 12/$2.99 $2.99 Foreskin Magazine $7.39 Uzi (9mm) $849.00 Seinfeld DVD Season 3 $39.99 Total On the House
Tax MY ASS!TALK TO MY ACCOUNTANT!SO SUE ME YOU GENTILE BASTARD!
Your cashier today, was Ezekial. Saul Lipshitz, Manager.
Publix, where shopping is like the Day of Reckoning from the Shofar.
Simon Delaghetto tells team he’s 33, instead of 32 (Simon Delaghetto may or may not be related to CCB3)
Los Angeles (AP)-Dodger’s bullpen catcher Simon Delaghetto told the team he’s actually 33, 2 months older than he’s listed in the club’s media guide and other baseball records after being shown a copy of his birth certificate by BET.
Saying he wanted to rid himself of a burden, Delaghetto approached general manager Conrad Hospice and asked to correct misinformation he gave the USF Bulls when he signed in 1993.
“I was a poor kid,” Delaghetto said before the Dodgers finished a three-game series against the Mets on Thursday. “I wanted to sign a professional contract, and that was the only way to do it. I didn’t want or mean to do anything wrong. At the time, I was two months older than they thought.”
Delaghetto was actually 19 when he signed out of poverty-stricken Makati, Phillipines. At the time, he says, a local fisherman and barmaid encouraged him to say he was 18.
BET said it showed Delaghetto a copy of his birth certificate from the Phillipines during an interview Tuesday. Delaghetto said at the start of the interview that he was born in 1975. After he was shown the birth certificate, he walked out of the interview, saying: “Right now I just play baseball bro’. I just play baseball, and I don’t have to be here to talk about this.”
“It was brought to our attention that the date we carry for Delaghetto, the year of birth, is incorrect,” Hospice said. “We told Simon we were going to go ahead and make the appropriate changes and all the information was put forward. But the fact of the matter is he’s playing like he was 65.”
The former American League MVP was signed out of the Phillipines by Hall of Famer Juan Valdez, but he was clear Valdez had no part in the deception. Moreover, Hospice and Delaghetto both said the catcher’s green card, driver’s license and other legal papers in the United States reflect his actual birthday, December 37, 1974.
The Dodgers’ media guide lists his birthday as February 21, 1975.
“It’s something that happened the first time I signed my contract,” Simon said. “I had no intention of doing anything wrong. And now I feel like I’m 65 years old, maybe older. I feel my legs are weaker than I used to be feeling. I feel blah. I don’t have a lot of energy.”
The Texas airwaves, radio shows, and internet message boards have been on fire since it was revealed that Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington tested positive for cocaine use last season, and he also admitted to smoke weed and took greenies back when he was a player. Ron Washington was not fired, as he went through [...] […]
On today’s DailySkew Radio Podcast, Tony Vahl and Damian Hospital discussed: - their buddy Peter Parker - would Vahl help out J.J.J.? - vultures and rhinos - did the old Vulture retire to Boca Raton? - meeting Mark Waid outside DisneyWorld - Parker’s decision to not collect unemployment - archival footage of the Lizard - the secret identity of Spiderman reve […]
This time around I realized that the raccoon was free from suffering now. It's a shame its life had to end like that- it was blameless; humans built roads in the middle of his ancestor's forest. Progress and technology broke that raccoon's legs and took his life tonight. But now the suffering has ended for it. I mourned the raccoon and the way […]
ust a quick observation before I run: I jumped from watching 1980's pro wrestling to the 1991 Survivor Series because WWE put up the whole PPV online for a limited time. It never fails to amaze me how much things change. It was like I was in a time machine from 1987 to 1991... […]
