District 9 Review (2009)

How real is that?

District 9 review- the truth is if I had time I can go on and on about how this is the REAL sci-fi movie of 2009. It is a hardcore sci-fi thriller, but even that seems to diminish how great this movie is. It is a masterpiece of epic proportions, but in my opinion the lack of big name actors, the rated R-label, and the gritty realism and setting allowed people to pass on this movie and become ga-ga over Avatar.

District 9 has a premise that totally knocks other Hollywood alien movies right in their jaw. It is similar to Alien Nation, in that the aliens are not conquering invaders or even evil. Because they arrived in South Africa in 1982 their legal status is that of immigrants, and their social status is slightly higher than animals. District 9 is a Warsaw Ghetto of sorts. Go ahead and fast forward 20 years and you have a slum nightmare of epic proportions, especially since the alien culture is considered barbaric.

District 9 holds the mirror up to society about how we discriminate and assign civil rights based on common language and race. The movie is a social allegory, and the Prawns (the negative term used to describe the aliens) are marginalized. You can’t help but sympathize with them even though their appearance looks like a shrimp or cockroach- and that’s the point of the movie. In fact the Prawns are more human than the Nigerian arms dealers in the movie.

The cinematography is not for everyone (although I loved it)- the camera is like The Office and sometimes it flips from documentary to normal. I thought this made everything look realistic; it felt like Blackhawk Down at times. I wasn’t into the lead character Wikus van de Merwe at all, but again that was the point of this intellectual script- we see how Wikus transforms [pun].

As with every alien movie there is a conspiracy theory and this one is centered around the fact that humans can’t use alien weapons without their DNA. The government and corporations team up to genetically engineer the poor Prawns.

The obvious question is which movie was better: Avatar vs District 9.  The answer is not clear cut. I think Avatar was the better overall movie for the masses and had some feel good Hollywood moments in it, while District 9 totally targets the sci-fi audience. District 9 is not for everyone- it may feel too realistic and there’s no real comedy, romance, or fantasy elements to it, like Avatar had.

Avatar, the highest grossing movie of all time (not adjusted for inflation), is more mainstream. Now for the handful of you who did not like Avatar (such as my friend CCB3), I have a feeling District 9 is what you wanted for a sci-fi epic. It’s a shame it was overshadowed in American theaters and not seen by audiences at the same level as Avatar or previous alien blockbusters like ID4, Starship Troopers, etc. If you thought War of the Worlds was good besides the ending, you should know that District 9 blows WotW out of the planet. There have been many, many attempts at alien movies and most of the time Hollywood dictates what we should expect and the movies are loaded with cliches, jokes, romance, or the military teaming up with scientists, but District 9 is able to stay real- maybe too real for some (but not for me).

District 9 made $203,600,000 worldwide with a $30 million budget, and it has a 90% Rotten Tomatoes rating. It was up for a few Oscar nominations. I think any true sci-fi fan can appreciate the script, story, plot, and tone; it feels like a multi-layered sci-fi classic novel. It totally kills any alien movie you’ve seen in modern times. One thing- there’s not really a traditional conclusion- it’s more like a cliffhanger a la Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back.  Sign me up for District 10, and this time I hope the South Africans are put in a prison camp.

Tags: aliens, district 9, movie reviews, Movies, peter jackson, sci-fi movies
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Precious Movie Review (2009)

Anyone who says "just ignore" punks and they'll leave you alone hasn't been in NY in 1987.

Precious: Based on the Novel PUSH by Sapphire review- The two negative reviews from Rotten Tomatoes were written by Brits, who probably don’t like to think about Harlem, abject poverty, obesity, or incest. I also read the comments from others Brits and it seems to be a trend: they just don’t get it. Precious is a work of art. Yes, it’s depressing, full of injustice, politically incorrect, morbid, not enjoyable if you want to escape reality, and at times mocking, but it is still one of THE best movies of 2009, and I will never forget it.

There are other critics of Precious, and these are Drudge Report readers. I’m gonna have to leave those reasons as “nuff said” and leave it up to your imagination. This  film was NOT targeted to the jaded British middle class or the U.S. Republicans or conservatives. This is a harsh and gritty movie, and it’s so sad that you don’t feel well after it’s over, which I guess offends some people as well. The fantasy scenes that Precious escapes to are probably over people’s heads, and the scenes may come off as mocking her.

Okay, enough with what the fringe are saying about Precious, let’s get down to reality. Precious is an indy film, so it can go where Hollywood films are afraid to. Believe me, it goes into places that you were probably afraid to explore: cheating on welfare, forced eating, hateful mother, sexually abusive father who is not there, unruly classrooms in the urban jungle, ignorant racism, down syndrome, AIDS, violent streets, graffiti everywhere, poorly education youth, and the REAL obstacles an inner city black girl has to deal with.

It’s about time a heavy woman was a lead actress. Heavy women are marginalized in society, and I loved the fact that Gabourey “Gabbie” Sidibe is able to deliver such a great performance. Mariah Carey is great in it- I didn’t even recognize her. Lenny Kravitz has a good small role. Mo’Nique probably is the best though, as the evil mother. She may very well be the worst mother ever portrayed in cinema. Director Lee Daniels pushes the envelope with his mix of reality of the urban nightmare and fantasy sequences. I read that the movie was just one cut due to the budget and nature of indie films.

Only those who deny the reality of the movie will be unmoved. So what’s the message of such a depressing film? It’s that principals, teachers, social workers, and nurses should stop practicing Lazy Man Ethics (LME) and go out of their way to give a deserving needy kid a break. It could be argued that’s who the target audience really is. The sad part about our society is how it seems like a miracle for educators or social workers to go above and beyond to help someone.

BUY DISCOUNTED Precious DVD

Tags: entertainment, movie reviews, Movies, precious
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Grab Bag Movie Reviews- Drama, Action, Comedy

"Hold on, kid- weren't you in The Village?"

Due to the real world, I haven’t been able to write full blown reviews for movies I’ve seen with my wife. So here are quick one paragraph movie reviews for Kung Fu Panda (2008), What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993), Sling Blade (1996), Ninja Assassin (2009), Edward Scissorhands (1990), Fight Club (1999), Blow (2001), The Gods Must Be Crazy (1984), Hotel Rwanda (2004), The Wizard of Oz (1939), Dead Poet’s Society (1989), and Zombieland (2009).

Kung Fu Panda review: Started off a bit silly and full of commercialism, but got steam and went off the charts. Although the premise is simply a parody or satire of old Kung Fu movies, the message is strong and good for kids. The old tortoise had some very deep and true Buddhist advise. Funny cartoon, with good animation, and I recommend Kung Fu Panda with two thumbs up; it’s just not that original, and at times seems like a pastiche of Star Wars.

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape review: My wife and I were totally blown away by this movie, which focuses on a dysfunctional family in a small boring town. Leonardo DiCaprio is totally convincing as a retarded boy, Johnny Depp is super cute for the ladies, but the show stealer is their obese mother Darlene Cates. This is a twisted drama which holds up the reality mirror to your face about obesity, family shame, retardation, sexual frustration, and living in a backward town. Should be a classic movie that everyone knows, but the content can be offensive to those who want to deny reality.

Sling Blade review- Actor and Director Billy Bob Thorton, Dwight Yoakam, Lucas Black, and the underrated John Ritter teamed up for a timeless drama. Outstanding script, out-of-the-world acting, multi-layered story, and excellent directing make a first class classic. This is a sad story of an emotional disturbed yet gentle man trying to fit in society, and his innocent relationship with a boy with a drunk and abusive mother’s boyfriend. Perfect score from me and my wife- 2nd time I saw it.

Ninja Assassin review- Got into a fight with my wife about this one. I don’t find Rain, the star, to be physically attractive which is the only reason why women would want to see this movie. With a poor script, bad acting, bad filming, and unrealistic fight scenes, this felt like a 1992 low budget Hong Kong action movie instead of a 2009 Warner Bros movie written by JMS (J Michael Straczynski) and produced by Joel Silver and the Wachowski brothers. Would have made a great comic book graphic novel one-shot, but as a film it’s horrible. Based on the trailer, I thought it would be an action romance but there was no romance or comedy and there is way too much gore. Stay away unless you like Rain. If you are a guy, I think you have to be into video games to appreciate; the NES 8-bit 1988 Ninja Gaiden was more deep.

Edward Scissorhands review- First time we saw this Johnny Depp and Tim Burton movie. Probably overrated. The dark weird humor was innovative and original for its time. It’s a bizarre modern Gothic fairytale that I probably should have seen back in 1990 to truly appreciate it fully. I can see it being a cult classic for some- it’s enjoyable and stylistic. Could have done without the cliche suburban sex starved housewives.

Fight Club review- Is Fight Club a guy’s movie? My mom and wife didn’t dig it. I first saw it with Tony Vahl and my mind was blown, but my mom and wife didn’t like the violence or the angry white man post-modern sexually frustrated Godless rants against commercialism and society. I don’t think there’s any denying that Edward Norton, Brad Pitt, and Helena Bonham-Carter have outstanding acting performances. Director David Finch Fincher does what he does best. But I guess the dark tone, lack of morality, violence, chaotic direction, and sick and twisted plot isn’t for everyone. I still think Fight Club is a modern classic, but the 80% Rotten Tomatoes rating and the two thumbs down from the females in my life give me pause.

Blow review: Possibly Johnny Depp’s most realistic role. This is a gritty drug movie about the highs and lows of being a big-time drug dealer. The setting is totally retro and the acting and directing (Ted Demme) is superb. This is a high-stakes drama based on a true story. This was my third time watching it (first time was with Vahl) and the character betrayals were still emotional. For some reason only 55% of RT’s critics liked this; the RT community had an 85% approval rating. Should be in the 90’s.

The Gods Must Be Crazy review: Hysterical slap-stick classic comedy. It was funnier the first time I saw it because the jokes were so memorable that seeing them for the second time didn’t really do anything for me, but the movie still held up. Set in Africa, it’s about a bushman that finds a Coke bottle, and he and his tribe think it’s a gift from the gods. I saw this movie with my friend CCB3 and we were laughing non-stop.

Hotel Rwanda review: One of the best movies ever, this showcased the genocide that no one cared about by the Hutu people. Don Cheadle is the unwilling hero in this emotional drama. Where is the JUSTICE? Better than Schindler’s List. A++ ’nuff said.

The Wizard of Oz review: Probably the 20th time I saw this classic. Should be ranked #1 as the best movie of all time, I don’t care what anyone says anymore at this point.

Dead Poet’s Society review: Was required viewing at Boyd Anderson. Was have seen it at least 5 times. Robin Williams plays everyone’s favorite teacher, and the young cast teams up for a memorable emotional drama that will tear at your heartstrings. This is a coming of age story about prep school life and going up against the Establishment and Tradition. Painfully underrated at 84% RT Critics and 89% RT Community. Ethan Hawke is great as a rookie, and the evil dad (Kurtwood Smith) is quite a villain. There is not a happy ending here, folks.

Zombieland review- This was a well-done zombie movie. It seemed high-budget and had some good acting performances by Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin. It’s a guilty pleasure film. It’s a gore action comedy as opposed to a scary horror movie. I can see why DailySkew icon Zane Black loved this movie- anyone into weapons, Apocalypse, and the end of civilization would love it. Not for senior citizens or kids, but everyone in-between should dig it. Nice date movie, since it is a cool movie, and seeing zombies die is always fun. Since I had to check my brain in at the front desk, it’s probably overrated.

Tags: Blow Johnny Depp, Dead Poet's Society, Edward Scissorhands, entertainment, Fight Club, Hotel Rwanda, Kung Fu Panda, movie reviews, Movies, Ninja Assassin, Sling Blade, The Gods Must Be Crazy, The Wizard of Oz, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Zombieland
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Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen Review

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen had one major thing going for it before I watched it: my expectations had been knocked down by Transformers 1. Although it still has tons of plot holes, poor acting, and is a (groan) teen movie, I liked Revenge of the Fallen better than TF1! I thought it was more like the comic books and cartoons because there was more action, it had a sci-fi feel, there was more Optimus Prime, and they got into the pre-history retcons with The Fallen and the Primes. I dug RotF.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Two-Disc Special Edition) [Blu-ray]

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Ivan Koloff Book: Is That Wrestling Fake?-The Bear Facts Review

Is That Wrestling Fake?-The Bear Facts is written by Ivan Koloff and Scott Teal, 2007. Ivan Koloff is one of the most well known “Russian” pro wrestlers; he is known for defeating Bruno Sammartino for the WWWF Heavyweight Championship in 1971 and being Nikita Koloff’s “uncle” in the NWA in the 1980’s.

Ivan Koloff’s autobiography reads like his oral history- he sounds like your old uncle or grandfather telling you his unbelievable life story. The book starts off with Ivan Koloff describing his childhood and growing up in Canada [his real name is Oreall Perras and he has nothing to do with Russia or communism...but hey it's a living, and everyone needs a gimmick in life]. In fact the bulk of the first few chapters is about his brothers, parents, work ethic, climate, and going to prison for cattle rustling.

Ivan tells his life story chronologically but once he hits his wrestling career, it jumps around a bit, and is not as detailed as some other wrestling books. Ivan is an Enneagram Personality Type 8. He keep things simple and some of his stories are really out there in a humorous (and morbid) way. Ivan is a walking conundrum and full of unintentional contradictions. He seems like a good-natured person who just wants to mind his own business, but his stories show that he usually got into fights, and was addicted to the road life (drugs, alcohol, women, fighting at bars, etc.) He’s extremely lucky he never was imprisoned after his cattle rustling days in Canada, and frankly, he’s very lucky to be alive today.

Ivan is from a different era and setting- he had to learn how to survive at an early age, so I can’t judge or condemn him for repeating his mistakes and going down the wrong path, especially since he was having a great time most of his life, and always had a good heart. He’s doesn’t feel sorry for himself and just wanted to work for a living as a pro wrestler.

Unlike other books, Ivan Koloff is not negative at all and doesn’t bash promoters or wrestlers. You really have to read in between the lines to detect if he felt slighted in any way (for example, head booker Dusty Rhodes did not tell Ivan he was turning Nikita Koloff to be a good guy, even though Ivan trained Nikita and was his tag team partner).

The only time Ivan felt low in his career was when WCW (the NWA) phased him out in the late 1980’s because they couldn’t find a spot for him anymore. But Ivan knows that “business is business” and is still friends with Dusty Rhodes to this day.

Ivan can’t say enough good things about The Living Legend Bruno Sammartino- Bruno was kind, compassionate, and classy. Ivan also preferred Vince McMahon, Sr. to Vince McMahon, Jr., which falls in line with many veterans who worked with both promoters feel.

Funny story- The first time Nikolai Volkoff wrestled Ivan Koloff, Nikolai- who is Croatian- was calling moves to Ivan in their matches, but Ivan had no idea what he was saying. Nikolai finally yelled at him in English since Koloff was messing up all the moves: “Are you an IDIOT???” Nikolai shouted. Koloff said, “Yes.”

Since Is That Wrestling Fake?-The Bear Facts is mostly stories told from Ivan’s memory, and his career spanned 29 years, it goes without saying that it is not an accurate or very detailed pro wrestling history book. However it is still entertaining. There is even a tidbit that I have never heard before, and many wrestling “experts” online never mentioned before. According to Ivan Koloff, Vince McMahon had it planned for Ivan Koloff to beat Bob Backlund for the WWF World Title to Hulk Hogan in January 1984, but Ivan didn’t know that at the time, and had moved on since he wanted to switch territories. The Iron Shiek was the #2 choice.

Ivan wraps up the last few chapters discussing how he became a Born Again Christian thanks to Nikita Koloff. Ivan had been heavily into drinking, smoking weed, and snorting cocaine. Ivan is happy now and spreads the Word of the Lord now.

Blackjack Mulligan provides an additional chapter at the end discussing why we should devote our lives to Christ. Ivan Koloff is not as preachy as Blackjack since Ivan is more down to earth and simple-minded. Blackjack turned me off when he said homosexuality is a sin (and a choice).

After reading this book, I have respect for Ivan Koloff as a person and a wrestler. His gimmick was SO HATED by wrestling fans (including myself) that we really never thought there was a human being behind that communist gimmick, and I certainly never analyzed his matches with the other greats from his era [I grew up with Ivan Koloff teaming with Krusher Khrushchev and Nikita Koloff in 1985. I saw his early WWWF matches on video tape when I was a kid, and last year I finally saw his later WWF run against Bob Backlund in 1983].

I have read other pro wrestling books and did a ranking. Here is my updated list of Best Wrestling Autobiographies of All Time:

1- (THREE WAY CHAMPS) Ric Flair/Chris Jericho/Bret Hart
4- Mick Foley I
5- Dynamite Kid
6- Billy Graham
7- Fred Blassie
8- Lou Thesz
9- Shawn Michaels

10-Batista
11- Ted DiBiase
12- Jerry Lawler
13- Mick Foley II
14- Harley Race
15- Dusty Rhodes
16- Terry Funk
17- Ivan Koloff
18- Bobby Heenan I

19- Jesse Ventura
20- The Rock
21- Roddy Piper
22- Bruno Sammartino
23- Arn Anderson

Is That Wrestling Fake?-The Bear Facts

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Fall of the Hulks Gamma REVIEW and General Ross SPOILERS

Fall of the Hulks Gamma #1 review: written by Jeph Loeb and drawn by John Romita, Jr. And so it ends. General Thunderbolt Ross is dead, killed by Rulk. In a flashback scene used to piece together the evidence of the crime scene, it looks like Thadeus Ross, using The Redeemer armor, ambushed and defeated the Red Hulk in front of the Washington Monument. Before delivering the killing blow, Ross showed Rulk his face from The Redeemer’s helmet to taunt him. This made Rulk angry. Very angry. So Rulk killed Ross.

The bulk of Fall of the Hulks Gamma showcased General Ross’ funeral. I’ve read many comic book funerals, and this one ranks pretty well, because they covered all aspects of Thunderbolt Ross (he has an Enneagram Type 8 Personality). However, it was not an emotional funeral by any means- I shed no tears for Thunderbolt, and neither did any of the comic book characters present. Another reason why Ross’ military funeral was not sad was because…well…Ross DID die at least three times now. The most emotional time he died was the first time- when he told his daughter Betty Ross how wrong he was, and how much he loved her, as he died in her arms. This was during Hall of Famer Peter David and Todd McFarlane’s run. Can’t get any better than a Darth Vader death scene.

Who was at Ross’ funeral? The Avengers, Fantastic Four, Steve Rogers, Rick Jones (a Blue Hulk called A-Bomb), Doc Samson, and military, plus a very special guest at the end. M.O.D.O.K., The Leader, She-Rulk, future She Hulk, and others from The Intelligentsia were watching from their hidden base, and Doc Samon was their plant, since he is part of them. In fact, so was General Ross. Ross’ death was not part of the plan.

Doc Samson, the skewed hypocrite, spoke first and painted Ross as a national hero. Colonel Simon Savage spoke next- he had the most inspirational speech, saying that Ross was the ideal leader in combat. Ben Grimm – The Thing- was next. He brought up how the Hulk was Ross’ obsession and how Ross was a nutjob. A-Bomb came on and announced the special guest speaker- Bruce Banner! (The Avengers are there just in case things get ugly…besides Banner is probably wanted for some crime.) Bruce Banner went over how Betty Ross is the true person that Thunderbolt Ross’ life revolved around, and gave a tribute about their relationship. Banner was not negative at all- he admitted Ross was right- the Hulk was a menace since Day 1.

This was a great issue by Jeph Loeb. John Romita, Jr. was solid, but was a bit low key. Anyway, this is a classic issue by Marvel Comics, a must buy for Hulk fans.

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Green Lantern: Emerald Dawn Review

Green Lantern: Emerald Dawn review. Although DC’s CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS rebooted the DC Universe in 1985/1986, management waited until 1989 to retell Hal Jordan’s origin. I remember how confused I was when I read Emerald Dawn when it first came out- I had no advance notice that Green Lantern’s origin would be rebooted a la the Superman Man of Steel miniseries by John Byrne.

In many ways, plotter Keith Giffen and writer Gerald Jones retain the same feel as Man of Steel, that is- “this ain’t your daddy’s superhero anymore” and “everything you know about Green Lantern is wrong”. Artist M.D. Bright shines when drawing the yellow robot Legion and when Green Lantern is in outer space and on Oa. There is no doubt that Emerald Dawn not a mid-1980’s comic book- it has modern era all over it.

You know, one of the disappointments of Emerald Dawn is that writer Steve Englehart had put Green Lantern back on the map in 1985 and had one of the best Green Lantern runs of all time with Green Lantern #188 to Green Lantern Corps #222. Green Lantern Corps was so popular that DC made the blunder of canceling it at its peak, and moving it to Action Comics Weekly, and Englehart didn’t want to write 7 page backup stories, so DC gave GL to James Owsley (Christopher Priest), who is still complaining about how the editors handled him even today.

Frankly Englehart and editor Andy Helfer put Guy Gardner on the map before Keith Giffen and JM DeMatteis did in JLI. They were also responsible for bringing back John Stewart, and Englehart broke the barriers by not making Stewart the token “black Green Lantern” replacement. Many of the aspects comic book readers take for granted about the GLC stems from this run.

You may think I am digressing but I want to give as much background as I can- there was no need to reboot Green Lantern’s origin besides moving up the timeline. All of Green Lantern’s old stories were validated and mentioned throughout the comic’s publication history. Thanks to that little Editor’s Note, the past was always referenced in GL, old villains came back, and old storylines were brought back and wrapped up or expanded upon. But…DC decided to reboot it all.

Emerald Dawn starts with the events leading to Hal Jordan getting the ring. It ends with Hal and the GLC defeating Legion on Oa, and Hal showing the Guardians of the Universe andhis co-workers in the Corps that he’s something special (like Anakin Skywalker or Luke Skywalker of the Star Wars Jedi Knights).

I’m not going to go on a rant like an old timer and discuss every detail that was changed from the original series. But I will discuss how I don’t agree with Hal Jordan’s characterization. Whereas the Silver Age Hal Jordan was a fearless straight edge playboy confident action hero, here we have….the opposite.

The first few flashback pages are very confusing since M.D. Bright draws Hal, his brother, and his friends all the same- I can’t tell who’s who, even today. Anyway, it seems like Hal as boy watched his dad- also a test pilot- stubbornly die while trying to land a prototype Ferris Aircraft jet. This tragedy stayed with him all of his life. So when we see him as an adult- he’s having relationship issues, drinking issues, and is shown to be unreliable and washed up. [Sidenote: For those of you who saw the new Star Trek Movie this year- I saw a parallel; Emerald Dawn's first scene features a pilot named "Jordan" and he dies, but it's really the future hero's dad. Kind of how ST started- where you see "Captain Kirk" die, but he's shown to have a son.]

As someone who has read every Green Lantern comic book in order and in context, I have seen Hal Jordan’s mental health and consistency deteriorate for some time. Even in the 1960’s he was mind-controlled. He’s been unemployed a lot, quit the Corps, yelled at the Guardians, made mistakes, made illogical decisions when it comes to relationships, and switched political views. Believe me, I’ve experienced first hand how DC was trying to turn Hal Jordan into Peter Parker in the early 1970’s. But at least Steve Englehart explored all of this and restored Hal’s confidence, leadership, and mental healthiness at the end of his run. But thanks to Emerald Dawn, Hal kinda starts off depressed, and we really don’t know which pre-Crisis adventures really happened.

I also really think it’s a shame that Hal totally doesn’t even want to ring from his dying predecessor Abin Sur. He doesn’t even listen to him or care about him. It’s only until Hal meets up with Kilowog and the rest of the Green Lantern Corps where Hal becomes open minded and respectful.

It’s like Gerald Jones wanted to not only stamp HUMAN on Hal Jordan (like we hadn’t known he was human for decades), but he wanted to make Hal barely qualified to be GL. Hal gets a DUI, and his ring leaves a trail that allows Legion to kill his best friend at the hospital. Hal is in jail. We don’t see his relationship or romance with Carol Ferris; she’s dating his brother. It’s only at the end of Emerald Dawn that we see Hal has a greater destiny (again, very similar to Star Wars, which is ironic since George Lucas based the Force and Jedi on the Green Lantern Corps).

To make matters even more baffling, when Gerald Jones launched Green Lantern #1 right after this series, we see Hal Jordan with gray sideburns and is in “Traveller Mode” going from job to job, and being away from the super-hero community. Yeah, that’s real marketable, right? Is it any wonder than DC had to get rid of Hal in issue 48?

Disclaimer: I just want to say that after Englehart left GL, many different writers and editors had Office Wars about Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps’ direction. They have been very vocal about this and everyone points fingers. Backstage politics sucks, I know this. Many times a writer gets handcuffed.

Okay, let’s talk about the good stuff about Emerald Dawn I:

• It was nice to see Hal young again.
• It lead to Emerald Dawn II, which featured Sinestro training Hal Jordan. (Sinestro makes a cameo appearance on Oa in Emerald Dawn I.)
• Sales were good.
• The Guardians of the Universe were very cold and in character.
• There were some great emotional scenes when Legion kills Corps members.
• The GLC ruled.

When everything is said and done, Emerald Dawn is not for old school Hal fans who read a lot of Green Lantern’s old Earth-1 stories, but it is for post-Crisis comic book readers or casual fans. Many younger fans ate this series up, and it’s still on Green Lantern recommended reading lists, although there have been recent New Earth GL retcons in Secret Origins (and 1990’s GL comics that confirmed and denied certain aspects of the new origin.) [Note: it is outside the scope of this review to discuss the new retcons, or how some fans think Green Lantern's continuity has remained intact since the 1960's to today.]

Although Hal gets a good redeeming treatment at the end of this 6-issue limited series, Gerald Jones and Keith Giffen give Hal’s reputation too many black eyes; DC would never permit Superman/Clark Kent to be retconned in such a humbling manner (DUI, running from responsibility, etc.)

Green Lantern: Emerald Dawn

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Detective Comics #860 REVIEW and SPOILERS

Detective Comics #860 review: wrapping up the origin of Batwoman (DC’s openly gay super heroine), writer Greg Rucka and artist J.H. Williams III put on another great piece of work this month. Here we see the beginning of Kate Kane’s crime career- working undercover dressed like a slut in seedy places to gather intel, and stealing technology and tear gas from an army base to work the streets. When her dad finds out, he gives her a hard time before realizing that Kate needs to do this to serve a greater good. Her dad actually accepts her and supports her. This was a great scene.

If you see Kate’s secret crime fighting life as a metaphor for her being a lesbian (both are not accepted in society) than it is refreshing that her dad supports both aspects of his daughter. I’m sure many gay comic book readers were glad to see her dad support her crime fighting lifestyle (and, of course, never judging her lesbianism).

Splash pages show how Kate got her physical training and detective skills all around the world, with the help of her dad’s connections and money. We also see how her dad designed the Batwoman costume. Comic book continuity fans take note: J.H. Williams III was 100% correct with the way he drew Batwoman’s original costume, which was designed by Alex Ross during 52. Williams could have easily penciled his own tweaked version, but he stuck to the continuity. Her dad included the Bat emblem so “everyone knows whose side you’re on”.

In the last scene we see Kate and her dad’s relationship sour; he’s drinking, it’s raining, and Kate had used her skills to determine that her twin sister Elizabeth was the villain (Alice- like Alice in Wonderland) from previous issues (whom Batwoman saw fall to her death). Her dad never told her that her sister may have been still alive. Since she was 12 and her mom died, her dad wanted to protect her feelings and not say that he was unable to find her sister (no body was recovered).

The Question backup story was finally good, once again featuring Rene Montoya, the female Question (DC’s other lesbian super heroine, and on-again/off-again lover of Batwoman), and the Huntress cracking down on organized crime.

I feel much better about Batwoman now than when I first starting reading this story arc. Here’s why:

1) Batwoman is a strong lesbian character. Although her outfit and artwork seems overly fetish, she’s not just eye candy like a WWE diva.
2) Kate Kane is victim of tragedy and society, but is strong, and focuses her energy to save one life at a time, not to bring back her mom or sister or to win the war on crime.
3) Unlike the seemingly dozens of Batman related characters running around Gotham City, her origin isn’t tied into Bruce Wayne’s and she in effect is her own person, not a Batman wanna-be, Robin-wanna be, or Batgirl wanna-be (and obviously both Robin and Batgirl can be seen as Batman, Juniors). She sees her role as a crimefighter as a “call to arms” and that’s what Batman’s light in the sky means. I think she would shrug if the other Batman characters or even Batman himself judged her.

Detective Comics #860

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Amazing Spider-Man #616 Review: Sandman Conclusion

Amazing Spider-Man #616 review- This continues the Spider-Man The Gauntlet event, and is written by Fred Van Lente and drawn by someone who is quickly becoming one of my new favorite artists Javier Pulido.

Being Christmas Eve and all- and considering I am about to do something in real life in 5 minutes- this has to a quick Spidey review:

This is yet another solid Amazing Spider-Man issue, and The Gauntlet event has surprised me in terms of delivering classic Spidey stories. It’s not like ASM 616 was anything super special, but the storytelling, art, and characterization once again brought me back to the pre-1990’s Spider-Man comic books.

In this issue Spider-Man has an all out battle with the Sandman (who is drawn like Sandman from the Spider-Man 3 movie) over the little girl Keemia in Governor’s Island. Keemia loves the Sandman and hates Spider-Man for trying to save her from the giant sand castle.

Amazing Spider-Man 616 SPOILERS: It is revealed that two of Sandman’s identity’s committed murder and framed Carlie Cooper. After Spidey defeats the Sandman, the Department of Child Services (or whatever they are called now) takes Keemia away and puts her in a ghetto foster home. Keemia hates Spidey more than ever, especially since Spidey thought Keemia would be reunited with her abuela. Although the villain is defeated, Spider-Man is praised, and Carlie is off the hook, Peter Parker feels guilty and helpless about the situation. This wraps up the Sandman right now in The Gauntlet.

Merry Christmas, folks. Bye for now.

Amazing Spider-Man #616

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Amazing Spider-Man 615 Review: Sandman Strikes

Amazing Spider-Man #615 review and SPOILERS, written by Fred Van Lente (awesome name) and drawn by Javier Pulido, continuing The Gauntlet storyline.

Keemia is a little girl living in the city all to herself. All hints point to The Sandman taking care of her in her own little castle. Who is she? Why is she being taken care of? What happened to her parents?

Peter Parker gets an assignment from Glory at Major JJJ’s office. An evidence screw-up at the crime lab is making the city look bad, so J. Jonah Jameson wants a good press release spin showing that everything is and wants to blame Carlie Cooper.

As Peter takes pictures, Carlie is being escorted from the building and begs Peter to believe her innocence (Peter has had a crush on her).

So Spider-Man kinda copies Dick Grayon in Batman #694 and becomes the World’s Greatest Detective and figures out that a series of murders leads to Governors Island (I love when Marvel Comics shows weird areas in New York that are closed to the public…I was always interested in those areas when I lived in NY.)

Turns out Sandman has the little girl, he framed Carlie, and Spidey thinks Sandman is a murderer too (yeah, right). They fight and Spidey is left in a compromising last page, surrounded by a bunch of different Sandman versions from over the years.

Solid issue- very clean and retro art, setup issue, no complaints here. Last 4 issues of ASM were great. If you’re a casual Spidey fan or if you have felt burnt since Brand New Day, you should check The Gauntlet out- the editorial direction is finally going back to what makes Peter Parker great.

Amazing Spider-Man #615 Gauntlet

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Red Hulk #18 REVIEW: Origin of Doc Samson

Hulk #18 review- Maybe there is an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-good God after all. After 17 horrible issues of RULK, writer Jeph Loeb came up with a winner on the 18th try. Hey, I just realized something after reading Hulk #18, RULK isn’t even in it.

I had been used to Doc Samson’s 1980’s appearances as a guest star in the Avengers and being a main cast member in John Byrne’s and Peter David’s Hulk runs, so I had no idea how selfish, insecure, and unhealthy Doc Samon was before he had transformed into a gamma irradiated superhero until I had finally gotten my hands on his 1971 origin issue and his first few storylines. There is no doubt that Roy Thomas had set out to create a rival for the Hulk, not a helper, as Samson was later depicted as, and certainly not a true super hero.

Anyway, Hulk 18 showcases Doc Samson- who had been revealed to be a villain in the last few Hulk issues- having a therapy session. Here we finally get into an excellent deconstruction of the character that first made his appearance in 1971 (Incredible Hulk 141 by Roy Thomas). Quite frankly when I read the Hulk 141 back issue this year, I was so shocked that Dr. Leonard Samson was a barely average Enneagram Type 5 when he made his first appearance (an absent-minded professor-type who felt rejected by his peers and didn’t have a woman, so he tried to compete with Bruce Banner to get Betty Ross by stealing the Hulk’s power). I HATED Samson’s early appearances, especially since he was tagging Betty Ross. Although other comic book writers have used that angle, no one did it as good as Loeb in this issue (ALL is revealed).

The reason I bring all of this up is because Jeph Loeb tackles everything I had just typed in this Doc Samson issue- and more. Loeb created a great retcon- how was Dr. Leonard Samson even allowed on a military installation in the first place, and who funded his work to create a super powered being? In 1971, it was kind of accepted that any “doctor” can just waltz in on Gamma Base with General Ross’s blessing and no one wrote in letters to the editor. But now, Loeb actually retconned that event into the Fall of Hulks storyline and tied it to the creation of the Red Hulk! Yes, Samson was sent to Gamma Base back then to test out the device and draw power from the Green Hulk to create a super powered being (himself). A similar device was used to create Rulk! In other words, this plot has been going on since Incredible Hulk 141-and it all fits.

We also find out the deep rooted psychological issues that motivate Doc Samson- he was living in the shadow of his father, who was also a psychologist/author/intellectual snob named Leo. His wife called him Samson. Leo’s patients were HOT women suffering from anorexia. Leonard never had the women, the fame, or the respect- even after he became a super-powered being, he never became accepted by the Avengers, Defenders, or other Marvel teams.

To further get into the sick and twisted mind of Samson, he finally admits he “gets off” by fighting the Hulk (which, according to his therapist, obviously means he feels impotent for losing all the time).

This was the first Jeph Loeb Hulk comic tackled characterization, motivation, and continuity. What a concept.

The artwork by 1990’s wunderkind Whilce Portacio fits the issue much better than Ian Churchill’s Hulk artwork.

Hulk 18 SPOILER: It is revealed that Samson was actually speaking to himself [yes, HE was the therapist] and there were three projected personalities in the room at the end: Samson the nutjob, Doc Samson the superhero, and Dr. Leonard Samson the psychologist. In the end, only Samson the madman remains- he kills the other aspects of his personality because he wants to suppress his intellect to become more vicious to defeat the Hulk. M.O.D.O.K. was watching the whole session and said that Samson is ready now.

This issue is highly accessible to any Hulk fan, and a must for Doc Samson fans. Two thumbs up! Get it today.

Hulk #18

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Where the Wild Things Are Movie REVIEW

Where the Wild Things Are review- For someone like me, a boy raised in Brooklyn, New York (where author Maurice Sendak was raised and was inspired to write the 1963 classic children’s book) “Where the Wild Things Are” was not only required reading, but FUN reading. First let me make it clear- WTWTA only had around 10 sentences in it- it was a children’s book powered by drawings of fantastical monsters.

Where the Wild Things Are

Question #1 for me was: how can you adapt a full length movie based on a few drawings?

After watching the movie (I had a free pass) I can say that the director Spike Jonze (who teemed up with Maurice Sendak) just used the barebone book and weaved a whole world powered on a child’s imagination, and finally gave those monsters I stared at as a kid personalities. After the initial feeling of “oh, this didn’t happen in the book” I realized how STUPID that comment is since the “book” is just a bunch of drawings. This movie is an entirely different piece of artistic work.

Yes, the Where the Wild Things Are movie is a work of art. It’s different than any movie you’ve ever saw in this sickening modern era of pop cinema. It is original, odd, offbeat, methaphoric, weird, and engaging. It leaves the crapfest that is New Moon (the new, new Star Wars trilogy) in the dust [I'm sorry, I just don't get Twilight, okay?].

And… it’s not for kids of today. It’s for the adult Baby Boomers and Generation X’ers who read the book when they were kids. The movie has a warped melancholic tone and dark mood since the opening scene. Of course, I thought Wall-E was dark, but kids liked that. Kids like the Harry Potter and Narnia movies, and they seem pretty serious as well. So I guess it all depends on your children. The good news is that there’s no sex, violence, or cursing, so it’s all about tone, and if they will find it entertaining.

Where the Wild Things Are is kinda like a throwback to The Neverending Story, Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, or The Princess Bride and other 1980’s fantasy movies. One refreshing aspect of WTWTA is that the human scenes can take place in any era- there’s no fad technology that would instantly date the movie; it is a timeless tale about a lonely child wanting the attention of his mother, sister, and non-existent friends.

Child actor Max Records blew me away. That kid has super talent.
“Tony Soprano” does the voice of Max’s best monster friend and did a fantastic job.

The Mother reminded me of the neglectful mother archetype from the Amazing Stories anthology TV show in the 1980’s.

I thought the special effects would have been the most controversial aspect of the film, but after I just checked out Rotten Tomatoes while typing this review, I see that the target audience mystery and that the movie didn’t follow the book were the major issues naysayers had. For those critics who attack WTWTA for being over the heads of kids- how about just reviewing the movie for yourself? Did you like it or not?

Where the Wild Things Are is an imagintaive film with comedy and seriousness, and I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to see the world through the eyes of a 9-year old single child. I can vouch for the kid.

Oh yeah, the Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack by Karen O and the Kids totally blew me away. I need to get my -ahem- hands on Where the Wild Things Are music TODAY.

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Batman 694 REVIEW and Spoilers

Batman #694 review- written and drawn by double-duty Tony Daniel- gotta say that Tony Daniel’s artwork on Batman is getting better and better if that’s possible. The plot focused on the new mysterious Black Mask and his Ministry of Death struggling to maintain control of Gotham City. Batman- Dick Grayson-is investigating Kittyhawk – a young thief pivotal to the outcome of the gang war.

Ongoing plots/revelations in Batman:

The Falcone family is at war with Black Mask.

Katrina (Kittyhawk) who stole something and is being hunted down by everyone

The Riddler is still missing after the explosion that may have given him his old personality and memories of Bruce Wayne back

The Arkham Aslyum’s Dr. Singh may have invented a cure for all mental illnesses, but someone blew up his team.

Hush is the one pretending to be Bruce Wayne, and he is planning something

The Reaper, Dr. Death, the Golden Age Batman villain, and Dr. Hugo strange are up to something sinister. They work for the Black Mask.

The Penguin is thwarting assassination attacks because he did something that pissed Black Mask off.

More tension between Dick Grayson, Oracle (Barbara Gordon), and the Huntress.

Dick Grayson feels guilty over the death of the teen informant named Baby D from Batman 693. While Baby D was in the hospital, Dick’s thought bubble revealed that he will get the kid a mentor, job, and college education once he gets better. But Baby D dies at the end.

And of course “Who is Black Mask?”

My only problem with Batman 694 is that all of these plots and subplots are too complicated and densely packed; it’s impossible for any new reader to jump aboard. With so many comics on the market DC Comics should make it mandatory to have a recap page at the beginning of every issue. That being said, I shouldn’t complain too much because Batman comics have been in this serial detective format for years now, and it works. Obviously everything is building up towards Batman #700, and all will be revealed and make sense in time.

Batman #694

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Hulk: Winter Guard Special Review- Russian Superheroes

Hulk: Winter Guard Special #1 review- For an old time Marvel Comics fan such as myself, I was familiar with the Winter Guard. Back in the early 1980’s the original members were in Contest of Champions and some classic Incredible Hulk comic books drawn by Sal Buscema. Well, it turns out the Winter Guard is kinda like Damian Hospital and Tony Vahl’s Dream Seeker Universe: the team is cursed like The Soul Patrol, and it is a legacy group: when members die, they get replaced with similar looking heroes, and the MEDIA doesn’t know the difference.

Their arch-enemy The Presence is in Winter Guard Special as well. He’s a mysterious all-knowing energy eater. So what the heck does all of this have to do with the Hulk? Well, Igor the spy from Hulk #1 is in it. The Presence had mutated him into a giant gamma monster.

Hulk: Winter Guard Special #1 One Shot is written by David Gallaher and penciled by Steve Ellis. The colors are dark and murky…the artwork is OK for this issue, nothing exciting, though. This comic includes a reprint of from Incredible Hulk #393 featuring Igor the spy written by Peter David and drawn by Dale Keown.

This One Shot focused on the new Darkstar and how her amulet possessed the DNA/soul of her predecessor (The Presence’s daughter). Darkstar also was possessed by Igor after she defeated his mutated Starro state. She and the Crimson Dynamo died and were replaced in this issue. The Russian version of Captain America- Red Guardian VII- is particularly callous when it comes to replacing members.

Anyway, I don’t believe the Winter Guard as a team gets American comic book readers excited. It’s a great concept and a great idea- a replaceable and expendable heroes, but is more suited for Marvel MAX, Marvel Knights, i.e. mature readers. Winter Guard doesn’t belong in the mainstream Marvel Universe in 2010 unless they have a hot artist like Ed McGuiness, since everyone will buy it regardless. Yeah, call me a joy killer or creativity censor, but the truth is I don’t think it’s marketable enough for the fanboys.

So what does any of this have to do with the Hulk? Well, there’s no doubt Igor- the man who created the Hulk- will play a part in Fall of the Hulks, even though he’s just a spirit now. I guess it’s possible Winter Guard may get a mini-series down the road, but there’s no way it could sustain an ongoing monthly comic. The cover has a SIEGE logo on it- that’s another massive crossover. I guess Winter Guard will be in that? Right now Marvel has been pushing Dark Reign and War of the Kings (B and C List) and Fall of the Hulks.

Conclusion: This was an OK read. I wish it had some flashbacks, editor notes, or summary pages to bring me up to speed with the new Winter Guard, however. If not for the Peter David reprint there would be no Hulk in this comic.

Planet Hulk (Two Disc Special Edition)

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Incredible Hulk 605 Review: Mole Man vs Tyrannus

Incredible Hulk 605 review- Here we have a solid issue written by the modern day Hulk wunderkind Greg Pak and masterfully CGI drawn by Ariel Olivetti with flashback pages drawn by Paul Pelletier, this time with ideal and inker and colorist, so we had the vintage awesome Pelletier.

The whole story takes place in New York City where Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four put a gamma shield around Times Square so Skaar, son of Bruce Banner/Hulk doesn’t destroy everything as he battles the Mole Man’s new monsters. The shocker is that these Mole Man monsters landed from Skaar’s homeworld, so they have a connection with Skaar. Bruce Banner wants to test Skaar: will he become the new King of Monsters or will he defeat them?

Before the Hulk’s son can make the decision, Tyrannus and his slaves appear from their vintage 1963 underground drilling machine. Tyrannus renews his war with the Mole Man dating back to Incredible Hulk #127 from 1970! (I always mused that Stan Lee had forgotten he created two villains which rule Subterranea).

Hulk SPOILERS:

Skaar does what his dad was never able to do: easily defeat Tyrannus in two pages. I never liked Tyrannus, a C-List villain who bored to tears when he would drag a war against the Hulk on for 1-2 issues back in the 1960’s to early 1980’s (Hall of Fame writer Peter David wouldn’t touch him, which says a lot). Additionally, a post-prime John Byrne used Tyrannus to launch Hulk Volume 3 around 10 years ago and dragged that awful storyline out for months. My problem with Tyrannus is that he has no humble bone in his body and is very one dimensional. In contrast, the Mole Man has personality- he was shunned by beauty on the surface and made a name for himself on Monster Isle, where the underground outcast brutes accept him as their master. So…I was OK with Tyrannus getting jobbed out in two pages by not only being portrayed as being C-List, but also being too melodramatic. It showed a great clash between generations: Son of Hulk wasted no time playing the game with his guy.

Skaar then has a tear in his eye before he kills the monsters from his homeworld. Okay- why did he kill his buddies? I guess he 1) Didn’t want them to be enslaved 2) Didn’t want to lead them or 3) Realized the havoc they would cause to humanity. For the record he tells Banner that what he does today is what he did every day on his home planet. The rugged individualist tells Banner that no lesson was learned today except that he hates Banner now, along with his prexisting hatred of the Hulk.

At the end, Reed Richards figures out that Banner orchestrated this entire episode.

Banner introduces Skaar to the MEDIA, so now the Son of Hulk is known to the general public.

Banner’s eyes are green in the last panel and he hints the Hulk would be back soon.

The She-Hulk backup story was once again not my thing. This She-Hulk (Lyra) is the daughter of the Hulk from the future and she is searching for Jennifer Walters (the real She-Hulk, Bruce Banner’s cousin). Along the way she fights female versions of the Hulk’s villains, like Zzax.

That being said, this is a good action comic book with comedy elements. There was no deep psychology here. Yet it’s a highbrow version of Jeph Loeb’s Rulk fiasco.

Incredible Hulk #605

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Amazing Spider-Man 614: Review SPOILERS- The End of…

Amazing Spider-Man #614 review: Hall of Fame comic book writer Mark Waid continued The Gauntlet storyline, which featured Electro becoming a “Power to the People” hero due to the financial crisis and recession. In ASM 614, the citizens of New York power-up Electro by turning on all of their electric appliances at once. Spider-Man and Electro duke it out, as Electro wanted to kill the New DB publisher Dexter Bennett because his newspaper received bailout money from the stimulus package.

Electro’s powers are at an all time high and the foundations of the DB (Daily Bugle) are shaken in the fight. Although Spider-Man prevailed by creating a new type of web fluid, the DB collapsed. Bennett himself is crippled. Former Daily Bugle founder J Jonah Jameson (now mayor of New York City, and hated rival of Dexter) watched as “his” lifelong achievement came tumbling down into dust.

The art by Paul Azaceta once again fits the mood, and the story was once again excellent. Amazing Spider-Man #614 is an historic issue in Peter Parker’s life. It is equivalent to Clark Kent’s Daily Planet getting blown up.

The dialog and story- although using modern topics such as the recession and having new technology- felt like a excellent issue from the 1970’s or early 1980’s, like writer Roger Stern’s work.

The epilogue has the Chameleon and the new female Kraven recruiting Electro, who has become a villain again in the eyes of the public for destroying such an iconic building as the Daily Bugle.

Wouldn’t be surprised if Amazing Spider-Man 614 sells out and goes into a second printing.

Amazing Spider Man #614

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DC Challenge Review (1985-1986)

I started buying DC Comics religiously in 1985 (although my mom started me in 1981, and I eventually went back into time), and saw the house ads for DC CHALLENGE in the famous CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS. As a sucker for epic team-ups like Marvel’s CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS and SECRET WARS (I even picked up SUPER POWERS- all of them), I was very disappointed that I never was able to collect DC CHALLENGE. Heck, I never even saw one in the $0.25 bin in the early 2000’s. I even was offering to make some trades and tried to barter with people online to get my hands on DC CHALLENGE in recent years, but to no avail…until NOW. Yep, I have DC CHALLENGE; aren’t I special? So…what was DC CHALLENGE?

DC CHALLENGE was a12-issue maxi comic book series that ran the same time and past CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS in 1985-1986. It was a round robin experiment in narrative because each issue would be written by a different author and illustrated by a different artist without consultation from the previous team. Each issue would end in an impossible cliffhanger and the name of the next chapter would be provided. Authors were free to use any character or concept from DC, with the exception of those whose more orthodox appearances they were currently writing. DC CHALLENGE’s tagline was “Can You Solve It Before We Do?” This was the last multiverse story.

• Issue 1 – “Outbreak!” by Mark Evanier; art by Gene Colan & Bob Smith (Nov. 1985)
• Issue 2 – “Blinded By the Light” by Len Wein & Chuck Patton; inked by Mike DeCarlo (Dec. 1985)
• Issue 3 – “Viking Vengeance” by Doug Moench; art by Carmine Infantino & Bob Smith (Jan. 1986)
• Issue 4 – “Atomic Nights” by Paul Levitz; art by Gil Kane & Klaus Janson (Feb. 1986)
• Issue 5 – “Thunderbolts and Lightning” by Mike W. Barr; art by Dave Gibbons & Mark Farmer (Mar. 1986)
• Issue 6 – “A Matter of Anti Matter” by Elliot S. Maggin & Dan Jurgens; inked by Larry Mahlstedt (Apr. 1986)

• Issue 7 – “Don’t Bogart That Grape . . . Hand Me the Gas Pump!” by Paul Kupperberg; art by Joe Staton & Steve Mitchell (May 1986)
• Issue 8 – “If This Is Love, Why Do My Teeth Hurt?” by Gerry Conway; art by Rick Hoberg, Dick Giordano, & Arnie Starr (June 1986)
• Issue 9 – “All This and World War, Too!” by Roy Thomas; art by Don Heck (July 1986)
• Issue 10 – “Jules Verne Was Right!” by Dan Mishkin; art by Curt Swan & Terry Austin (Aug. 1986)
• Issue 11 – “How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You’re Not Anywhere At All?” by Marv Wolfman & Cary Bates; art by Keith Giffen & Dave Hunt (Sept. 1986)
• Issue 12 – “Fathers Against Suns”, with everyone

Are you sold yet?

A wise man once said: “Be careful what you wish for.”

DC CHALLENGE was high in concept but low on execution, but it’s saving grace is that most of the writers really had fun doing this (based on the letter pages). So…it was a labor of love. It really was a challenge for the writers and artists; it was a grand geek contest. It should have been an in-house experiment only, because trying to follow this maxi-series was virtually impossible. Theoretically, you could read DC CHALLENGE #12 only because it explains all of the dangling plots.

Like CRISIS, dozens of obscure and mainstream heroes and villains made appearances. One cool concept was a Nazi Earth. But the plot is nonsensical, and there’s really no characterization. This series was probably appealing to 1% of comic books fans at the time, and will never be reprinted in trade paperback or even mentioned by DC today.

I can’t criticize the writers too much because it was an original idea, they were really into it, and only a couple seemed ruined the story on purpose out of frustration (Paul Levitz and Gerry Conway come to mind). This series is quite harmless and self-contained. It’s fun and wacky. Butf or many issues the letter pages were more exciting than the actual story because the writer from the previous issue explained what direction he wanted to go in.

Frustrating things about this series: the seemingly random use of Adam Strange’s Zeta beams, too many aliens, characters from the 1940’s popping up for a panel or two just for the heck of it, subplots being dropped off and picked up, the fact that the writers had no idea what was going on, and lack of a clear focus. You know some CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTH naysayers (blasphemers) said that they couldn’t follow Marv Wolfman’s masterpiece because there were too many characters and a complex storyline. Well, DC CHALLENGE is 100x more confusing than CRISIS was. [Sidenote: since these two maxi-series came out at the same time, there are some scenes that are actually reminiscent of each other, such as the Outsiders in Metropolis and the Joker being in on a mystery.]

Ultimately DC CHALLENGE is rightfully a footnote in comic book history. Believe me, there’s no reason to unearth this- it’s not a hidden gem or a classic. It’s not even in continuity because it started out pre-Crisis and never acknowledged Earth-Sigma or the Crisis after 1986 (except a note saying that Uncle Sam’s Earth-X doesn’t exist anymore…arggghhh…my head just exploded now). If you must read DC CHALLENGE, just grab issue 12.

Spoiler Alert: Darkseid is the master villain in search of the Anti-Life Equation and is featured in DC CHALLENGE #11. Some things never change (see Grant Morrison’s FINAL CRISIS of the modern day).

DC Challenge #11 September 1986

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Fall of the Hulks Alpha Review: Origin of Red Hulk

Fall of the Hulks: Alpha review: I was just blown away. Holy crap, I was blown away. I had no idea what FotH was going to be about- I figured some stupid Rulk action fest (I stay away from Previews, which molds expectations). Boy, was I wrong. This was written by Jeff Parker (Thunderbolts) and drawn by one of my personal favorites, Paul Pelletier (Green Lantern, Flash). FotH is a one-shot, but it really is a bookend mini-series, since there will be Fall of the Hulks: Gamma.

Okay, enough of that, let’s get to the plot and synopsis- the Hulk isn’t even in this comic book, which is fantastic. FotH features a group of evil super villains- some of the smartest brains in the Marvel Universe. If I was a Marvel villain, this would be my group, and my name would be Overmind the Great. They call themselves The Intelligencia, and they have been working behind the scenes for YEARS in the Marvel Universe, in search of knowledge from Alexander’s Library. The Intelligentsia was comprised of The Leader, Doctor Doom, The Wizard, The Mad Thinker (with Awesome Android), The Red Ghost (with his apes), and Egghead. After Egghead was killed, The Leader recruited M.O.D.O.K. This may sound like a B-Team, but in the Marvel Universe this is a strong team because of their technical skills. If you were scared of The Frightful Four or Masters of Evil, The Intelligencia would destroy them in one panel.

The Intelligentsia used their combined intellect to power a time-displacement shift and teleporter device to steal the various tomes of knowledge and artifacts of Alexander from the Eterernals, Atlantis, and Wakanda. Along the way, this group contributed to some cool retcons in the Marvel Universe- this retroactive continuity did not offend me, like it usually does:

1) Using this stolen knowledge, they created a device that inadvertently attracted The Beyonder (1984 our time). This lead to Secret Wars I and II.
2) The Intelligentsia used a rejuvenation ray to help each other (except Doom) and other non-affiliated villains (like Absorbing Man and other B- and C- list Marvel villains). This explains why so many bad guys keep coming back to life all of these years.
3) They stimulated the symbiote later known as Venom (Spider-Man’s black costume) after it was defeated in Web of Spider-Man #1 to cause major distractions while they continued to plan to steal the artifacts.
4) The Leader had control of Betty Ross’s (Bruce Banner’s dead wife) body in suspended animation.

Anyway, The Leader was the field leader, while Doctor Doom kept the tomes of knowledge in his castle in Latveria to guard them. However, once The Intelligentsia found all of the missing pieces of Alexander’s pyramid of knowledge, Doom turned on them; The Leader ran away while the others got their butts kicked by Doom’s army. They managed to escape, because much later, M.O.D.O.K. eventually found The Leader underground and they teamed up using Alexander’s knowledge of cosmic rays and gamma rays to create RED HULK. Who is RULK? It is not revealed yet, but remember I predicted that Rulk is Betty Ross Banner, with her dad Thunderbolt Ross as #2 choice.

The Good
Well, this felt like an old-school Marvel comic. From the cover to the last page, this felt like a late 1970’s to late 1980’s Marvel tale; The Intelligencia is made up of old-school brains from the 1960’s- no new deconstructed Image-clone villains. This was vintage Marvel- showing how the greatest brains plot something, succeed, but always wind up backstabbing each other. Doom and The Leader? Sign me up with The Intelligencia.

• The continuity: I’m sure some comic book geek can find faults in The Intelligencia’s time-line, but “it felt right” to me. Considering all the liberties Brian Michael Bendis makes every month on his titles, nothing with The Intelligentsia offended me in any way.
• Great scene: The Leader had finally built a bomb that could destroy the Hulk, but Dr. Doom gleefully informs him that Reed Richards and Tony Stark used their intellect to banish the Hulk to another planet.

The Bad

• Not personal bads for me, but I guess if you were looking for the Hulk, you may be disappointed.
• Paul Pelletier’s inker and colorist were not as good as his Kyle Rayner Green Lantern run. In fact, some of Pelletier’s artwork looked like Paul Ryan’s (1990’s Fantastic Four) mediocre work. HOWEVER, I personally enjoyed the old-school feel- no “hot” artist, no anime, and no 3-D CGI.

What this means for the future of Hulk comic books and Rulk is what the comic books fans are more than likely debating on the comic book forums as you read this. (I check them out after I read a comic book). In other words, they once again lose the forest in the trees. Fall of the Hulks: Alpha was a great comic book. Based on a Marvel in-house advertisement, it looks like Red Hulk will get his own comic, while Hulk and Incredible Hulk will still exist (which means Bruce Banner will once again turn into the Hulk) and there’s going to be Savage She-Hulks. It still sounds like overexposure and overkill to me, but it all depends on how much influence Jeph Loeb will have on these comics. If I were in charge of Marvel, I’d have one Hulk comic book, two max, not four.

Also, this was not handled the best way since World War Hulk since the Hulkverse has been awfully weird since that critically acclaimed mega-event.

That being said, Fall of the Hulks: Alpha ruled- “already read it twice” ruled. Not only are the origins of every member of The Intelligentsia told, but The Leader also briefs you on everything that has happened to the Hulk in recent years. This is a great jumping on point for casual Hulk fans. Get it.

Fall of Hulks Alpha One-Shot

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Detective Comics 859 Review: Batwoman Lesbianism

Detective Comics 859 review- My partner Tony Vahl had e-mailed me about Taking the Kinsey Scale (now HOW GAY DOES THAT SOUND- it’s not what you think, either), and ironically enough, I was reading Detective Comics #859 at the time. I had been harsh on Detective Comics since DC decided to make it a double-sized lesbian fetish fest since Battle for the Cowl, but I have to say…I was won over with Detective Comics 859.

Here we finally get some solid pieces of Kate Kane’s origin, written by All-Star Greg Rucka and drawn by pro J.H. Williams III. This was a relevant and trendy origin: we see how much Kane enjoyed being a Cadet at West Point Academy, and wanted to make her dad, also military, proud. Unfortunately, Kate gets reported for engaging in an improper act. She has a chance to deny it, and “don’t ask, don’t tell”, but she has too much integrity to live a lie. Now, out of the closet, she destroys her military career.

We finally also see how Kate Kane and Rene Montoya met and began their lesbian relationship. Turns out Rene was giving Kate a speeding ticket, and, uh, one thing led to another. From my experiences reading craigslist posts, I guess I shouldn’t be shocked anymore.

The Good

• The new Batwoman is finally fleshed out, and I like her now. Just wish they would have done this sooner (instead DC opted to make her mysterious since she first appeared around 52).
• J.H. Williams III is great.
• Brings exposure to the tough time homosexuals deal with when it comes to Establishment.
• Great REAL relationship with Montoya: Kane yells at her for being in the closet.
• Kane refuses to be a VICTIM of a mugger.

The Bad

• I’m still not sure about the splash pages subplot about some prophesy.
• I still don’t dig the Rene Montoya (The Question) backup stories, written by Rucka and drawn by Cully Hamner.

Conclusion

Detective Comics 859 would be a good jumping on point for new readers. Batwoman is not really involved with the other Batman and Robin comics right now, so it’s for a different target audience. It has a Vertigo feel to me, since lesbianism is a mature topic when compared to what is happening in other comic books on the stands, like RULK.

Detective Comics #859

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Red Hulk #17 Review RULK SUCKS

Red Hulk #17 review: The Day After Thanksgiving means a few things in American society: 1) Black Friday sales and 2) Taking several dumps in the toilet. Somehow both are related to RULK. I read RULK, the RED HULK #17 by Jeph Loeb and Ian Churchill today! Here’s my review:

Doc Samson is a bad guy. He and Rulk work for the same people, but it appears THEY find Rulk expendable (don’t we all). Samson and Rulk fight with Domino, Punisher, Elektra, Silver Sable, Wolverine (don’t know if that was Logan or his son, sorry), and other mercenary types in the mix. She-Rulk hates Male Rulk.

The Good

• I saw the word “Conclusion” in the title.

The Bad

• No Conclusion here.
• Just more of the same: Random betrayals, random battles, one-liners, nothing revealed. Who is Rulk? Who is She-Rulk? (By the way, without the whole “Who is Red Hulk” marketing campaign, this comic book would get no Internet coverage.)
• Rulk is a good guy now. Yup. Seems like he wants to clean up this country since Green Hulk declared war on the world in the World War Hulk storyline from a few years ago. The fact that Rulk crippled, destroyed, and murdered in the previous issues is kinda forgotten now.
• Took 5 minutes to read, but would have taken 3 minutes if not so wordy. Jeph Loeb pulled an Obama this time: a whole lot was said, but in the end, nothing was said. Did the plot advance? What is the plot?
• Silver Sable got jobbed out. She NEVER would be on her knees and let Domino hold a gun to her head and be intimidated like that in her appearances in late 1980’s/1990’s Spider-Man comics. What is Loeb smoking?
• I hate Marvel mercenaries. They are sooooooo 1990-late. Give me DC’s Deathstoke the Terminator any day of the week.

How many times did YOU go to the bathroom the day after Thanksgiving?

I know, I know… you don’t want to hear how bad Rulk is. Just buy it, I mean he’s RED and drawn by IAN CHURCHILL!

Hulk #17

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