Guest blogger Christian Wright, who also discovered Noah’s Ark, was besieged by reporters today because of the breaking news that a fossil of a giant sea monster was found in Peruvian desert. Leviathan Melvillei was said to have been bigger than three killer whales, and said to have lived 12-13 million years ago.
DailySkew: Christian Wright, the message board mutants and MEDIA are getting excited over the sea monster fossil. One mutant even said that the giant whale proves that God doesn’t exists because it’s too big for Noah’s Ark. How do you respond to this?
Christian Wright: I’ll tell you what I have already told CNN. Elephant tusks found in some Peru DESERT, don’t mean nothin’. Heh-heh-heh! Secondly, why do non-believers in Christ have faith in CARBON DATING, yet question the Word of the Lord in the Holy Bible? Thirdly, even if such a large creature existed, I already said that there were only 55 dinosaurs in Noah’s Ark, and that Noah did not need to bring all the different variations of species. Also this giant whale could have been swimming under the Ark if such a creature had existed.
DailySkew: Are you for real?
Christian Wright: Of course, I’m serious, you fool! These scientists aren’t for real, though. I mean, doncha love it when these Godless scientists find a jaw bone and amazingly predict that this creature was a herding, plant eating, scaly, cave-dwelling, 20 ft. tall, mud-boring and docile creature that was three times the size of a killer whale, and lived 12-13 million years ago? All from a JAW BONE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Why do you and the liberal Godless MEDIA just accept their theories on the basis that they are some sort of authority?
DailySkew: I’m speechless.
Christian Wright: Well, I’m not! Do you want to know what the true miracle is, son?
Christian Wright: That the Almighty God has put a whale in the middle of the desert! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
DailySkew: ….Any parting words?
Christian Wright: Yes, everyone go visit your local Church Fellowship, and don’t believe all of this talk about giant sea monsters in the desert proving that God doesn’t exist! On the contrary, it is yet another MIRACLE if it’s true. Clearly people want to believe Satan (science) over God. Never believe Satan!