DailySkew

Moving from New York to Florida

Moving from New York to Florida? I moved from Brooklyn, New York to South Florida in 1991. I was around 13-14. Here are just some of the differences between New York and South Florida to help better prepare you:

1) There are no boroughs in Florida, just a bunch of little cities or towns with their own police forces and city halls. Generally speaking you can pass right through each of them in 5-10 minutes in a car on the streets, and around 1-2 minutes on the highway.

2) Cars. You need one to get around in Florida. This is not an option; the public transportation is vastly inferior to New York’s ’round the clock system. Even the bus stops are inferior. There’s no subway, and the MetroRail has become the Houston Astrodome of follies. Even taxis and car services are different- much more expensive and hard to find.

3) Cost of living. Florida has a skewed cost of living, making it nigh impossible to live comfortably because the salaries are so low, but housing, rent, cars, food, and merchandise are all priced the same as New York. $70,000 a year jobs up north get converted to $30,000 jobs down here. $30,000 a year jobs get downgraded to part-time temporary assignments here. If you don’t have a real contract job lined up and you move to Florida, you are dead-meat.

4) Lack of unions. Florida is a work-for-hire state. Florida always seems trendy when it comes to lay-offs and lack of steady work. The trend has always been for companies to hire temps. Part-time work takes advantage of not paying over-time or being an “employee”. Independent contracting allows employers to forget about health insurance and other “fees”. Vacation time is optional. It’s like Florida retains a year round seasonal workforce.

5) Transients. From the cultural standpoint (which leads to mental health and levels of happiness) a huge difference is that South Floridians don’t have a shared culture or pride. At best you have “Gator fans”, “Heat fans”, or shared complaining about the Miami Dolphins. Your neighbors will switch every few months. You don’t even say “there goes the neighborhood” anymore. This lack of community spirit is a big deal; coupled with the growth of internet socializing, you can really see the shift towards people entering the Matrix.

6) Christian freaks. In New York, Jehovah’s Witnesses were very common and known to knock on your door once a month or place a copy of Watchtower in your door. In Florida, many local Christian congregations (are they even churches?) are a bit more pushy. Speaking of religion, there were more Jewish temples in New York and the other religions were much more represented up north. The closest Buddhist temple for me is in Lake Worth.

7) Newsflash: Florida is the Deep South. Although the hip-hop and ghetto trends are wanna-be New York, they are generally more like Hot-Lanta. I was called a “cracker” on my first day of school. I had to ask around for a definition. Part of being in the South is being more skewed toward agricultural economies and lifestyles than high-tech industries in NY. Being in the South also means that things aren’t as “fast paced” as in New York. There’s no sense of urgency here.

South Florida counties. In New York, the only way I knew I lived in Kings County was because of Kings Plaza and Kings County Hospital. In Florida, the counties actually rule and are the authorities when it comes to almost everything.

9) Marginalized people- in South Florida, Haitians were the group that everyone in school and bars make fun of, especially from “Black Americans” and Jamaicans. On the rare occasion you see an Asian, they generally won’t give any eye contact, so we have no idea what’s going on in their heads- probably CULTURE SHOCK. Based on water cooler talk, most people have very disturbing views towards Jews and Muslims.

10) The Latino superpowers. Cubans are the most influential Hispanic group in Dade County. Their influence spreads to politics, religion, food, and Spanish being the unofficial language in Miami-Dade. In New York, the Puerto Ricans and Dominicans rule their neighborhoods but the Cubans made Miami a New Cuba. In Broward County (cities near Fort Lauderdale), the rising Latino stars are the Venezuelans and Colombians. Generally speaking, they don’t assimilate or want to convert anything to build a satellite nation here. They simply want to send money back to their homelands and frequently travel back and forth to set up businesses and buy and rent real estate in both countries.

11) State benefits: what? Florida has been consistently low on unemployment benefits, food stamps, and disability payments.

12) Palmettos- If you are a New Yorker, you are used to your kitchen being overrun by armies of German cockroaches. If you move to Florida, I present to you the palmetto bug. These are giant-sized American cockroaches and I’ve seen some fly.

13) Gangs. New York street gangs had more structure and organization, not to mention weapons.

14) Baseball. Florida is not a baseball state.

15) Comic books. In New York, young people read comic books. When I was a Freshman down here, I met no more than 5 students in my class who shared that hobby. Same with Dungeons & Dragons and pro wrestling. Video games and PC games seem to be the only consistent hobby.

16) Hurricanes. Worse than any natural disaster NY can dish out.

17) Traffic and roads. Buy a map and practice A LOT because Florida doesn’t have the Avenue A, B, C grid layout. The streets and roads don’t have uniform names, and sometimes have two names.

18) Don’t say “Junior High School” in Florida. What planet do you come from? It’s “Middle School”. Also: it’s “Grade School” not “Elementary School”.

Okay, okay…I listed a bunch of differences and some sound bad. But I had already said that New York is overrated and New York sucks. So what are some good things about moving to Florida from New York?

• Crime rate is lower when it comes to murder and mugging
• Weather is much warmer, plus no snow
• Much cheaper to buy property
• Easier to hide from police since the sheriffs are so localized and lack the resources
• Highway tolls are a lot cheaper and SunPass rules
• If you are a loner and hate people, you can rest assured no one will bother you
• Beach bum’s paradise
• Great place if you like tanned blonde chicks
• Dance clubs
• Grass- some cities have excellent trees and bushes and in general look a lot more clean than NY streets

You do the math.

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