To Do List
Back when I was around 11-12 years old, I saw one panel in Incredible Hulk, written by Peter David and drawn by Todd McFarlane that stayed with me until now. The main villain, The Leader, had a “To Do List” on a futuristic palm pilot tablet device (before they came out in real life). His “Things to Do List” had every step of his day planned out, and it was very evil, like “Lie to Rock and Redeemer” and culminated in him detonating a gamma bomb in the heart of a city.
But the truth is, our lives are very mundane. Here’s a cross section of some To Do Lists I have uncovered from ordinary people.
The Old Small Business Owner
- Get up at 6:00AM and let the dogs out
- Read newspaper
- Drive to work
- Check out the woman by the bustop
- Unlock office door and disarm alarm system
- Put the lights on
- Check email
- Wait for phone to ring
- Brew some coffee
- Surf net
The Unemployed Computer Guy
- Get up at 12:45 PM
- Turn monitor on to see if torrents finished downloading from last night
- Play favorite porn and rub one off
- Take whiz and dump
- Eat cold pizza and grape soda for brunch
- Surf web while listening to music
- Eat lunch
- File for unemployment online three days late
- Put pants on
- Go to grocery store to buy lottery tickets
The Craigslist Escort
- Call T-Ractor and ask that boy if he post my ad 20 times today
- Go to Mom so she can watch Jen
- Drive to the Econolodge near the casino and chill at the hotel until T-Ractor call
- Stop at the corner store and buy condoms and KY Jelly
- Get food
- Watch Fresh Prince at hotel and wait fo T-Ractor call
- Service old fat white dude
- Service old fat white dude
- Service old fat white dude
- Brush teeth
The Pot Head
- Call Ian to see if he has any new sh–, bro
- Call D to see if she has the new sh–, dude
- Drive around looking for new sh–, man
- Go to Blockbuster and return DVDs
- Pay partial rent to f— up landlady
- Call Ian to see if he has any new sh–, bro
- Call D to see if she has the new sh–, dude
- Drive around looking for new sh–, man
- Taco Bell drive through
- Get cash from ATM
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