Written by Damian Hospital on 03 November 2009
Continuing Damian Hospital’s Enneagram Series (see Ennegram One and Enneagram Two and Enneagram 1 Case Studies) the Enneagram Type 3 is dissected.
My personal experiences and thoughts on Enneagram Type 3’s:
Most Type 3’s I’ve met have an abundance of manic energy, and are concerned about their image and bank accounts. Their emotions are fake. There’s not a whole lot genuine things about them. They are cocky, arrogant, condensing, and believe in the “by any means necessary” dogma.
That’s not to say they are like that all the time or are one-dimensional: sometimes when they CRASH they will confess their doubts and insecurities to someone they trust, but ultimately even that act is one motivated in manipulation and being in charge. That being said, Threes are necessary and very influential in all of our lives.
Healthy Threes have the ability to focus all of that motivation into some of the greatest achievements in human history. They are natural born leaders and achievers, the cream of the crop, the antithesis of a slacker. Even if they don’t create a new paradigm or make an impact on history, they are the master planners and big-wigs in any industry. Unlike Type 8’s (The Leader and Challenger) Type 3’s are usually less direct and use well-thought out strategies to become CEOs or Presidents, while Type 8’s are based on animal instincts and the pragmatic cleverness to keep everything simple. Type 3’s are not simple. Everything they do is part of some greater plan.
In many ways, we as United States citizens are all expected to emulate Type 3’s. We are expected to work overtime, to have hobbies that generate passive incomes or to network “friends”, to have a big house and 2.5 children and a dog, to be married, and to have opinions (and plans) about the world around us. Type 3’s are all about self-improvement, but unlike Type Fours, they create false images, feelings, and treat everyone like foot soldiers in their war on some industry.
Indeed, to be partners with a Type 3 in business means that all of your “enemies” will be crushed, heavy amounts of cash will flow, and you must be the best you can be…until the Type 3 switches projects and industries after burning out or burning bridges. The U.S. military is a Type 3.
Type 3’s have the weight of the world on their shoulders and they thrive on it because their true identity is hidden underneath their illusions. They build their huge egos to protect them from everything; they feel they are supermen or symbols.
I’ve never met a truly healthy Three in real life. I’ve read about them in history books or read about fictional healthy Three’s like Captain America, Superman, or Lt Commander Data. Instead I have been exposed to average or unhealthy Threes in real life. Take a look at some famous Type 3’s and see the pattern: Vince McMahon, Jr., Hulk Hogan, Alex Rodriguez (A-Rod), Roger Clemens, Adolf Hitler, and Hillary Clinton. They all were concerned about their IMAGE and ACHIEVEMENT in sports or politics. They had to be the BEST. It didn’t matter how that was achieved. They make deals with the devil to achieve their dreams. The lies, the illegal activity, the false faces- none of that matters because they believe THEIR needs outweigh YOUR needs, and that you lack the mental capacity to see the big picture.
From the romantic side of things, Type 3’s are very attractive because they show off their power and materialism. Some are downright charming and act personable, but note my choice of words- “act”. EVERYTHING is an act. For many in life, trying to get to the “real Three” is like Ahab and the White Whale, but that won’t stop them. Some people in relationships always try to reform and see the good side of their partner. Good luck with Type Threes. Yes, all personality types cheat on their mate. But the Enneagram Type 3 can be deceitful and lie without losing any sleep over it. The deceit comes naturally and quickly. They lie about their past jobs achievements if their resumes were a little light. Does an Enneagram Type 3 flirt? You betcha!
It’s a fact that Enneagram Type Fours and Enneagram Type Three don’t get a long because a Type 4 can detect the emotional ingenuity INSTANTLY. Granted, there have been and always will be Type 3 and Type 4 partnerships, but they are generally based on a focused goal to achieve something.
I admit that I have an inside track on an Enneagram Three. He is a close relative, that’s all I can say about who he is. What I have learned from him is to display confidence when I go on job interviews, to project my voice, to smile, and to dress well. All of those things have meaning in a society such as ours. But when it comes from being an attentive husband or dad or relative, that’s where this guy falls short. His whole life is dedicated to working tirelessly to support an extravagant lifestyle and to be accepted by his peers or by his perceived authority figures. What is love to him? This person has reinvented himself dozens of times in his life- switching careers, religions, physical looks, etc. Each time he did it, I was supposed to forget about the previous identities and they were not allowed to be mentioned again. He only deals with people whom he perceives to have some sort of utility to his grand scheme. The last time I ever had a meaningful conversation with him was about him purchasing stocks.
Again, that’s not to say all Threes are evil. They have their uses- they take charge in social situations and can give you a natural high- in small doses. The bottom line is that if you take it to another level, let it be marriage or business partner or work relationship- you will get burned. Threes idealize women and compare them to their mother, whom they see as a saint or martyr. Female Threes do the same with their dads. They have the potential to be heroes or world builders, but also have the potential to be villains and world destroyers. Threes have dreams and when they are not realized they becomes self-destructive or will destroy you.
If there is one rule of thumb with Enneagram Type 3’s: Never trust them completely.
The Three, also called The Achiever, is adaptable, ambitious, image-conscious, and hostile.
Key motivations: Want to feel valuable. To be affirmed. To have attention and distinguish themselves. To impress and to be admired.
Healthy Threes: Self-assured and energetic. High self-esteem. They believe in themselves and their own value. Adaptable, well-adjusted, attractive, and popular. Realistic. Ambitious to improve themselves. To “be all they can be”. Outstanding. The human ideal, embodiment of ideal qualities. High-spirited, goal-orientated, persistent. Effective and industrious. Authentic. Genuine. Modest. Benevolent. Childlike innocent. Inner-directed. Well-known “Healthy Threes” -Christopher Reeve, Tony Robbins, New York Yankees franchise.
Average Threes: Highly concerned with performance, doing the job well, being superior, and rising above others in status. Compare themselves with others in search of success. Driven for career advancement, and being a “winner”. Value social climbing. Highly concerned about the way they are perceived. Present themselves according to expectations of others, and what they need to do in order to be successful. Efficient and pragmatic, yet lose touch with their own feelings beneath a smooth facade. Problems with intimacy. Desire to impress others with their superiority. Constantly promote themselves, making them sound better than what they really are. Delusions of grandiosity. Seductive and exhibitionistic. Arrogant and resentful against those who are jealous of their success.
Unhealthy Threes: Fearing failure and humiliation, they misrepresent themselves, changing the truth. Modify the reality of their accomplishments. Unprincipled. Will do “whatever it takes” to preserve the illusions of their success. Envious of the success of others. Exploitative, opportunistic, yet so deceptive so their wrongdoing and mistakes will not be exposed. Liar. Extreme hostility. Delusional. Betrayer and sabotage. Murderer. Obsessive to destroy what they cannot triumph over.
Similar Posts:
DailySkew RANDOM Posts:
Posted in Enneagram, psychology | No Comments »
