DailySkew

August 1988: At age 11, Hospital started to ply his wrestling skills by challenging and defeating older kids at “mercy” on Sistrunk Blvd. This was at first, harmless fun. But as his mercy prowess grew, he started challenging senior citizen and unemployed men at mercy. At stake-their social security checks and foodstamps. Hospital defeated so many of these underpriveleged, that he was reported to the Medicaid agency.

At age 11, Hospital would clear about $331 per day in the form of much needed disability checks and foodstamps. The last straw was when he shattered the wrists of a 61-year old homeless man. The police came and a witness pointed the finger at Hospital. Hospital became enraged and grabbed a stick of government cheese that he had won from the 61-year old. This type of cheese is long, very hard and very yellow. Hospital slammed the government cheese into the spine of Johnny Mimms and shattered his vertebrae between c4 and c5. Mimms, a 47-year old unemployed, aspiring ballroom dancer, would never dance again.

September 1990: Age 13, after a local wrestling show at Taravella High School, Hospital posed as a pro wrestler. He told patrons that he would teach them how to properly execute a suplex for free. One patron, Charles Clemm, a 39-year old tow truck driver from North Lauderdale, took up his offer. Hospital said he would suplex Clemm onto a mat. The problem was the suplex occured on a 1/2 inch thick yoga mat on the asphalt of the parking lot. Clemm had a ruptured kidney and Hospital drove off with his towtruck.

March 1992: Age 15, after watching a video about the Von Erich family, Hospital and friend baby Kuma Roberts ran barefoot into a park in upscale Parkland. They ran towards a family reunion picnic and proceeded to drop kick John Thames, 37, Rily Thames, 58, and Lester Thames, 79. Three generations went down in 3 dropkicks.

April 1993: Age 16, while waiting at a bus stop, 51-year old baker elio hechanova gave hospital the evil eye for no reason. hospital then applied a half nelson to the portly cuban man, partially rupturing elio’s goiter on his neck. hospital then finished with a belly to belly suplex on the bus stop bench, puncturing the portly man’s spleen.

July 1994: Age 17, Hospital had lunch at the Beverly Hills Cafe. While he was leaving the cafe, he overheard 67-year old Morli Lipschitz commenting that the Aeinfeld show was a slap to Jews. Hospital then delivered a forearm shiver to the retired Jupiter Island podiatrist.

November 1994: Age 17, Hospital finished dining at the char hut. The Haitan cashier, 19-year old Ricky Jean Francois accidentaly gave Hospital incorrect change. Hospital demanded the rest of his money. Ricky Jean laughed and shrugged. Hospital then applied an iron claw to Francois’s face. After 4 long minutes, Hospital released the hold. This disturbed Ricky Jean so much, that he rode a raft BACK to Haiti.