Review: Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973)
Godzilla vs Megalon is arguably the most watched Godzilla movie of all time (unless you count the U.S. 1998 Godzilla movie, which didn’t have our Godzilla in it), due to actually being released in the U.S. theaters in 1976 after being in Japan since 1973, a healthy run in syndication, and being infamously repeated in Mystery Science Theater 3000. When most non-fans think of Godzilla they think of this movie.
Unfortunately for Godzilla fans, such as myself, it also happens to be the worst Godzilla movie of all time (at least for the ones I have reviewed so far, i.e. a lot).
I was crying for Joel and Crow T. Robot to save me from this movie, which was originally not even a Godzilla movie. A kid won a contest creating a robot, which Toho named Jet Jaguar. Then Toho got scared because they feared Jet Jaguar vs. Megalon (a new giant cockroach monster) wouldn’t sell tickets, so they added Godzilla, the good guy. To protest this movie, I am only using MST3K clips in this review.
The Plot
Lord in Heaven, what were they thinking? Back in the 1970’s people were into Atlantis and another the hollow-earth theory, i.e. there is another earth/civilization under the crust. So in this script, the civilization is Seatopia, and they have to do with Mu, the “lost continuent” and the Easter Island heads, and date back an astonishing 3 million years.
They wake up a dung beetle giant monster called Megalon to attack Japan for its nuclear testing (uhm….I think the U.S. or U.S.S.R would have been better targets), which has been disturbing the environment with earthquake tremors.
Anyway, the plot gets worse and worse, and harder and harder to follow, I wish the MST3K puppets were with me to explain it. It centers around a scientist, his young kiddie brother with short shorts, and another guy. There are bad guys from Seatopia. The inventor made a robot named Jet Jaguar, who the Seatopians want. Jet Jaguar rebels against his would-be controllers and fights Megalon and the summoned space monster Gigan, from the last movie. Megalon had beat up Angillus (who once again couldn’t seem to fight back).
Around 40+ minutes into the film Godzilla comes in, does his Muhammad Ali shuffle, teams up with Jet Jaguar and finally have a tag team showdown vs Megalon and Gigan. The last scene fight is the most funny, and the only time I enjoyed the movie.
The Good
- Cure for insomnia found.
- Megalon destroying the dam was a good miniature and special effect.
The Bad
- Worst plot, acting, entertainment of any Godzilla movie.
- The human plot was ridiculous, mind-numbing, slow, boring, poorly paced, AND took up the bulk of the move.
- If you watch clips or read plot summaries about the movie or see MST3K jokes, you’d think this movie was funny in a campy way like All Monsters Attack (1969), but the truth is the plot is supposed be a serious mystery. Only the last battle is blatenly campy (Godzilla’s two drop kicks, the two evil monsters communicating with each other, Jet Jaguar and Godzilla shaking hands, etc). The rest of the movie actually tries to take itself seriously…very frustrating.
- Stock footage from around 10 monster movies.
The Ugly
- Megalon and Jet Jaguar’s costumes. Of course, Godzilla’s costume was embarrassing.
- Jet Jaguar reprogramming himself to grow into a giant robot.
- The misleading U.S. movie posters showing Godzilla and Megalon in the Twin Towers. All of the action occurred in Japan.
- Baaaaaaad 1970’s car chases- sped up and reversed film, random crashes, too LONG, etc.
- The special effects and low budget costumes were worse than 1970’s TV shows.
- No extras (to save money). Just 9 actors plus guys in rubber suits.
- That little kid…another homoerotic kiddie in a Godzilla movie…bad stuff, man.
Fun Facts
- Godzilla went on to appear in a TV series called Zone Fighter after this movie. I watched a number of episodes but will not review them because I didn’t have any English subtitles, and my Japanese is limited (only from Godzilla movies). I will say that Zone Fighter was 100% more fun than this…it was a funny Power Rangers on 1970’s TV sets. Great stuff because it was openly campy.
- It was the first Godzilla movie to sell under a million tickets in Japan. That should have been yet another sign to Toho to stop and make a new gameplan for the character, but…they didn’t.
Conclusion
Bomb. A great candidate for the worst Godzilla movie ever (at least bottom 3), and an excellent candidate for one of the worst movies ever put on film. Again…when you see the clips you may think the whole movie was supposed to be campy…but it wasn’t. It was more like a cheap 1970’s bad action movie with very few monster battles. MST3K version is better, but only if you see it at night-time (real late), and are..uh….in a good mood.
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Thats some song at the end.
I can just picture the guy singing it in a studio.
they should have included footage of that in this film, that would have made it even better.
whatever happened to this “jet jaguar” character?
did they make more movies of did this whole thing never take off?
if not it was probably because of that song.
Joel Hodgeson is a genius.
google cinematic titanic for the new stuff hes doing.
I meant to say or instead of of:
did they make more movies OR did this whole thing never take off?
Believe it or not, Jet Jaguar never had his own movie, TV,cartoon, or comic book after this.
This movie was his first and only appearance!
**
I checked out cinematictitanic.com..and watched all the trailers..nice to see Joel is still at it, although I miss the robots.
The singer is Masato Shimon. Click on my name to see him perform the #1 top selling greatest single in the history of Japan- even until this day (Guinness World Record).
Yum….fish cookies. Where’s the rabbi? That song sounds like a Jewish festival.
I clicked on that clip.
the guy looks even goofier than I thought he would.
a dude with a 70’s afro and extra wide collar standing behind a huge pile of fish patties, surrounded by twenty or thirty people who clap in unison to keep the beat while others eat fish in the background and the cameraman pans to the pile of fish every now and then.
that must be some quality television progaraming over there in japan.
its late and I just got off work, so Im kinda tired.
Ive seen stuff like this in weird dreams ive had after drinking too much cough syrup, and would wake up sweaty.
I had to watch this clip twice just to make sure of what I saw.
and yes Damian – it did remind me of something I might see at a cousin’s barmitzvah except everybody was japanese
Thanks to Goro-san for linking it up.
you dont see something like that everyday.
I guess after two atomic bombs and getting attacked by Godzilla and friends every year, the quality of music changed into having this afro guy their #1 singer of all time.
I laughed when he ate the fish patty at the end..it’s like he did something illegal, and was ashamed to do it on TV.
that’s the guy who did the Star Wars one too (click on me). i luv it!
wow.
goofy seventies star wars theme with a blaring horn section, disco beat and lazer noises sung by some afroed japenese dude with his own lyrics.
I wonder if lucas sued him.
after hearing that monstrosity I wish he would have.
the bast part is when he says “Star WARS!” in the begining.
the rest of it I could have done without.
Tough crowd!