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Russia will claim Artic for resources


Soviet Premier Vladimir Putin has released this proclamation on Soviet TV yesterday, on the heels of the Russian Stock Market Crash:
We must finalize and adopt a federal law on the southern border of Russia’s Arctic zone. This is our responsibility, and simply our direct duty, to our descendants. We must surely, and for the long-term future, secure Russia’s interests in the Arctic. This region has strategic significant for us. Its development is directly tied to solving the long-term tasks of the state and its competitiveness on global markets.

Global warming has been good for Russia, good for the people, melting its vast icy territories has revealed previously inaccessible oil and gas reserves.

There is no question that most of the Arctic is in Russian territory since an underwater ridge links Siberia to the North Pole’s seabed. We will be prepared to do whatever is necessary to secure our future.

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2 Responses to “Russia will claim Artic for resources”

  1. r.a.w. says:

    screw russia’s economy.
    what about ours?

  2. Lily Fields says:

    Putin is hot.

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