Angel Jimenez reviews Star Wars The Clone Wars Movie
Guest Blogger: Angel Jimenez rips Star Wars
If George Lucas had any respectability left as a creative genius, it was all lost this week as critics have seen the stink-fest called The Clone Wars. I am ashamed to say that all of Lucas’s previous bad movies were somewhat enjoyable to me- especially after a 6-pack and a [Edited] on a Friday night.
But this movie? A clone a clone of a clone? This rehash (didn’t we see this on the Cartoon Network) is trying to fill a story gap when there simply was no opening. The “movie” flows like a PlayStation 3 video game- lightsaber battles, generic dialog, and kid-funny moments. This is not an epic story. In fact, this story did not have to be told at all.
Can you say straight to DVD? Actually-can you say: it should have been put on StarWars.com for FREE? They hired a John Williams clone. They hired clones of the original voice actors. Pale imitations. Made in Singapore.
Yes folks this is the new George Lucas, although the old one was overrated. too. Post-Jedi, all of his films have been all style with no substance. The script is loaded with baby-talk that would offend and disgust even his most loyal 35-year old GEEKS.
Look, nobody cares anymore. We’ve seen the Storm Troopers miss thousands of times now. There’s nothing new here. The new Soul Calibur video game probably has more depth than this movie. The fight scenes take up the bulk of the running time.
Yes, nostalgia is a big seller. It worked for the 2nd trilogy from the sales end (NOT the quality end). Yet this CGI monster never feels like a Star Wars movie (not that they were any good, but still…) The opening crawl is replaced by a voice over, and no one says “I have a bad feeling about this.” The theme song has been forgotten, replaced by a new electric guitar beat that feels from a 1998 toy commercial.
The landscapes are straight out of a developer’s PC game application. The characters are stiff, like 1990’s video game home systems. They look like wooden puppets. In other words, the CGI is overrated.
Crap. Crap. Crap. Batman & Robin class. At least the “Star Wars Holiday Special“- previously regarded as the worst spin-off in the Star Wars universe- had some… charm. You will long for the ill-fated Ewok series.
Yeah, I know the routine- I bash a movie and DailySkew people like Vahl and Dark Truths are going to see it with their kids, and come back and tell Damian “It wasn’t that bad”.
“It wasn’t that bad.”
Yeah, right.
Yeah, for a 5-year old. A 5-year old that can’t distinguish quality when he or she smells it. It’s more of a marketing scheme than anything else.
True Star Wars fans will realize that Lucas is marketing the new franchise and TV series to KIDS. These 30+ men will feel old, and that all that data and trivia that they stored in their memory banks is…useless.
Go ahead..see it. We’re in a recession, but you just HAVE to pay to see this train wreck of a movie, which currently has a 22% rating on RT. Feed your addiction. Maybe, you just may move BEYOND Star Wars and file it away like a childhood toy, which is all it really was.
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Hey Angel. How's it going?
I was just writing in to let you know that I wasn't planning to see this movie in theatres. I wasn't planning to see it when it came out to blockbuster either. Dollar movie rental…maybe then. From what I've seen of the movie I have been greatly disappointed with the way the characters have disassociated themselves from the other 6 movies. The cartoony feel of the movie was something that disappointed me greatly.
Come on, man! Their cruising the galaxy in search of Jabba the Hutt's kid? Who the freak cares!
Has everyone forgotten that in Empire and Return Jabba imprisons Han and Leia? That he puts a bounty on Han? That he's a ruthless scumbag that dies at the hands of Leia, Anakin's daughter? Couldn't we have introduced a new character into the Star Wars fold?
No…
Lucas wants his universe to be closed. Like a grand scale Star Wars The Sims Game. All the characters are familiar and constantly interact with each other, over and over and over and over…
Here, lets throw more continuity crap into the story, never mind that it total throws the original storyline into a f(*^ing tail spin and crashing into the moon of Endor and kills a bunch of f(*&ing ewoks, that don't sing now because of Lucas and his grand ideas.
"Oh look at that! Wheres the old Anakin? Who the f*%$ is this young kid!" Is it a matter of time before they replace Alec Guiness with Ewan McGregor, and hey, lets throw in Liam Neeson as well.
Go to hell George Lucas. You money grubbing story hater. Just write yourself out of the Star Wars continuity like Rick Berman did to Star Trek.
I wasnt planning on seeing this movie either,
is he doing another star wars movie?
i didnt even know about it.
I started hating lucas ever since I laid eyes on jar-jar-binks.
my only question about lucas is why cant he make up something else?
it doesnt have to be science fiction, just anything.
instead he makes a good movie initially, and milks it dry by adding sequel after sequel for 20 to 30 years, until everybody hates him for ruining the reputation of his original good work.
lucas is his own worst enemy.
maybe in his next “star wars” movie he can have an epic light saber battle with himself.
the young talented lucas that originally made the first trilogy of star wars movies, versus the old sellout lucas who has turned to the darkside in an attempt to cash in at the cost of destroying the reputation of the original series.
it could called
“star wars – the attack of the revenge of lucas’s clone empire” or something like that,
i dunno, i guess im just rambling now.
lucas blows.
probably wouldnt have seen it anyway
I agree, RAW, this stuff is for little boys now.
i hated the original anyway. so LAME and GAY
I really wish I knew if Lucas actually took this SHIT seriously, or realizes he’s CASHING IN on SHIT for all these years.
Just got back…it was fine, don’t know what everyone was expecting.
Screw you, Angel. Try SEEING the movie first before your review it.
Oh, and Samuel L. Jackson, Anthony Daniels, Christopher Lee all give their voices.
My five year old daughter thought that this is the best film she’s ever seen. And when I watched this, I felt the magic!
Let’s go METS!
As a Star Wars fan, I am very pleased with how this turned out and I will be watching every Friday night when this series starts in October. Can’t wait to see what adventures my favorite characters will go on next. I’m happy! And if you do want to see it, see it now! This is going to be a huge flop which is too bad. I don’t know what people were expecting, but it deserves better than how it’s getting received.
Call me crazy, but I liked “Clone Wars” more than any of the recent live-action films.
Crazy.
Who ever you are your a idiotic tool
Star Wars was always aimed at kids not adults.It took years to create the 1st 3 and we all started to grow up. By the time the prequels came out
We were all drawing off the warm memories of the 1st 3 And when jar jar showed up you were reminded that you have grown up a lot and their popularity started to wane, and even so now you hope that the childhood feelings will return but they won’t so you gotta be the man and try to crush someone who was on top He was on the cutting edge of everything we see in movies today so piss off you wanker Star Wars was and always will be for the kids.