LME’s Guide to Leaving Home Early from Work
GET OUT OF WORK EARLY
You’re stuck in an office for 8 hours or more all week. Such is the fate that has befallen millions of people in the world. Creative excuses are necessary, but when one runs out of creativity, boring excuses are still welcomed because they are can be so generic that your boss knows you couldn’t be that dumb to make a lame lie.
Here’s a list of excuses…
- Beat the traffic
- Haircut
- Pick kids up from school
- Internet is down
- Weather’s great for golf
- The front office left for the day
- pick up car from dealership
- wife is pregnant, possibly in labor
- gonna be late for my flight
- kids are sick
- I am sick
- my mom is sick
- my uncle died
- old relative is dying
- meet with accountant
- waiting for cable/satellite guy
- waiting for roofers
- need to be at home for plumber
- paperwork needs to be filed
- court appearance
- pay the Clerk of Court
- Driver’s license
- pet needs to go to vet
- explosive diarrhea
- pick kids up from school
- pay water bill
- pick up family at airport
- go to post office
- oil change
- physical therapy
- allergies, those darn allergies…
- no sleep previous night
- getting divorced
- house being foreclosed
Brought to you by Lazy Man’s Ethics ™ with a quick assist from DarkTruths.
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WOW!
A quick and efficient list for when I need a fool-proof excuse.
I’m forever indebted.
How about these for the holiday season.
The wife needs the car.
The store is about to close.
I need to get gas.
I need to pick up groceries.
I need to let the landlord in.
Medical appointment.
I need to pick up my supply of HGH.
I need to stop at the ATM before I pick up my supply of HGH.
if none of those excuses work,
then you could always fall back to “Plan-B”
which is:
step 1:
open a can of vegetable soup swig a mouthful of it, but dont swallow it.
*(it is very important that nobody sees you do this or the plan will backfire on you)
step 2:
act woozy and dizzy and wait for someone to ask you if youre alright.
step 3:
At that moment spit all of it out on the floor or desk while making a gutteral noise.
step 4:
cough two times immediately afterwards for added affect.
Theyll send you right home, no questions asked.
Thats a little tip from me to you.
Always have a can of vegetable soup with you and remember Plan-B kids.
Whether youre on a bad date, dont want to give a speech, or you just want them to let you off the airplane-
its a surefire way out of any uncomfortable situation when you just want to go home and the best part is it works every time.
I’m speechless…now I’m laughing.
I’m very anxious to follow your plan one day, R.A.W. Thanks for the excellent addition.