You’re stuck in an office for 8 hours or more all week. Such is the fate that has befallen millions of people in the world. Creative excuses are necessary, but when one runs out of creativity, boring excuses are still welcomed because they are can be so generic that your boss knows you couldn’t be that dumb to make a lame lie.
Here’s a list of excuses…
- Beat the traffic
- Haircut
- Pick kids up from school
- Internet is down
- Weather’s great for golf
- The front office left for the day
- pick up car from dealership
- wife is pregnant, possibly in labor
- gonna be late for my flight
- kids are sick
- I am sick
- my mom is sick
- my uncle died
- old relative is dying
- meet with accountant
- waiting for cable/satellite guy
- waiting for roofers
- need to be at home for plumber
- paperwork needs to be filed
- court appearance
- pay the Clerk of Court
- Driver’s license
- pet needs to go to vet
- explosive diarrhea
- pick kids up from school
- pay water bill
- pick up family at airport
- go to post office
- oil change
- physical therapy
- allergies, those darn allergies…
- no sleep previous night
- getting divorced
- house being foreclosed
Brought to you by Lazy Man’s Ethics ™ with a quick assist from DarkTruths.
WOW!
A quick and efficient list for when I need a fool-proof excuse.
I’m forever indebted.
How about these for the holiday season.
The wife needs the car.
The store is about to close.
I need to get gas.
I need to pick up groceries.
I need to let the landlord in.
Medical appointment.
I need to pick up my supply of HGH.
I need to stop at the ATM before I pick up my supply of HGH.
if none of those excuses work,
then you could always fall back to “Plan-B”
which is:
step 1:
open a can of vegetable soup swig a mouthful of it, but dont swallow it.
*(it is very important that nobody sees you do this or the plan will backfire on you)
step 2:
act woozy and dizzy and wait for someone to ask you if youre alright.
step 3:
At that moment spit all of it out on the floor or desk while making a gutteral noise.
step 4:
cough two times immediately afterwards for added affect.
Theyll send you right home, no questions asked.
Thats a little tip from me to you.
Always have a can of vegetable soup with you and remember Plan-B kids.
Whether youre on a bad date, dont want to give a speech, or you just want them to let you off the airplane-
its a surefire way out of any uncomfortable situation when you just want to go home and the best part is it works every time.
I’m speechless…now I’m laughing. :-) I’m very anxious to follow your plan one day, R.A.W. Thanks for the excellent addition.
Darn allergies…*pops a antihistamine quickly*
I love that Paige……maybe we should have our ladies group start praying for all of us to start itching and sneezing when we meet someone we need to run from! That would be AWESOME! At the moment, I'm afraid I would be running from everyone! Darn allergies!
I GOT A SHIRT YESTERDAY THAT SAYS, “I TRADED MY BOYFRIEND IN FOR A PUPPY.” WISH THEY WOULD HAVE HAD ENOUGH OR ME TO GET EVERYONE ONE. I'M ABOUT TO START MY OWN POSSE FOR ALL OF US WITH ALLERGY PROBLEMS.
Your package is at your post office, waiting for you to pick it up.
Could be various reasons why it wasn't delivered to your mail box, such as it was too large, you have a PO Box, needs a signature for delivery, your post office doesn't have carrier routes, etc.
Call them first, and ask if they have it there.
I assume he still had to pay for what he took home, so how is him going to a farm and killing a chicken, pig and goat any better than someone else doing it and selling it to him? Hell, the people at the farm would probably have done it more humanely anyways.
This whole thing is an enormous jumble. Maybe it's a metaphor for the inherently confusing & chaotic nature of travel? Maybe Bella re-enacting her mother's precipitous flight is an allegory for leaving home? Nah, she's just a narcissistic twit. And a cockblocker to boot! A luscious, warm piece of cockblocking jailbait for the undead. How … promising?
Following tradition seems to be the lazy man's way of living – following without having to decide issues for yourself. If we are to search, ponder and pray, and lay hold upon every good thing, then we need to look at beliefs and traditions and follow the ones we have come to know for ourselves are correct, not follow blindly because our parents did.