DailySkew’s 2007 Year in Review
2007 Skew Review
Damian Hospital 12-31-2007
Going into 2007, Tony Vahl and I had high expectations that the Year of the Pig would be a year of chaos and unpredictability. Sure enough, we were correct. Below is a list of some events from 2007:
Politics
- The battle for Presidential nomination started at the earliest point ever. Candidates have been using the Internet more than ever to spread their message, and live debates gave YouTube all the recognition and validity it needed to be an instant way to reach out to the people.
- New Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi sure set expectations high that the Democrats would put this nation back on course after taking over Congress.
- Senator Larry Craig got busted in a men’s restroom, and denied making homosexual advances to an undercover policeman. Former male prostitutes or other men Larry came onto in the past have since come out, to verify that he is gay, but Larry stands firm that it was all a misunderstanding.
- President George W. Bush: his popularity is the lowest for any president, and many senior advisers resigned from his administration. I will not waste anymore space talking about all the things GW and his cronies did this year.
Crime
- Shootings grabbed headlines- from Virgina Tech to children’s school to a mall. In all cases, the Internet played a key as a forum for the killers’ rants. And the MEDIA had a field day with it.
- The MEDIA still focused and gave way too much attention to missing persons and alleged kidnappings for certain families. The MEDIA has continued to pick-and-choose who gets the coverage. MEANWHILE, thousands of others never get MEDIA attention because they are not marketable enough.
- O.J. Part II.
- Craigslist and MySpace’s murder, rape, kidnapping, and prostitution rates have increased.
Global
- China has been accidentally poisoning and exporting toys and dog food to the United States.
- China has been testing long-range missiles, and space weapons.
- China continues to execute government officials and dissenters.
- The military regime in Myanmar severely beat and arrested protesters, many of them monks. The world shrugs.
- The President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, continued to have a pissing contest with the West over its right to harness and produce nuclear energy. He had threated to destroy Israel several times, but always denies it when speaking to Western reporters. His public Iranian speeches always contain his threats that he would destroy the West, but he seems to change his tune when talking to the U.N.
- An earthquake in Japan released 300 gallons of radioactive water into the sea. Can Godzilla be far behind, now?
- Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize and two Oscars for spreading the word about the dangers of Global Warming.
- Pakistan’s President Pervez Musharraf was forced to step down as military leader, but was sworn in as a civilian president. He has been losing control all year.
- The death tolls and unrest due to the war in Iraq has increased.
- Bombings in Iraq and Israel are commonplace.
- Boris Yelstin passed away.
- So did Jerry Falwell, Lady Bird Johnson, Tammy Faye Bakker, Ingmar Bergmann, Tom Synder, Bill Walsh, Hank Bauer, Joel Siegel, Clete Boyer, Phil Rizzuto, Merv Griffin, Leona Helmsley, Richard Jewell, Pavarotti, Jane Wyman, Norman Mailer, Evel Knievel, and millions more.
- War in Somalia: And still going…
- Hong Kong continued to create laws to be environmentally-friendly, now that it is a economic superpower.
- Doomsday Clock was set to 5 minutes to midnight. Alan Moore smiles.
- Microsoft released Vista and became under fire for forcing this operating system on all new Dells and other computers instead of Windows XP or a “blank” system.
- Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez was granted the power to rule by decree, publicly attacked capitalism and democracy, allied with Cuba and Iran, and unsuccessfully tried to rewrite the constitution.
- Russian leader Vladamir Putin has been headed back to his KGB roots…
- Osama still releases video tapes.
- British leader Tony Blair resigned.
- The Euro is worth more than the U.S. dollar.
- Military police in Brasil massacred a bunch of criminals.
- Greece was plagued with heatwaves and fires.
- Apple’s IPhone took the world by storm.
- Dubai is the in-vogue place to invest in real estate and visit- just don’t commit any crimes there…or get raped.
- Former Pakistani Prime Minister Bhutto was assassinated.
Pop Culture
- Harry Potter is still hot.
- Pirates of the Caribbean is a FRANCHISE.
- Ana Nicole Smith…why did her death get so much MEDIA attention?
- American Idol took a major hit in ratings and relevancy. So did most TV shows.
- The music recording industry has turned to the Internet to try and make profits, after experiencing record lows in CD sales.
- Network television has been offering free TV shows online for the same reasons.
- Spider-Man 3 grossed a world-wide total of $890,871,626, yet other Marvel movies (Ghost Rider, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Surfer) weren’t as hot.
- Michael Moore’s Sicko opened a lot of eyes about the U.S. healthcare system.
- The Transformers live action movie made over $300,000,000 in the U.S. TMNT wasn’t even close.
- Don Imus was fired for making racial jokes on air.
- He eventually got a new show.
- Bob Barker retired from the Price is Right. Was replaced by Drew Carey.
- Led Zeppelin reunited.
- Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen still running strong.
- Britney Spears is officially recognized by the MEDIA as being done.
Comic Books
Marvel
- Winter Soldier (Bucky Barnes) is the new Captain America, after Steve Rogers was assassinated by Crossbones, who was hired by the Red Skull.
- With the world knowing that Peter Parker is Spider-Man, the Kingpin put a hit on Aunt May. With Aunt May dying, Peter made a deal with the Devil (Mephisto) to save her life. The deal: Peter’s marriage and memories of love for Mary Jane Watson would be erased from continuity. Mary Jane also makes a deal with the Devil to erase Spider-Man from ever removing his mask in public. So: everything is back to status quo. Harry Osborn (Green Goblin) is also back in this new Marvel time-line, since he would have never died if Peter and Marry got married.
- Tony Stark (Iron Man), who, for all intents and purposes, had been portrayed as a villain (George Bush style) in 2006, is now in charge of S.H.I.E.L.D., and has a movie coming out next year.
DC
- DC has continued to fill in details about it’s New Earth and New Multiverse. It is NOT the same as the old multiverse, and many fans are still confused, complain..but still buy the comics.
- The Anti-Monitor has returned, and former Green Lantern Kyle Raynor is Parallax.
Professional Wrestling
- John Cena was given a huge WWE Champion’s push for the most of the year, defeating all comers, but was sidelined with an injury. Women and kids love him; guys hate him.
- Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker are still Main Eventers.
- A week after Vince McMahon faked his own death for ratings, Chris Benoit killed his wife Nancy (former valet) and son, before committing suicide. This was the #1 pro wrestling story of the year.
- Other deaths: Bam Bam Bigelow, Bad News Brown, Ernie Ladd, Mike Awesome, Arnold Skaaland, John Cronus, and more….
- Keywords: Vince McMahon, Congress, steroids, MEDIA, drugs
- Hulk Hogan and his wife Linda filed for “divorce” after their son Nick got involved in a DUI, seriously injuring his friend, whose parents are suing the Hogans.
- Chris Jericho returned, after publishing his awesome autobiography.
- Bret Hart published his tell-all autobiography in Canada.
- The growing popularity of Mixed Martial Arts (UFC, K-1) is threatening WWE’s grip on the Pay-Per-View market and young male demographic.
United States
- A bridge collapsed during rush hour in a major city, and it was revealed that MOST of the nation’s infrastructure is POOR and ready to crumble.
- Race relations are still easily stirred in any case where the police uses force… or if any comedian makes a joke.
- Keywords: Wildfire, Malibu, rich folk, MEDIA
- $1.2 TRILLION dollars worth of property value decreased, and the number of home foreclosures DOUBLED from last year.
- Terrorist plots were prevented (thankfully).
- The Writer’s Guild goes on strike. TV shows goes on hiatus. Jay Leno can’t write his own material. Can we please get hired?
Sports
- Barry Bonds made history by breaking the all-time homerun record, and only the San Fransisco fans and a certain blog cared.
- Bonds was indicted on perjury.
- Football quarterback Michael Vick originally denied any wrongdoing in running a barbaric dog fighting venture, but finally plead guilty. He also killed dogs that didn’t fight well.
- Former Marlins closer U. Urbina was sentenced to 14 years in prison for murder in his home country.
- Tiger Woods won the PGA Championship.
- An NBA referee was caught betting on games.
- Marian Jones pleaded guilty to steroid use after denying it.
- The New York Mets had their biggest collapse.
- Yankees relief pitcher Joba Chamberlain became an overnight sensation, although flying ants ruined his moment.
- Roger Clemens’ return was overhyped, and didn’t translate into a ring.
- A-Rod was MVP.
- Red Sox win! Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Red Sox win the 2007 World Series over the Colorado Rockies.
- The Boss, George Steinbrenner, was revealed to be a non-entity. His son Hank took over, and proceeded to pay hardball with the team.
- Yankees manager Joe Torre quit, followed by bench coach Don Mattingly. Joe Giraldi was named new manager.
- The Mitchell Report reaffirmed that we live in a Grim Earth, as 88 players were named. Roger Clemens’ legacy is forever tainted.
- The New England Patriots finished 16-0.
- Former Yankees World Champion Jim Leyritz killed a woman while DUI.
Tashman Technologies (tm), a fictional universe
- After The Loyalist finally retired, he had achieved a dream…and then lived through a nightmare.
- The Lone Teleporter was killed, brought back for a one-shot cameo, and forgotten about.
- The Lobo Bros. disappeared.
- The Latino World Order invaded Tashman’s office, had a coup, and demanded “Fair Play and Fair Pay”. They got it.
- Tashman had its slowest year, and tensions were high, as backstabbing and cliques were solidified.
- Luthor lost everything.
- Third shift stopped for a while after V. quit when work was slow, and Raw went to 2nd shift.
- C.E.O. and Overmind had a major, final, career-threatening blowout in January, but things cooled off (mostly) for the rest of the year.
- Tashman’s main rival folded.
- Captain Fascist, Arse, Character Assassin, and Gazelle are still running strong in another company.
- The Fossil and The Stork are looking for work. So’s J.A.P.
- Mrs. Overmind celebrated her one-year Tashman anniversary.
- Overmind somehow survived nine.
- Phive was fired.
- Christmas party was BYOB.
Feel free to add your 2007 events in comments! And your predictions for 2008- The Year of the Rat.
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2008 will be the year of the anti-matter cloud. The past will be forgotten by the end of the year. We’ll be in Earth-Sigma a year from now.
Huckabee vs. Richardson, this fall!
Edwards vs. R.: A personality type 8 trial lawyer becomes president in 2008. Eat it and weep.
The Dodgers win! THEEEEEEEEE Dodgers win! Joe Torre, victorious again … Nomar Garciaparra … Brad Penny, with his second ring….
They did WHAT with Spider-Man and Mary Jane? NOOOOOOOoooooooo!!!!!!!!
Hidden text around the teleporter image…I broke the code
Predictions for 2008 ?
As for politics, i find it impossible to predict the results of an election that is not even determined by the amount of votes a candidate gets.
will the candidate that gets more votes win this year?
or will it be the one who gets less?
only the people who have rigged the elections know for sure.
like i said, impossible to predict.
but heres what we can be sure of.
#1-the candidates will give a lot of hopeful speeches about “change” to keep us distracted from reality.
you know, those speeches where everybody seems to agree that there is a crisis.
everybody will say that somebody should do something about it,
but as usual nobody will.
#2-no matter who wins the election it looks like both political parties will keep our troops in iraq.
because theyre all too afraid of getting blamed for what will happen when we withdraw,
so none of them want to take responsibility for the inevitable in-fighting that is going to take place in iraq because of the power vacuum that will be created by the withdrawal of our troops,
it looks like whether we get a democrat or republican, theyre going to keep our troops in iraq for at least the next 4 or 5 years as they pass the responsibility of what happens after the withdrawal onto the next administration that is due to take power,where they will be safe from blame.
theyll all have plans to withdraw our troops by 2013 or 2020 etc..
this will all be done in spite of the fact the the majority of the public has clearly spoken their wishes to get our troops home and there will be a few more protests here and there that accomplish nothing, while the government as a whole continues to do whatever it wants without any real consequence.
#3-china will still continue to manufacture everything that americans buy.
while our trade deficits increase, and the value of the dollar continues to go down as nations all around the world dump thier dollars and to replace them with euros,
throughout all of this the patriots of the united states will continue to insist that we are still number one in everything so there is no need for us to change,and that we should immediately start bombing some other country.
#4-everybody on the right will continue to blame everybody on the left for every bad thing that happens,
and everybody on the left will blame everybody on the right for every bad thing that happens.
this will continue at a steady pace throughout the year.
#5-the price of oil will go up again.
#6-there will still be many random crimes and shootings committed by assorted wingnuts throughout the country.
#7-just about everybody in the middle east will continue to hate on the united states and israel for everything.
and no bombing of any middle eastern country will change that – even though politicians and radio talk show hosts will continue to promote bombing them as the only solution.
#8-the earthquake in japan that released 300 gallons of radioactive water into the sea will not create the emergence of godzilla.
much to my disappointment, because that would have been really entertaining.
oh well,maybe next year.
#9-Hugo Chavez will continue to piss people off all over the world by saying things that are controversial,because thats what he does.
#10-George W Bush and company will continue to do whatever the hell they want whether its legal or not.
political critics will point at it and complain about illegalities but also do nothing about it and say that there is nothing that can be done because of congress’ refusal to impeach him.
and the seat of the presidency will continue to have the ability to block any investigation by citing executive privilege,denying relevant information classified because of national security, or you cant do this now because were in a time of war.
whatever reason they want to name that puts them above the law or constitution will stand because of the gutlessness of his critics in washington.
#11-the adaptation of iron man for the big screen will probably be pretty cool.
#12-Daily skew posters and bloggers will continue to argue and debate passionately about the true relevance of comic book characters, alternate universes, and messed-up timelines.
#13-The media at the end of 2007 has finally said that they are gonna stop talking about britney
because they have sensed that the nation has collectively rolled its eyes and turned off the news-
and so now the media is promising that they will stop, so that people will start watching the news again.
let me tell you, they are just waiting.
right after everybody thinks its safe and turns the news back on…
They are just going to start talking about britney again.
they are lying,
its a trick.
they cant help themselves.
its gossip-tabloid-nation.
the media is sick and needs help badly.
My escape plan from this pop-culture vortex consists of me making sure the television set remains firmly in the off position throughout the majority of 2008,
and to start ignoring everything immediately.
ladies and gentleman,
Welcome to the year of the rat.
R.A.W, I just wanna say that was another excellent and funny post!!!!
I also happen to agree with you on all of them.