by Mother Earth's spokesman, The Loyalist
Young people simply have no respect these days. After all, I support life on this planet. I keep all of you alive through my works, and yet you have to accuse me of doing bad things.
Do you think I cause tsunamis on purpose? Do you suppose I have control over when Yosemite will blow? Global warming? Global cooling, which was a big fear back in 1925? Well, you shouldn't. Things happen. I'm not perfect.
You folks don't care, though. That much is obvious -- instead of being understanding, you make fun of me. You say the U.N. is going to sanction me. You say I should be sued. Arrested. Quarantined! I am Mother Nature -- do you realize how silly you all sound?
I guess it's all a big joke to you -- but it hurts my feelings. Really.
I am sick of all the negative emails, phone calls, negative comments I've gotten since this parody news stuff started. It's gotten to the point where people are shouting at me in the parks, stomping on the ground and spitting on me.
I've been talking to my friend, the sun, and we both agree this has to stop. You people should appreciate what I do for you ... not make fun of me. The sun offered to help, but I told him there's no need to flare up ... I'm sure that just by asking nicely, all you "funny" writers and performers will back off.
So, please stop the parodies. I'm sick of them. And show a little respect.
Thank you.
posted by DamianHospital @ Friday, November 30, 2007
3 Comments:
I say we find this Mother Nature and tell her we don't need her anymore.
Yeah.
That'll learn her.
What part of "Sun flaring up" don't you get, Floyd?
is this real?
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