Pseudo-paradoxes

Pseudo-paradoxes

by Damian Hospital and Tony DeCarvalho, copyright 2005

Opinion Paradox

I hate strong opinions, particularly when those opinions are stated as fact. However, I also have strong opinions on certain subjects, and believe they are facts not to be questioned by insolent fools.

There are no right or wrong opinions. Just opinions. From billions of people.

Vacation Paradox

After a period of great stress, I need a vacation. In the initial stages of “decompressing,” I find that I am more irritable and agitated than I was when I was under a lot of stress.

Much like a man who has been deep-sea diving, I must emotionally decompress slowly if I am to avoid blowing up emotionally.

Sleep Paradox

I don’t get more than five hours sleep a day for a few days. Then, one blessed day, I get eight or more hours of rest. I wake up feeling more tired and sluggish than in the previous few days!

Microfiche Paradox

Customer sends me microfiche to be destroyed.
I dump them in the middle of the ocean.
Customer goes crazy because I did not follow standard procedures by using a crematory. In his mind, I did not destroy the fiche.

BUT let’s pretend the scenario is different. If they actually NEEDED the microfiche and had it sent to us as *important* cargo, but the fiche accidentally fell into ocean (but was quickly retrieved) they would say that the fiche IS destroyed and unusable.

Try to follow the logic: dumping microfiche in the ocean is NOT destroying it, but it IS destroying it.
The fact that the customer NEEDED the fiche in the second example makes the act of dumping fiche different than the first example- even though the action is exactly the same.

Deletion Paradox

You accidentally delete files from your computer, and you are screwed because Norton utilities can’t bring the file back. You call your friends and they can’t get the file back. Everyone agrees if you deleted a file, and it wasn’t protected, you’re a goner.

BUT people always say that the FBI can retrieve ANYTHING from your computer, that EVERY file is burned onto your hard drive. So if you download porn, all of your friends will tell you that its *still* on your computer. BUT if you accidentally delete an important file, they will tell you the bad news- that it is irretrievable.